The Rambling Gypsy
Welcome to The Rambling Gypsy Podcast, where Tiffany Foy and friends invite you to join them on their porch for a candid conversation about the quirks and adventures that make up their lives. From Tiffany's eclectic collection of animals to the chaos and joys of raising boys, there's nothing held back as they share their unfiltered perspectives.
With a refreshing honesty and a refusal to sugarcoat anything, this podcast delves into the various oddities and peculiarities that come in life's way. From hilarious anecdotes to thought-provoking discussions, they explore the everyday moments that shape their experiences.
Fortunate to be porching it, Tiffany and friends create an inviting atmosphere where authenticity thrives. They unapologetically embrace their unique journey, inviting listeners to do the same. This podcast is not for everyone, but it is for some; those who appreciate unfiltered, real-life conversations that don't shy away from the messy and imperfect aspects of living.
Join us as we gather around the virtual porch and immerse ourselves in the stories, insights, and laughter that The Rambling Gypsy Podcast brings. Whether you're a fellow animal lover or a parent navigating the rollercoaster of boyhood, this podcast will entertain, inspire, and remind you that it's okay to embrace life's imperfections.
So grab a seat, put on your headphones, and get ready for a delightful journey of laughter, reflection, and unscripted joy. Welcome to The Rambling Gypsy Podcast, where we invite you to be part of our vibrant and unfiltered world.
The Rambling Gypsy
When It Rains On Your Parade, Dust Off Your Pom-Poms
When life serves up heartbreak, true friendship becomes the medicine that heals our deepest wounds. In this raw and revealing episode, Tiffany welcomes back her best friend friend Kel to the she-shed for a conversation that touches every emotional note on the spectrum.
What begins as lighthearted catching up—Kel's dramatic hair transformation and tales of Tiffany's upcoming SPF 90 Tour—gradually unveils something much more profound. For the first time publicly, Tiffany courageously shares her painful journey through separation after discovering her husband's extensive infidelity spanning eight years and multiple women. Her vulnerability offers powerful wisdom: "Life is too short to be married to an asshole," speaking directly to anyone who's ever stayed too long in a relationship that diminishes their worth.
Between emotional revelations, the conversation takes delightfully unexpected turns. We learn about the traditions behind Mardi Gras king cakes (including why finding the baby inside is both lucky and costly), the absurdity of Animal Control investigating Tiffany's well-cared-for lemur Fiona (only to discover the officer was connected to her childhood friend), and their upcoming adventures in Fredericksburg wine country.
This episode beautifully demonstrates how friendship creates safe spaces where we can be authentic, whether sharing tears over betrayal or laughing about emergency roadside bathroom breaks. Through it all, Tiffany reminds us that no matter how hard the rain falls on our parade, we always have the choice to dust off our pom-poms and keep dancing.
Join us for this emotional rollercoaster that will leave you reflecting on your own relationships while feeling like you've just shared a glass of wine with your closest friends. And remember—when life gets tough, sometimes all you need is a friend who'll hand you a tissue and help you find your way forward.
The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.
Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/
I don't know how you drive a car.
Speaker 2:Kel Kel's back in the she shed. Hello friend, hi darling, I barely remembered how to get here.
Speaker 3:You did.
Speaker 2:And then the wind. You know it's pretty serious today.
Speaker 3:You haven't been here in forever. It's been a hot minute. By the way, I'm Tiffany Foy and this is the Ramblin' Gypsy podcast. She is and this is my girl, kel-kel, and she hasn't been here in forever, so long that you don't even remember how to get here.
Speaker 2:It was a nice scenic route, though Pause why?
Speaker 1:does your car not have me on auto map? Oh, it does, it does. It drives itself you know, I mean literally.
Speaker 2:I kept looking around With your fancy car. Yeah, everything drives itself. What have you been doing? What have I been doing? Where have you been Not having any fun? I'm sure of that.
Speaker 3:Well, first let's talk about your hair. Okay, so we have um. We have pics of said event because um amber at felgen friends in new brunfels does our hair hair donation pile holy moses? You have got more hair. Yeah, but you've been growing it out for how long?
Speaker 2:years. It was two years. I made it jesus, time flies. And then, uh, one day I just decided what am I doing with my life? My sister said if it's not bringing you joy, get rid of it.
Speaker 3:Get rid of it I said fuck it like baggage, it'll grow back. Well, amber was very um, hesitant, yes, cautious, conscious, whatever. So hesitant, yes, cautious, conscious, whatever.
Speaker 2:So I started with her when I was already in the grout. She was very gentle with me and she's more like a long hair girl. And then it's like just keep cutting it, Just keep cutting it. And she's like are you sure? Are you sure this is really drastic? I'm like, I know, I'm kind of drastic.
Speaker 3:And I was there under the dryer and kept saying, nope, that's not, she's not going to like it, it's not short enough.
Speaker 2:Keep doing it, it's not short enough.
Speaker 3:Keep cutting, Cut more. And then she would try to push it down and you would say I'm not a school teacher. Wait, she looked like a substitute teacher yes, yeah, and then you'd turn around and she was like I'm like no, no, she's like that's what she does, that's what she does. She gotta make it all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was you know it's a new season, bring the spice back, yeah, yeah. So now we're back to your, your wild hair.
Speaker 3:Now mine's chopping off. You're doing the el natural.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I guess a braid break, dread break, yes yeah, I'm giving my head a little rest.
Speaker 3:A dreaded break, literally a dreaded break. I'm giving myself a dreaded break, literally a dreaded break. I'm giving myself a dreaded break. And yeah, because you know we're leaving for the SPF 90 tour in April, for the podcast. I'm thinking that you may have to hop a plane and April's like right around, like this April.
Speaker 3:This one Girl, four weeks four or five weeks away, you better check the calendar. Uh huh, yeah, so you may have to. So four or five weeks away, you better check the calendar. Uh-huh, yeah, so you may have to. So we originally were talking about going six weeks. We're doing 11 states, six weeks and because we have to be back here in may, so we've now split it. So we're going to do three weeks, then we're coming back, we're going to finish out the summer and then we haven't decided. We tentatively have talked about leaving september, but we may scoot it up Spring and fall May, scoot it up to do the last three weeks in August, depending on how summer goes, because you know we have the resort and we're usually slammed and it's Memorial Day to Labor Day.
Speaker 2:And so we're trying to. I believe it's almost river time again, like we just had this conversation, I know this year just flew by.
Speaker 3:I feel like we were just sitting on the porch not that long ago talking about Mardi Gras and you're pissed off because I didn't show up in my gear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, this year.
Speaker 3:Today. I text you earlier and I said look, I'm going to, I don't, I'm doing it. Do it as cute as you do. But I did whip out my hat. What do think about my hat? That is an incredible hat, thank you. I made this a very, very long time ago and me and um, my feathers were kind of on point, but then steiner and everyone. If you know steiner steiner ate steiner steiner licked them. That's the real story.
Speaker 2:She licked the feathers. Anyone else? You know it sounds completely fictitious, but you know, you know somebody ate them, yeah.
Speaker 3:Um so, marty girl, that's your favorite holiday, your favorite everything.
Speaker 2:I'm a little bitter about it this year.
