The Rambling Gypsy

From Boots to Beats: Meet Monroe

• The Rambling Gypsy • Season 3 • Episode 16

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0:00 | 1:22:02

Tiff sits down with Monroe to talk about his incredible journey from military service to sound engineering, exploring themes of resilience, transformation, and the importance of community. This candid conversation highlights the challenges of transitioning to civilian life and the power of humor and therapy in healing. 🫶

✨ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS ✨

• Monroe shares insights from his military background
• Discusses challenges faced while integrating into civilian life
• Highlights the importance of community and collaboration in sound engineering
• The healing power of laughter and therapy in navigating trauma
• Plans for future adventures and dreams of living in Belize

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Music: “Blessed” by NAEMS
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Merch (coming soon): https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique

Talk With Tiff here: https://www.tiffanyfoy.com/talk-with-tiff

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Find Tiff:
Website: https://tiffanyfoy.com
Instagram: / gypsymammatiff  
Facebook: / gypsymammatiff  
TikTok: / gypsymammatiff

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Production: SIREN Studio

The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.

Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/

Breaking Rules

Speaker 1

I put a blessing on it too real, that's not metaphoric. We just put the I in iconic, buzzing like I'm electronic. Ah yeah, I put a blessing on it. See me dripping in it 24-7 on it. I'm just being honest. Ah, holy water dripping, dripping from my neck to my crap.

Speaker 2

So I'm too stepping on it like we're rolling, so we're good. We're good, we're going to talk about some things. Oh shit I don no, I'm clear what we're going to talk about. We're going to talk about it.

Speaker 3

So this is a place I can't plead the fifth right.

Speaker 2

No.

Speaker 3

Okay.

Speaker 2

You can plead anything you want to, but it ain't going to work, you can plead, you can pray. You can do that too, it doesn't matter. Hey everybody, I'm Tiffany Foy. Welcome to the Ramblin' Gypsy Podcast, and we are in my she again, and I have a another set of balls in here and I know, I said that I was never going to ever do that, but clearly I've broken my own rule and, um, everybody's break the rules.

Speaker 3

This break the rules. This is Monroe. Hi, hi, thanks for having me.

Speaker 2

Ma'am, thank you for being here.

Speaker 3

I am very excited this is going to be interesting it is going to be really interesting.

Speaker 2

In fact, right before we just got started, um, you and I've known each other for a long minute Different venues, different avenues, different places, different scenarios, so to speak and you just said that you were shy.

Speaker 3

I am, believe it or not, I am.

Speaker 2

I don't believe it. No, so I don't at all.

Speaker 3

No, so you know I get a little bit liquid in me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, liquid courage.

Speaker 3

If I'm in a in me, you know if I'm in a crowd, you know in a crowd, you know it doesn't matter, you know. But you put me on a stage, you put me on a camera, oh, you know it, just it's. I don't like eyes. Yeah, you know, in a crowd, it doesn't matter. I like to be the loud guy, I like to be the, I like the shock, because you hear some of the stuff.

Speaker 2

I say, yeah oh yeah, but but to actually like, just to stand on stage so well, for so we've gotten along so well for so long.

Speaker 3

So, yeah, this is just new to me. I mean, this is actually my second podcast, and the first one was supposed to talk about wrestling.

Speaker 2

Really.

Speaker 3

But we talked about hammer toes for about two hours.

Speaker 2

Oh my lord, yeah, that sounds like a conversation that I need to have with Creed Fisher, and we are going to talk about that again when I am next on the show. That one's for you, buddy. That one was for you. You're welcome, monroe. You know Creed.

Speaker 3

It wasn't your hammer toast. It wasn't your hammer toast, I promise.

Speaker 2

Oh, thank God, Because that is a whole. That is a whole nother show. That's at least a two hour episode. Oh my, my god. Now my cheeks are red and we haven't even talked about anything yet.

Speaker 2

Wait a way this is why I love you so good this is so good, but yeah, um, that's so you being shy in this situation. Um, it was really weird when we first started the podcast and you know, steve trevino is comedian, renee his wife, very good friends of mine, and that's they're the ones that talked me into doing this and, um, when we first started the podcast, it was very, it was very weird for me. Like I could sit and shoot the shit and talk and have conversations in big crowds or small crowds or just one-on-one, but then you stick all these lights and these cameras in front of you and in in the porch that I built. I mean, it's a very narrow little area and those cameras were literally right in front of your face.