Speaker 3:First of all, I don't want to interrupt you but I'm going to. And you should be bitter, because last year you let rowan keep up the christmas tree and you did a mardi gras I did and this year you suck that's probably why everything fell through for me.
Speaker 2:that's what I think. I didn't have enough spirit obviously. Then it froze the weekend we had planned to go Like 20 degree weather, like literal rain on the fucking parade, like nobody rains on my parade. They actually had rain on the parade and they actually did. A lot of it got canceled and today is Fat Tuesday, which is like the grim finale of Mardi Gras and I hear they're having 75 mile an hour wins. Canceled all the parades. Somebody rolled at 6 30 this morning.
Speaker 3:So anyway, I didn't just miss Mardi Gras, most people did.
Speaker 2:How do you cancel a whole parade? I mean, I guess, wow, I don't know Freezing rain. You know they had snow, just like last month in louisiana, like record-breaking. So do they reschedule stuff like that? I don't know, they rescheduled a few, but today's the end, like tomorrow's ash wednesday.
Speaker 3:It's over, party's over the dust is in the wind and on your forehead. Yeah, exactly, yeah, all that wow, so that's depressing.
Speaker 2:Today is the only day I even got to wear Mardi Gras stuff. Well, if you would have kept your tree up, clearly Okay next year. I even told you you could come and get a tiny tree for Rowan, so y'all could still decorate it.
Speaker 3:Damn it, but you didn't do it Clearly I'm a failure, that's what happens when you have no spirit.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:You get rain on your parade. You brought this shit upon yourself. I probably did so. I wonder what happens with all the cakes. People still going to go out and party. And still eat the cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, at least you can do the cake at your house.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, not weather dependent Right. Didn't you have a king cake last year?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do every year.
Speaker 3:Didn't do that either. Do you have?
Speaker 2:your people make them. Yes, you can.
Speaker 3:Absolutely you can. You don't just go to the HEBs. That's not the same. It's not the same.
Speaker 2:One time I ordered something on Amazon where you make it yourself. Stop, we did.
Speaker 3:Wait, do you have a picture of?
Speaker 2:this. I do have a picture. I'll find it.
Speaker 3:Okay, because I need to see it, you go to the website.
Speaker 2:Yeah girl, we had the. We put beads on it, we put the. I feel like I remember a picture.
Speaker 3:Purple and yellow and green sugar on it or was this? A Mardi Gras box or something y'all made. Didn't Rowan make a box? Wait what am I thinking about? That was his Valentine's Day box. Okay, yes, I had to bring over the hot glue gun for someone, that's right, and he used it again this year some stuff to it.
Speaker 2:Light still worked. Oh, his teacher was so impressed and I was impressed that I didn't have to make another box. That's good. I didn't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I didn't my phone didn't ring for the glue gun hustle game strong. Well, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So do you have a king cake at the house? Not yet. I guess I better go. I failed.
Speaker 2:It's just a mess, you know, I'm going to just call it a wash. Okay, I'm going to try harder next year.
Speaker 3:What is so special about a king cake?
Speaker 2:It has a baby inside.
Speaker 3:You need to tell everybody that doesn't know.
Speaker 2:This is your deal Sweet bread, you can pick your flavors, you know to tell everybody that doesn't know, because this is your deal Sweet bread, you can pick your flavors. You know it has like that.
Speaker 3:I didn't realize it had different flavors.
Speaker 2:You can do gray, you can do like raspberry and cream cheese inside there. Girl, yes, really. So they had the baby under the cake and if you get the baby you're supposed to buy the next cake, because there's more than one cake. There's not more than one baby. It's kind of like a donut. There's only one baby in the cake. I guess they used to bake it inside and then people were like choking on it, so now they just sit on top of it. So now you've got to read the fine print.
Speaker 3:You've got to pay attention how hungry are you?
Speaker 2:You just ate the baby you just ate the baby.
Speaker 3:So there's a baby in each cake. Yep, what's?
Speaker 1:the purpose of putting the baby in the cake.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't know, and I just bought a Mardi Gras book and it was all about the king cake baby. There's really not an explanation that. I know I'm actually from here, texas. I just have a lot of spirit.
Speaker 3:You just do have a lot of spirit, but just not in the year 2025. Oh man.
Speaker 2:We're going to pick up the spirit. I'll need to are dusty, dust them all apart.
Speaker 3:Dust off your pom-poms. That's good, solid advice, no matter what you're going through. I've never looked up the whole baby thing. I've seen it because we took it, you saved it. We had to glue it on the box on the valentine's box
Speaker 2:this year. He didn't want to be naked, so I had to glue a little blanket. That's very, very kind and thoughtful, good, good looking out.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Strong work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, likes the naked baby it is. It's supposed to be baby Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the king's suffering. Okay, all right. Well, I didn't study for the pop quiz today. I've been having a hard week. My dog ate my homework, okay, and like there was things and stuff, and then, in the spirit of giving, if you get the baby in the cake, then you buy the next year's cake Pay it forward. Oh, I think it's like the next day's cake.
Speaker 3:You get back to back cakes. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Ooh, I mean mean it's like a donut, it's like a dessert, like it's, yeah, and then everybody, you got to leave the knife in the box.
Speaker 3:that's like a rule if you get the baby, it's supposed to mean that you're lucky and you have prosperity, so you can then afford to now see if I'm going to be baking my own cake and I know where I'm going to put the baby in the cake that's called a yeah, I know, I put out a baby trap yeah, baby baby trap put it in the cake before you put the icing on and put a little hole in the bottom of it, and then you put the icing in a different color sugar.
Speaker 3:so you really don't know where it's at Before you bake the cake.
Speaker 2:No, this is like a ring. You bake the cake first.
Speaker 3:Oh, and then you put the icing in the yellow and the it's like and all the things Interesting Okay.
Speaker 2:But if you put the icing on first, you know at least which color it's underneath. You don't do that.
Speaker 3:We're getting lost in it. Yeah, we're going to find the baby. I'm going to need a dry erase board and I'm going to need a pointer that says laser. So how this starts is first you start with the purple, then you get the green, then maybe the yellow. There's a map to the baby. She'll put it on a PDF. Yeah, no, she's going to make us a smart, a dumb version. King baby cake for dummies, chapter one, and go Cut, yeah. So what else has been going on? So you had a hard week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, might go to a I don't know about Tuesday, something tonight.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what are y'all doing at the bar?
Speaker 2:Um, I think they're having mini king cakes and like hurricane.
Speaker 1:Should each one have babies in them?
Speaker 2:That's a good question. They better Well, he didn't have me ordering a baby's on Amazon, so probably not Sorry about your baby. Sorry about your baby and your luck. No babies allowed. 21 and up. Yep, hurricane shots yeah, what are those? It's like rum and a lot of juice and juice, a lot of rum, a lot of rum. Mostly rum. So Captain Jack Sparrow would be dancing around.
Speaker 3:Make a pint, make a pint. That would be a fat Tuesday, not going to lie. Nothing like a good dose of black eyeliner and some room.
Speaker 2:I mean, he does it well.
Speaker 3:He's such a beautiful species of a man, I don't know why he's an interesting creature, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So we have Fat Tuesdays happening, then you haven't been here forever. I know I feel like we have so much to talk. We have Fat Tuesdays happening, then you haven't been here forever. I know I feel like we have so much to talk about.
Speaker 2:I had no time, our whole friendship just went to shit right now. You did this on purpose.
Speaker 3:This is stupid.
Speaker 2:Everybody's been asking where's Kelvin, where's Kelvin? So then we have so much to talk about, and here we are. Here we are A month later. Thank god, my car drove me here.
Speaker 3:I can't believe that alright, so what? Else you having any fun no, no, it's actually crunch time for the tour, and so we're starting. I'm starting to get into panic mode.
Speaker 2:It's always a good idea and it's like oh shit. Who's gonna do all this right?
Speaker 3:yep, so we're, we're figuring all that out and we've got a pretty good. We've got the tour lineup, we have the dates all set up and then I'm super excited on the second half of the tour. Um, we're headed to alabama and I am going to go and meet math matthews, the comedian, mr um, he's got his obviously his tiktoks, and he's got his farm and he does boudoir photo shoot. Stop it. Yep, we talked about a year ago and then um got back in touch with them and so it's gonna take us yeah um, about three, four hours kind of off the beaten path, but it's gonna absolutely be freaking worth it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can't wait for those pictures every.
Speaker 3:I mean just the entertainment and I feel like that he is just my spirit animal and so I am so stupid excited about doing the whole thing with him, because he's now on tour doing comedy shows and that's a lot of yeah I look forward to no yeah, I always feel like, even when it sucks, I have to like look at that calendar and try to like just find there's something else fun coming up.
Speaker 2:You know just whatever it takes to get you through, can you believe the kids are gonna be all school for spring breaks? You're like two weeks away. We have.
Speaker 1:What are we gonna do? What are y'all gonna go? What are y'all doing?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Every time we plan things way out, it just gets wrecked so we're just going to decide and go because we don't have long enough to fuck up your plan. I mean, they can still. Anything can happen hurricane force, winds, flood drought.
Speaker 3:I'm surprised we haven't had in a long minute.
Speaker 2:I know it's coming. It is coming. They're all going to be surprised too.
Speaker 3:I think so All those new houses. We have for spring break. We are going to Fredericksburg, me and Nick, drinking some wine. We're going to drink some of that, for sure, but we're going to go and do um some business shows, some interviews, introduce a lot of people to um local businesses and some wineries down there. You know curtis has got his bar down there at the top now oh wow we went and visited that last weekend and it was so much fun.
Speaker 3:And they have this huge outdoor area for the kids. It's all fenced in, um, it's off the beaten path, it's steiner can go, yes and so, and it's it's. It's like on the outskirts of fredericksburg, so you cruise through main street and then you go about another 10 months. I love fredericksburg and so we're going to go there. We're going to go there, we're going to go to the Elks Lodge. I mean not the lodge, it's the Elks, it's Todd owns that. And then Lincoln Street and Vaudeville and who else do we have on there? Nick, we've got. Oh, grape Creek. We'll go visit Kim and the crew from Grape Creek that I've been Business and pleasure tour.
Speaker 2:It is you had me at wine, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:And so it was kind of crazy because we talked about doing this and it was actually nick's idea. We've been talking about going and hitting up just random areas, but her, her bio, is coming into town and wants to go to fredericksburg and I said, well, that's cool, because it's only an hour, little you know an hour to get there staycation, yeah, and so I said you know nick you know your an hour to get there, Staycation yeah. And so I said you know, Nick, you know your girl likes some wine.
Speaker 3:And so we're not going to be running back and forth. She's like, oh well, buy a little DDS. And so I was like, okay, done, let's go.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, and there's a driver Right. Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, we've got that all narrow, so that's going to be a good time. I'm super excited.
Speaker 2:You'll have to let me know when that goes down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you definitely need to come and do.
Speaker 2:I have to work Like the vaudeville visit.
Speaker 3:If you guys have never been to vaudeville, this place it's a two story building on main street, white. So this beautiful upper balcony, the upper level, is literally off the street. And then you walk down below to where the restaurant is, and on sundays they have the best fried chicken you will ever taste in your entire life it is like this hidden recipe.
Speaker 3:It is, there is. You know me and I'm a foodie. I love me some good food and this fried chicken is retarded and they will make it until, I mean, you get there Until they run out and it's done. Yeah, and you need to be there at a decent time and yeah, they close it too. And I'm telling you it is worth getting up on a Sunday morning and making the dry to Frederick's.
Speaker 3:Oh, do they ever dry to Frederick's? Oh, do they ever Fresh squeezed All the things? They have a little bakery inside there, zuchas, checking out all the things. Yeah, so I'm excited about that. So that's what we're doing spring break we're just going to be running up and down from Fredericksburg for five days. I'm going to have to get in on that Five days in a row, you need to.
Speaker 2:We'll have to have your people get with my people.
Speaker 3:Okay, want to put Rowan on speed dial if you will, yeah.
Speaker 2:Holler at him. Uh-huh, that poor guy. Oh my gosh, just heartbroken. I packed for nothing and I was like I packed for just in case we were ready. We were going to get to go the other night night I was putting him to bed and he went in there and he was missing for a few minutes ago. And his bed is made, I mean fabulously, with all the stuffed animals and everything is, and I'm like it looks so good Like you're a really good bed maker. But you know it's time to go to bed now.
Speaker 2:I just wasted all that time and I was like how about you do this, like, like I don't know when you wake up? Or like any other time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that way you learn there's a thing that I shared a while back, and it's about making your bed, and we see if you can find that, nick. There's a deal about. We make our bed every day. I literally um, since it's been just me and my animals in my bed for a long minute. It has been absolute because there was a human in there when I would get up and be leaving, but it has been one of the best things that I have ever done is getting up and making your bed every single day.
Speaker 2:And just to have it everything put together, you know how my house is set up because the door's right there.
Speaker 3:So when you're in the living room. If my door is open, you see my whole entire bedroom.
Speaker 2:So it's either Our deal is whoever gets up last makes the bed Right, and I work early.
Speaker 3:So yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's a real good bed maker. Well, that's good, pillows and everything.
Speaker 1:That's good I don't know why we need to throw pillows. Listen.
Speaker 2:It makes it pretty. It's about like I'm very affected by my environment. Yes, so I feel like if there's like shit everywhere, I can't relax and it's like, yeah, it's a pain in the ass to do it, but like it feels so good. Just it says something about how, when you Relieving your stress.
Speaker 3:Encouraging good habits. Start the day with positivity.
Speaker 2:Start your day with positivity. As I'm swinging my pillow around in the air going, no, I'm just not a morning person. Not a morning person goes off every day and I'm like I'm good yeah. Someday I'm going to sleep.
Speaker 3:No, there's like a poem or there's something. I feel like there's something to that there is, I feel like. Emily Roberts is one that shared it with me years ago? She probably did start it with positivity she's a little fucking energizer yeah.
Speaker 2:Funny, and what have you? She's a good one, yeah, yeah, but there's. You'll like um side note, yeah, but that is a good habit. I mean, I feel like, just put shit back where it goes. I'm trying to teach that to my children. Um guess why you can't find it? Because you didn't put it back where it went ever anytime.
Speaker 3:Well, that is, that's all good and fine and dandy in theory, but at the same time, I'm the first one that puts things where I think I know I'm gonna put it. If it doesn't have an assigned seating, yeah, then turn to your assigned seats.
Speaker 2:I use that a lot. I use it with my boobs all kinds of reasons and need to get back where they belong together girls I mean the day it's not even 5 o'clock yet.
Speaker 3:I mean it is Fat Tuesday, so I guess you could just it's 5 o'clock all day. I'm pretty sure you know, let them out, let them do whatever. I didn't even realize that today was Fat Tuesday. Well, of course, this isn't going to air until whatever, but I mean. It's irrelevant. Well, I mean, I guess, because the parades are canceled. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Nobody knows what day it is anymore.
Speaker 3:Nobody's going to get to eat.
Speaker 2:It's like that time between Christmas and New Year's Nobody knows what day it is. Yes, does it even matter?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's kind of how I feel like here lately, because we've been working seven days a week and then I feel like I've been working seven days a week Just going and going, and going and going.
Speaker 2:I'm like what March you see, I posted? I think it was like February was a little.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, nick told me and it was so cute, come on in, sit down, don't fucking touch nothing.
Speaker 1:And I said was she?
Speaker 2:talking to March or was she talking to Rowan? That was my response. You can place that with Rowan every time. That is so cute.
Speaker 3:So cute, it's just. And his school pictures. Oh, can we talk about his shirt untucked with his With?
Speaker 2:the vest With the blazer and the vest. It's like a 5T or something. The vest, he had to have the vest I said, buddy, it's too small.
Speaker 1:It's so cute, I was like oh okay, everybody's.
Speaker 2:Like was that for like a dance or was it like a something? No, that's his regular-ass school picture. Uh-huh, he wanted to wear a suit. I texted my friend. I said that, boutonniere, you got your money's worth of five years ago at your wedding. Five years ago. He keeps re-wearing it. He'll move it from suit to suit, yeah girl.
Speaker 3:Okay, first of all, let's talk about wedding. So Nick just got home from a little adventure oh yeah, mm little adventure, oh yeah yeah, and it was a situation. God love the whole thing, but we have decided that we could become um insta coordinators yeah, you are an insta coordinator, which I love, you know, I love you're like you want to have a wedding this weekend, I'll pull that boom and done skis and I'm like that's what I weekend. Yeah, don't ask me for one two weekends from now, because I ain't got time.
Speaker 2:I will overthink it. You were well under pressure, yeah.
Speaker 3:That is your jam and my poor girl, which you know. We're never apart and so, and when she's stressed, I lose my ever-loving mind. And she is messaging me and y'all are going back to the Airbnb to make the boutonnieres. The wedding is tomorrow, in tomorrow. It was like a boutonniere making party Of one. It was Nick party of one, nick party of one. Grab your flowers and your hot glue gun.
Speaker 2:We did the bridesmaids bouquets the day before and the boutonnieres the day right before the wedding.
Speaker 3:Nick had to run. First of all, we had a coordinator.
Speaker 1:You're stressing me out just talking about it. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Do you know how many times I had to put deodorant on, and I was four and a half hours away from her?
Speaker 2:She's messed up, she's driving in her friend's car.
Speaker 3:I said look. I'm going to either have to jump down the highway or get me a Jetsons little plane.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, I have it on camera.
Speaker 3:I had to run that down. She had to run down the aisle with the rings during the ceremony.
Speaker 2:Personal assistant. I chose service. They paid a coordinator. You should have took that bitch's money For real.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I mean build an invoice, babe. You're good at it, can you?
Speaker 2:imagine, Kel. Can you block your sister from watching this? Can you block her from the video?
Speaker 3:She needs to know. She needs to know the hell she put her sister through. Send her a thank you card.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh Lord.
Speaker 2:I'm mad at you.
Speaker 3:I was so stressed for Nick and for the whole situation and for her sister.
Speaker 2:Thank you for sharing that stretch Her sister to pieces Because, my goodness, I got it on camera.
Speaker 3:You can see me running down the aisle.
Speaker 2:I believe you. I believe you a thousand percent.
Speaker 3:Then not to mention all the bullshit. Then there's a particular color of this dress that Nick's got to wear. So we and I know I bought, bought 487 dresses. You've seen one. Hell you've worn four or five of them Dresses for my kid's wedding in Cabo, and I knew I had the perfect color and I knew I had the perfect dress. You always do, I looked everywhere in my wardrobe.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, she asked me. I said I've what I found my rentals guess what I found this morning the dress you needed last week, not both of not one, but both of them for nick.
Speaker 3:And she goes are you freaking, kidding me?
Speaker 2:but the wedding's over.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I sent her a picture, but then so she's got her sister's dress that she wanted her to wear. So her and I because we do everything on the fly we had it on the calendar 47 times to go take her to the seamstress to get it, you know, edited or whatever that yeah, and we didn't. So then we wait five to seven days beforehand and our girl, our go-to, is like no, mija, we can't do this. This is a big project. No. So I look at Nick and I was like well, we're going to punt. And I knew there were several people in our community that have reached out on our local pages and what have you? So I know there's a whole plethora of. And the girl that we went to first, she's right above celebrations, she's an absolute fucking rock star. She's got a whole team of seamstresses in the back room and they're not 12.
Speaker 3:They're of age, they're grown up yeah they're big girls, okay, and they are kicking ass and taking names, but they're also doing everybody in celebrations and what have you. So they're booked out there. Yeah, they busy. So, yeah, we had a couple of people, we had posted a deal on our new Broncos local page and we got some really good people contacts and yeah, that's good One of them instant messaged us immediately and said yeah, bring it by.
Speaker 3:So Nick went by I think two days later, and this was not just a hem up the skirt, this was taken in five inches removed, the zipper squeezed it in, not something you could do.
Speaker 2:Obviously Add a couple of pleats, yeah.
Speaker 3:Then you got to hem the. This was a full-on remodel and sure as shit had it done. Sister had it done, said she remodel. And uh, sure shit had it done. Sister had it done, said she'd have it done on tuesday. Had it done on sunday afternoon. What was it nick? 45 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks seems just for the band on remodel. Better keep that girl's guard for real and give her plugs, because yeah hell yeah, and yeah and then sure shit. Today, when I was trying to find something, green to wear for this.
Speaker 3:Mardi Gras deal. I go in there and what do I find? Two blue dresses. Man, I hate that. I was so frustrated. I was like I cannot believe this shit. Somebody didn't put it back where it went, but I didn't, you're right.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:I think they do it just to fuck with me too, but it is so. Now I know where they are. So for the next, blue wedding for real?
Speaker 2:I'm not going anywhere with?
Speaker 3:no, we're not. We're going to divorce parties that is a. Thing let me tell you what I can't wait. I don't know what the fuck has been going on in 2024 and it's carrying over to 2025, but it is in the air. Yeah, it is in the air, and it's so sad and I'm right smack dab in the middle of it.
Speaker 3:But you are not alone no, and I did not realize that I was not. I mean, right, I'm sure you always feel that you're alone. And um, we've not talked about it publicly, obviously we kept it on the down low. Sure, I haven't said one word. Not that I give two shits to talk about my personal life, because, well, that part of it is not that interesting.
Speaker 3:But let me tell you something, and you know every single thing. You've been through me. You've been through this with me from day one, nick. There's not one thing that you don't know. There's not one thing that Nick don't know. There's not one thing that Tina don't know. There's not one thing that Brooks don't know. You four people have been my rocks from the beginning to today. But one thing I do want to say to everybody out there that one, the purple people eater yeah, no, people's personal business is not your own period. But in today's world, in today's society, in everything that we are doing, hell. I'm sitting here doing a fucking podcast telling everyone about my personal shit. Well, it's gonna come out, whether you want it to or not, and so you want to hear.
Speaker 3:My might as well clear the air might as well clear the air. I am a firm believer. I'm absolutely disgusted in, and I absolutely cannot stand, a cheater. I think it is a pussy move. I think it is disgusting, I think it is insecure, I think it is weak. I'm always like just it's absolutely disrespectful. I feel like if you have the urge to do that and leave, then do it, but do not, exactly, do not drag your partner, your significant other, your roommate, your whoever it is that you are involved in. They do not deserve that Period. Be open, be honest. That's what you signed up for.
Speaker 2:That's what you said you were going to do.
Speaker 3:If you don't walk away, then do that. It's not fair, I think it's disrespectful, I think it's rude, I think it's everything and then some. It's hurtful.
Speaker 2:And still, you know I mean it reflects on you regardless you have to deal with. You know the questions and how are you doing? And you know it's like do I want to like, keep it from everyone? No, I mean having to dig through someone's story having to save someone.
Speaker 3:You don't have to do that, but once you find it one time, it never goes away. It you constantly see it. Every time that person is looking at their phone, you, you, you can't help it. And then, when you find it one time, and then you find it another time, and you find it another time and you've got somebody else that is telling you that it's happening, and then you find out it's happening again, and then you find out it's been happening for eight years With 14 women. It really kind of kicks you in the balls. Reach out to your friends To reach out to your friends.
Speaker 2:Is this sound crazy? Or is this me Right? No, ma'am, right, walk away, figure out, get a plan. Whatever you have to do, don't life is too short it is too short that it is. It is too short to be married to an asshole.
Speaker 3:Too short to be made to feel like that's all you've got and as harmful as it is and as when you don't think that it can happen to you, it absolutely can happen to you. I never said that it could never happen to me. Hell, it's not the first time it's happened to me. Um, it's actually my second rodeo.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know, yeah, kind of done with these rodeos, but it is, um, I just feel like I just want to share with everybody and anybody that's listening, anybody that is in this situation. Don't sell yourself short. Um, I am at a time in my life, an age in my life, where, for whatever reason, I kind of had the you know what fucking attitude and I let it go and I kept believing, and I kept believing, and I kept believing and I kept allowing it and it'll get better.
Speaker 2:Can't believe me. And I kept allowing it. And it'll get better. Maybe if I just ignore it. Right, right and didn't get better. No, you had got yourself better, yeah, so and look how happy you are how hard.
Speaker 3:However hard the struggle is um, and I've said it gotta not just in personal relationships, but in business and in life in general. You're going to fall off that ladder a million times, or maybe you're not, but if you do, just don't fall off the same fucking time. Change your shoes, change your stability level.
Speaker 1:Change whoever's holding the ladder, yeah.
Speaker 3:Change how you went up there. If you fell down, just don't fall down it the same way twice, because then you didn't learn your lesson. So this has been a really hard lesson for me to learn and, to be honest, what is the lesson in this whole freaking thing? Do I know?
Speaker 2:You love yourself more. You don't let someone dictate the way you should feel about yourself, or someone that's constantly insulting you and getting inside your head. I mean, just makes you look at a person like it's just disappointing, like I chose you.
Speaker 3:And I still think it's disappointing and I still, I'm still very sad about it, I'm very disappointed.
Speaker 2:Ultimately yes I mean.
Speaker 3:It's not what we signed up for. That's a big letdown. It's very disappointing. It's hard to swallow. It's very, very, very hard to swallow. It's hard to swallow. It's very, very, very hard to swallow. It's hard to get over. Um, there are words that were said I can never take back.
Speaker 2:Sorry, doesn't take it away, but you know, I think and here goes my emotions, because that's me.
Speaker 3:I think that it's most of the times you don't remember all the good. You always the bad just shows up in your face and slaps you right in the balls. And I feel like with this deal, it's all the good words that slap you in the face that I'm thinking why, why the fuck would you say that and would you just keep the family and the kids and the everybody believing and believing and believing and leading everybody on and then just to shit, Talk about raining on a fucking parade.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's. It's hard to understand because you're not a person like that. Your heart is so big and so loving that you would never purposely hurt people or deceive people. So it's even harder to understand like I'm this way too. Like I, even if I was upset, I don't think what's the first thing I could do to fuck them over like people literally are like that right, and it's just when that's your partner it's like are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 2:you've hurt me worse than and I chose you, yeah than a stranger right ever has right. Yeah, it hurts, but but you're getting stronger every day and more smiles to come. And you know it's a. It's a. Nobody said it was going to be easy. There's no fucking manual for this. No, there's not. There's no two divorces that are exactly the same. No, two people are exactly the same. You know you have a good support system and you've got. I just think it's important to share that.
Speaker 3:You can't, you can't give up, you can't Not on yourself. No, just make the reach. You just got to lick the icing and eat the baby.
Speaker 2:Because tomorrow? Because tomorrow it's a cake.
Speaker 3:The next cake is on. You Supposed to be lucky, oh my Lord. And I'm sitting here at the window and I'm bawling my eyeballs out and I'm watching my ranch hand. Two of my horses have got out. We've got 25 miles of wind. It's blowing all around. Not only are my tears just flying. I've got my bulls running around chasing them. Oh no, I've got two horses that are loose.
Speaker 2:It's going to be a wizard of Oz. We're going to wake up somewhere else it's real cowboy shit.
Speaker 3:It is, but that's the worst cowboy ever. God love him. But I could walk out there and go hey, y'all knock it off, Get in your pen.
Speaker 2:What are you doing? Why do you got to walk them, I know.
Speaker 3:Watch this. Nick, will you give me a tissue please? But yeah, but. So Today's moral is First of all, dust off your fucking Mardi Gras, pom poms in 2026, kel, and get your shit together.
Speaker 2:On it, on it, second of all, um Sometimes it does rain on your parade.
Speaker 3:If you eat the baby, you just know you're going to have to get your checkbook out. Yeah, yeah, you can lick the icing Right. Yeah, stick your finger in it, absolutely. That's awkward Way to make it weird. You know, I'm trying. How's my makeup Still intact, is it? Well, that's better than my.
Speaker 2:Those are real tears, though it well, that's better than my, it's better than my spirit.
Speaker 3:Oh you, I girl, you know me real rain on the parade, it is oh, and if you haven't heard annie wilson's song, um, you need to, you need to. I will put a link and share um, you will hear it on our spf 90 spotify channel tour. I'm serious about my skincare and I'm very serious about my music and and yes, we have an SPF 90 tour channel that on Spotify that we are creating for the tour, and she is on there and I will be blaring it in my motor home as me and Nick and Axel, which is the kangaroo, and Steiner, which is the goat goat, and Fiona, which is the lemur, that will be on tour with us, and we will be blaring all of that as we cruise through 11 states in six weeks.
Speaker 2:I wish your motherfucker would pull y'all over.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I will have my own siren. I will throw Nick on the roof and she will be going. Woo, I'm going to get a radio. Going to get a radio. Oh, I got one of those Big mom coming through. We did, we tested it the other day when we were running around. Yeah, I need to make sure that I get the horn. My horn is not loud enough. Oh yeah, that's a big. You know me, you've got to kick that up a notch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got to be hitting that point. Are you going to teach them how to drive so you can run back and keep?
Speaker 3:Well, you know we were on a trip to. Where were we going? Baby girl Oklahoma.
Speaker 2:Girl, I'm scared too.
Speaker 3:Okay, so we were going to East Texas and we were in Black Betty, which is my Freightliner sport chassis. That, if you guys haven't- seen me running around in that thing. It's a fun rig and it's a good time. It's a fun rig and it's it's a good time. Big truck it is, and I and I throw a trailer or two behind their boat or something you know? Yeah and uh. Well, uh, we were coming through. Uh, oh, it was austin something.
Speaker 3:Oh, we were in the down, okay oh, you know how I hate me some 35E and the W's and I had to piddle, and so we had Steiner with us in Steiner's diaper bag. Well, steiner wears a size 7 overnighter.
Speaker 2:And I said look, here's the deal.
Speaker 3:I'm either going to and I've showed her how to put, I've explained, like the transmission, because it's got a six feet Allison and you know I love all, the, all the, the things and uh, so there's the buttons, push the buttons. Y'all know, you know, like you like to push all the buttons. Well, I've showed her how to put it in neutral.
Speaker 3:This is the parking brake, which is the big, large, loud. You know that you hear in the diesel trucks and so well, somehow I have fucked up my elbow and maybe it's because I've been single for the last 18 months to two years I don't know, but whatever.
Speaker 2:Mystery is mystery, I don't know.
Speaker 3:But anywho, it freaking kills me to pull that brake, and she loves it, and so I've taught her how to do that, and so well in the middle of this highway deal, I said, look, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to, you're going to kick this thing in neutral, you're going to pull the steel and I'm going to hop out here and I'm going to piddle on the side of the highway.
Speaker 3:Yep Of the 30 miles. We're going to keep trucking and you're going to hand me one of Steiner's diapers and I'm going to need you to hold the steering wheel and this little thing just loses her and she's like no.
Speaker 3:I've had her hold the steering wheel in the vet, which is, you know, it's a square steering wheel. It's a race. Yeah, it's got the race steering wheel on it and nope, and I'm like just don't touch the pedals in the back, because then you're going to start changing gears. So then she gets paranoid because there's the one of my nuts was attached. Yeah, the pedals in the back, because you'll start changing gears and so yeah, this is a big ass vehicle.
Speaker 3:There's so many cars around yeah and she did so she held on to the wheel. Of course, she had to literally crawl like right where it was and yep being your ride or die.
Speaker 2:I dropped it. No, it's a. You might actually die.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the thing well, I feel like there should be a course for this, like we should have a course for uh, yeah, yeah being my ride or die. Yeah, you might have to yeah, first of all, she handed the diaper in a very nice fashion, oh, and I and I was towing a trailer. She was ready, because we had to go pick up furniture too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh that's right, you were making a trip out of it.
Speaker 3:We did. We had a whole deal. Yeah, we went. Then Dallas, east Texas we did. We had three big stops.
Speaker 1:And we, freaking, made it all in one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Well then, because I'd pull over and just pee in the trailer. That's what's nice about just throwing a horse trailer on there, because you get Bring your own bathroom. Yeah, you put the nice cedar shavings in there, you give them a little spray down, uh-huh, and that's what they're for is to absorb moisture. Perfect, and I'm highly allergic to cedar.
Speaker 3:I go back there and every time because I'm once you pee, once you gotta pee a hundred times and I go back there and every time I'd come back out the trailer, my eyeballs would get more swole and more swole and I was like you know I should probably get back on my allergy shots or make sure I take my my how?
Speaker 1:many of these can I take?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep, so Says one, I took four Is that fine I peed in my size seven overnighter and we kept on trucking we kept on trucking we weren't late to any appointments.
Speaker 2:Keep on trucking. We did Hold the wheel.
Speaker 3:If they say hold the wheel, Yep, and if y'all need any training on how to train your nicks of your life, how to hold the wheel and how to properly yes, how to properly pass the diaper. She did so good, I was so proud you know it was good.
Speaker 2:This is a random tidbit. The other day I learned what a baby kangaroo looks like when it's born. I had no idea heard this on strawberry says, it says like a lima bean.
Speaker 1:It is and.
Speaker 2:I said this I gotta see, yeah. And then it's like it's born the regular way, and then it crawls its little self we call Manzi. Crawls its little self all the way up into the pouch, uh-huh, hooks on a grows in there, like I'm thinking medically, like how is it, is it?
Speaker 3:like no, because that's why, when people ask me all the time how old my roots are, there's no telling you how old the root are, because they're it's when they come out of the pouch like a pinky journal, I mean like a little gerbil like the.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was just mind blown. I'm like, hey, do you know about this?
Speaker 3:yeah, well, you got to kind of look up the. I watched the the YouTube video the opossums are kind of very similar Really. Yes, they're very see-through, clear. They look like this is unlike no shit I've ever seen. You know how, when you've sucked on a starburst for a little bit and it kind of gets transparent that's what the little opossums and the kangaroos look like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just the fact that it's like blind and deaf and can still find its way where it needs to. What if it just falls off?
Speaker 3:like it hooks on to like a tube. Yeah, it's like a one-shot baby, though they don't have like multiples, it's like that was your baby.
Speaker 3:and so when they, when we have to bottle feed them, so the nipples are about inside, or when you take them out of the pouch, if you have to take them out of the pouch, or like I had a friend of ours that's in the exotic business and he found a random roo in his pasture that the mom passed away, yes, and so he had to bottle feed, and I've had to bottle feed several, but the nipple is about four inches long and it's very skinny, tiny little two, so it can just kind of hang around in there. Well, yeah, and so what you have to do because you can really fuck up a roo if you don't know what you're doing when you bottle feed them and you have to properly let them suck it down like spaghetti noodle, just like they do the mama. So you can't just like you take a nipple and you put it in a baby's mouth. You can't do that. You have to letipple and you put it in a baby's mouth. You can't do that.
Speaker 2:You have to let them, because if not it's going to go in the wrong area, yeah, and then Aspiration in the lungs, no good for nobody.
Speaker 3:You know that because you're a math teacher. Yeah, exactly, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I just was blown away. I had no idea about that. Possums it's the same deal. I'm going to look it up. It's weird. I was like what are you watching? I'm like look at this this is how tiny they are.
Speaker 3:Well, that's how they can tell. If a roo is ready to come out of the pouch, be pulled out of the pouch if they need to for medical reasons, is by the color of the tail. Oh, if the pink, they get dark and they know it's not ready. Huh, yeah, it's like when you put a toothpick in the cake to see if it pulls out.
Speaker 1:But you wouldn't know that you have your drop shipped with babies in them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep, yeah fun fact, yeah.
Speaker 3:So kangaroo factoids today, kangaroo factoids and I do want to talk about a factoid too, before we, before we close up all the emotional emotions that we've had today. Um, I had. You know me and my animals. You and I have been best friends for a very, very long time. You've been through a shit ton of animals with me, I think from even with the turtle being my very first goat, which turtles my og. And if you want to know why I have a goat named turtle, it's because I am infatuated with dark chocolate turtles and turtles color scheme. It looks, he looks just like he's got the caramel he's got the dark chocolate.
Speaker 3:he's got the vanilla turtle. Looks just like a dark chocolate turtle, so hence that's where he got his name. But I had Animal Control show up at this undisclosed location. Real story, Real story. And last week.
Speaker 2:Yep, like somebody got out or there was a call. No, no.
Speaker 3:Anonymous. Listen to how ironic this is. You know I have my exotic license. You know that in the state of texas we have, and we're all very, very close. Well, not just in the state of texas, but us as cameleers, which is what you call people that own camels or that are whatever cameleers. All of us in we're a very tight group. Sure, um, anybody that owns exotics, we're a very tight group. We all know each other, we all communicate.
Speaker 1:We all do our research.
Speaker 3:Yes, we camels have to have a certain type of fecals that are taken. It's not just your normal, you go drop off a poop sample. You have to have what is called a Wisconsin modified. There's only I have several exotic vets Kenny Patton at country Hills, absolute freaking rockstar. Um.
Speaker 2:I've been here on shot day, yes.
Speaker 3:She was here doing the shots and doing all the things, yes, and I'm very, very, very anal about all. You know how I am. Well, ironically enough, Animal Control shows up at the undisclosed location and said we heard that she had a lemur.
Speaker 2:Really Fiona? Yeah, she does.
Speaker 3:Did y'all check the socials or what? So, whoever? They got an anonymous email that said I had a lemur. Well, anybody that knows me, anybody that follows me, anybody that's been at my resort, anybody that said I had a lemur. Well, anybody that knows me, anybody that follows me, anybody that's been at my resort, anybody that's been on my fourth which, anybody that's been to my house, anybody that's been anywhere with me, knows that there is going to be a four legged friend before there's going to be a two legged.
Speaker 3:There's no secret, any none whatsoever. You know that my animals are beyond taking care rotten word.
Speaker 3:You have babysat them. We have taken how many? To the beach house. We've taken albacore's, we've taken lemurs, we've taken roos, we've taken dogs, we've taken goats and cats. We've taken yes, we've taken everything. Yes, in ubers, we've thrown a goat in there Anything and everything. And so they pull up to the gate and said, yeah, there's a lemur in here, yeah. And so my guys were like, and what's the question? But no, yeah, so what? It doesn't live here, right? And so they went around the place and said said this has got to be the cleanest most well-taken group of animals we have ever, ever seen the best call we ever got seriously.
Speaker 3:they're like this is amazing. Well, here comes the irony of this whole thing, which I think is amazing. Born and raised local in new br Braunfels, my family owns the Wildlife Ranch here in town which I mean, come on now Also Also who, kenny Patton, takes care of Country Hills Vets.
Speaker 1:Exotic resources.
Speaker 3:Seriously, come on now. I have six veterinarians that take care of animals. And if there's not one that if we can't find an answer, we're going to A&M Right. When we had, I know people yes, my gosh. When we did the research for my kinkajous, when Riggie started breaking out in his allergic reaction, they were at the University of Florida, tennessee.
Speaker 2:They went to.
Speaker 3:This is a whole network of people that are National zoos to reach out to try to figure out what was causing this allergic reaction. The officer that came up here just so happened to be a girl that I went to school with our entire life. We grew up together, rochelle, best of friends. Her and I and you know me, I don't have girlfriends Her and I were inseparable from the time we were in kindergarten all the way through high school. It just so happened to be that the officer that came up here was her son, wow. And so I get a message that evening and she said hey, tiffany, I just want you to know that that was Hunter that came to your place today and he was so excited. These kids excited. These turned into a field trip. The whole family has been to the pumpkin patch. Yeah, they've seen, they've the petting zoo. They've met the animals from when they were little to now seeing them, some of them that are larger, mocha latte still not secrets no, and he was like mom, you should see how good the cows look.
Speaker 3:And blah, blah, blah, and Rochelle said the little ones got big yes, and she said Tiffany, oh my gosh, he was so excited to get this call and I was like, well, I was glad, he was fucking excited you should have said yeah, there's a wild lemur, See if you can catch him For real.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you go climb the tree to be kidding me. That's a good time. So I decided you know, I, I as many times that I sit and think about how vulnerable can you be and what do you share on the podcast and being you, as being you and um, I've opened up, like I said, the door to all of my emotions, to things that I up, like I said, the door to all of my emotions, to things that I I didn't think I would ever really want to share, but I really. Honestly, if you know me, I'm one of those that I want to watch people prosper.
Speaker 3:I want to help them as much as I can If it's an animal, if it's a person, if it's a child if it's yes, please let it. You feel it the same, and the fact that somebody would turn me in for having a lemur is so cute. Of all the things that turn you in for, it's so cute and adorable and I'm thinking my gosh Make mug shots Fiona has free roam of everything and anything. She has a 30-foot mansion of a kennel. I've seen it yeah, that she lives in that when we're not there for real, I make her scrambled eggs.
Speaker 2:She eats belgian waffles, for fuck's sake and now that you're not doing straws anymore, she's got free reign.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness seriously and I was thinking you. I just I wanted to share with everyone that, if you don't know, ask. Yeah, don't call the authorities, don't, don't don't do that.
Speaker 2:This is the wildest animal that needs controlling out. Here is this.
Speaker 3:First of all, can we talk about the persons that are run around on the plaza? Okay, can we talk about, yeah, those people, the people. Yeah, fiona has a wardrobe closet, I've seen it. Steiner has a wardrobe closet. Now I mean come on now, okay, I was just like you've got to be.
Speaker 2:That's how you threaten steiner, do you want to? See how your cousins live how your brothers and sisters live.
Speaker 3:She just went to Curtis's bar in Fredericksburg and Bubba and Courtney said you guys have got to come out here. And they were like what's the holdup? I said Steiner cannot pick out her skirt. She's got three to choose from.
Speaker 2:Dress her and she just doesn't even give her options me and I'm like do you want the pink one with the frowning just put?
Speaker 3:it on. Oh my god, for real. So yeah, so we had to go. She had to do pictures with the mardi gras purse and what have you down there and she looks so cute. She had so much fun she had. So much fun. Yeah, so the top in fredericksburg curt, curtis Montalvo, great dude, shelby his wife, amazing people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and we're going to go and do.
Speaker 3:But what's really cool is they've got this entire backyard area where you can sit down and relax your kids can go play it's fenced in. I can't wait. Yeah, so you don't have to worry. They've got games and stuff for the kids. They were so excited Steiner just had a ball. Yeah, yeah, I'm in. I'm here for it. Live music it's a great time Plan something fun Food trips. It's a beautiful road trip, it's so good. But yeah, um one of our own from New Braunfels expanding to watching him grow and his wife is just a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3:It was really really cool.
Speaker 2:It was fun to hear that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's all the drama that has happened with me here lately.
Speaker 2:I think that's enough for a little bit. Yeah, I'm going to try to squeeze in some more fun, okay.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you want to throw some drama at me or something you know, I don't know, you might have to check the calendar.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And see if I have room for any more.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I, if I'm, going to have enough time.
Speaker 3:Oh, look here, you want to talk about the word of the day. You got a word of the day. This is so perfect Because I had Sean Hart. Oh yeah, so good. Yes, about his novel that he wrote and it is extraordinary. Got to check it out. But it was just not the time to do the word of the day because everything was so serious.
Speaker 2:But I think today is a very appropriate today, appropriate to share the word of the day, and today the word of the day is pooling, pooling, pooling.
Speaker 3:Shit talking, it is a person who speaks fluent shit and today I feel like that is appropriate Pooling yes, okay, I spoke a lot of fluent Pooh-lingual. Yes, okay, I spoke a lot of fluent shit last week when the ACO showed up. And then to come to find out it's a child that I've watched grow up and friends of family and blah, blah, blah. That way you learn, yeah, and I don't know, and I will make sure that we post a picture if you know anything about Fiona. Fiona has a permanent finger that stays like this sticky uppy one.
Speaker 3:It's a sticky up, and so we're gonna show a picture of fiona and her sticky uppy finger to the person that sent yeah, we'll get her um and I know you'll be the one to find when you go digging for your treasures. Get her some stripy outfits. She's going to need the black and white one. A little number, maybe some little orange slippers or something of that kind. Maybe some little orange Crocs. Exactly.
Speaker 2:McDonald's has those in a Happy Meal.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine if Fiona had to have commissary Girl?
Speaker 2:I can't even afford that commissary, for real.
Speaker 3:That's when you need to turn people in. Fiona didn't even know what the word commissary is. Come on now, if her raspberries aren't plump.
Speaker 2:Or chilled. They've been sitting there too long, seriously. We have to put them in mason jars so they stay fresh.
Speaker 3:They do stay fresh, and it does work If you guys do not know, or if you don't have a lemur that you're not supposed to have, or whatever that is.
Speaker 2:Whatever, you have A goldfish, for that matter, at your undisclosed location, for fuck's sake.
Speaker 3:I cannot with people, don't even get me started. I know I'm sorry for that Seriously, but put your fruit in a mason jar. Hey, don't let a link on the website Please inquire within Mm-hmm. Yep. The email address is fuckoffatfoyfarmcom. Capital F. And yeah, capital F. It is. Yeah, yep, so I love that for you. Well, I hope you eat the baby, or not swallow it, or find it. Don't swallow it or find it, or whatever. Don't swallow it. One of the things.
Speaker 2:I hope you get some cake.
Speaker 3:Hope you get to save me a piece or something. See, some beads, I don't know. We have a whole afternoon of things. We got to go take my mom. We finally got the frames for her pictures for Christmas, so we're going to go swing them by her salon and go take those to her and surprise her this afternoon. So maybe we'll just come and surprise you too, sounds good. It was so good to see you. Happy Fat Tuesday. I can't believe you didn't wipe my tears. Look what I did to this thing all by myself.
Speaker 2:I know you're real serious about your skin care. I don't want to like fuck it up, I know because you're rough it's a thing.
Speaker 3:And if y'all don't know the reason why, uh, the tour is called spf 90 tour, it's because of kel, because we have to add this in here. Okay, the reason that it's called spf 90 tour is because, yes, I am very serious about my skincare. Learned this way too late in my life. Y'all, sunblock is a fucking thing. It is your phone sunblock. If you're on the pewters all day, boop, put the sunblock on there. There's these lights of things, yes, that are shining. That should not be shining on you.
Speaker 3:Anyways, put the sunblocks on, yes, so Kel and I go on. Kel teaches me to be patient and to take time off. Look up, and we're on the Tritune and we're going to take a little day, we're going to cruise around, we're going to solve Warren's problems and I keep a bag that I take on the boat and it stays packed all the time, and so I have a deodorant stick of face block and I am allergic to the mineral block. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I am driving and I'm scooting along and Kel, of course y'all know she's serious about her music, so she's jacking around with our sound system and trying to get our music going. And I turn around and she goes what in the fuck is on your face? And I was like what do you mean? There's no mirrors on the boat. I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:And I was like I just put my sunblock on my face.
Speaker 3:She looks like a mime, so white and so she's trying to fix it, and as she's rubbing it in, I can feel my face melting Like she is, like it's you know, when your mom it wasn't coming off. Well, when your mom licks your finger and does all that with you on steroids. But it's worse and I feel like you're rubbing my whole skin off. I'm like cal stop, I mean, I'm not aging.
Speaker 3:I'm not getting any younger I mean, yeah, I am aging by the minute and I was like, oh my god, I've just got so many wrinkles.
Speaker 2:You had to put some vodka on the rag.
Speaker 3:That was a different trip that was no, that was when we were on the island and we did the same thing. Same shit happens, different boat different location. We had Nikki with us and same deal. I'm downstairs, the girls come walking down the stairs, I'm taking them out on the boat, we're going to go fishing, and and yep and she. I turn around and once again she was like what in the fuck? You have this shit here too.
Speaker 2:How serious is this shit here too. How serious is down here?
Speaker 3:we haven't been here in a year and I was like, clearly my sunblocks old, so I once again I look like a fucking idiot that got in a fight with zinc oxide. You were very serious, yeah, and so we're driving anybody gonna fuck with that?
Speaker 3:girl. We're going to baffin bay, which is 75 miles out, and my hair is slapping on my face and it is stuck, so now I look like I got in a fight with the worst spider web. I couldn't get it off and all we had was um Nikki's cucumber, melon vodka and so we put my white piece in my toolbox were dried, and so I saturated a dried white white bead with vodka and continued to, uh, try to remove the spackle, the yes off my face and then put on some regular sunblock, that.
Speaker 3:But anywho, that was a good time, that is, and so the joke continued on as we uh talked about our prom that we had that we will be redoing every year. And first annual. We did our first annual prom and then our SPF 90 tour and that's where it all stimulated from is from me and my Facebook. Do you want sticks? Real stories, yes and so, and I clearly don't look or care to rub it in or whatever, clearly it wasn't clear.
Speaker 3:Look, I don't want any more sun spots. Okay so, but yeah, SPF 90. Spf 90 tour yeah, coming soon. Stay tuned for that. Yeah, yeah. So I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me. I love you.
Speaker 3:What a treat, love you and and um, we're gonna book you some flights so you can come in and out and you definitely got to get the uh louisiana hit with us.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, sure, a thousand percent yeah or you.
Speaker 3:Just we should probably just stick kelly on the bus and then just fly her out whenever you're ready, here we go. We got points. Okay, you know she's gonna try to give me the drive well, I love you, love you cut I put a blessing on it.
Speaker 1:See me dripping in it 24 7 on it. I'm just being honest. Holy water dripping, dripping from my neck to my crap. Song q stepping on it.