Speaker 2

I was like holy shit. And then I would, I would start practicing. And then it was like um, thinking about topics, and what about this person? What about that person? And you know, steve and them, they've they figured it out. I mean, obviously he's, he's clearly not shy, but um, he, uh, he. We sat down and we got to talking about it and he said you need to, you need to stop, you're thinking way too freaking hard Like this is absolutely not you. And and I and I sat and I listened to him and I listened to everything that he was saying and I thought you know, you're right. And so since then it's been a complete game changer for me, where I don't I, I couldn't tell you from the moment of us talking about bringing you on the show and what we're going to talk about, or I just I don't even. And it's been so good.

Transitioning From Military to Music Industry

Speaker 2

And it's been, so it's been so fun for me.

Speaker 3

I'm a huge fan. I've watched so many. I mean I didn't know what it was until you brought Mags and Ditto on, and then I watched that one, then I watched the Uno Rios one, and then you brought Jungle.

Speaker 1

And so.

Speaker 3

I'm kind of, I'm a fangirl.

Speaker 2

Thank you Right.

Speaker 3

So I've watching all of them. You know, and it's just, you're infectious, you really are, you're just.

Speaker 2

I mean, I know you personally, you know, but here I just you're infectious, thank you. That makes me feel good Now my cheeks are really red twice, From head to hammer toes. Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh my God. No, you're not. That's so freaking good. I cannot wait to elaborate on this whole thing. This episode? Yeah, there it is. We just nailed it yeah, head to hammer toes. So let's tell everybody who's Monroe, tell everybody who are you. What do you do? I mean, I know what you do, oh well, I'm a retired vet.

Speaker 3

I did 20 years in the military, got out of the military, did a lot of questionable things.

Speaker 2

Uh-huh.

Speaker 3

And hooked up with a guy who was doing sound. And you know, even though I'm old, I still have that 14-year-old. I want to be a rock star.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

But I can't sing, I can't play an instrument. To save my life, so I hooked up with this guy who was running sound. I'm like holy cow, I like it, mm-. It saved my life, so I hooked up with this guy who was running sound. I'm like holy cow, I like it. So I started doing that for a while and then finally I went, got my degree in music business, audio engineering.

Speaker 2

This is after you got out of the military.

Speaker 3

This is after the military and a couple of years of bad decisions.

Speaker 2

So when you got out of the military and like I've had a lot of conversations with Ditto and Jungle and you know the whole group and Legacy and and known so many of them for for a long minute and um, were you completely lost? Were you, were you scared, were you was like becoming a fool on coming out of the military and being a just a civilian. I mean, did you know? I mean, were you? You came right out and you, obviously you said you made several years of bad decisions. I know a couple of them that are about to come out of the military and they're scared fucking shitless.

Speaker 3

Definitely. For 20 years I've had a structured way of life. Get up at four PT.

Speaker 2

Because they structured that for you. And so then you come out and it's like what the fuck? What do I do?

Speaker 3

It's utter chaos. And even with nothing to do, because I'm retired, I have no job, it's utter chaos because I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go, I don't know how to act.

Speaker 2

And the military doesn't say by the way, Monroe, you leave on Friday, You're done, and this is what we think that you should do, or this is what we suggest that you or do, they don't. You don't have like a year prior to where they start prepping you for this kind of stuff.

Speaker 1

They do have programs that help you transition you know, but no matter how much planning that you do.

Speaker 3

You know it's usually. You know the transition starts. That last year.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 3

But for 20 years you've known structure, You've known what to wear, Mm-hmm. You know we don't have to pick out our outfits, the simple things.

Speaker 2

We don't have to pick out our outfits that we all take for granted. Yeah See, I would have never thought yeah, that would have been one of the first.

Speaker 3

It was just difficult. So I numbed myself with things, things, and it took me about a couple of years and, holy crap, I got kids. I can't do this.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 3

So kind of fell in. You know, believe it or not, I actually started school to be a radiologist.

Speaker 2

Really yeah, nice.

Speaker 3

And I took A&P and I'm like, oh hell, no, yeah, what's a for Raymond? I mean yeah.

Speaker 2

So I went into the music program. That's a real big one.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so here I am.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so now I run sound for whoever hired me.

Speaker 2

Right, and how long was that whole process?

Speaker 3

I mean I've been doing it. How hard did you? Have to fall when you came out after those two years I'm still falling, I'm still falling. I fell every day. Yeah, you know, but if you don't fail, you're not learning. So, um, you know, I thought I was doing pretty good and I met my really good friend. His name is jack rabbit j J-Rab for short.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And he was actually a tour manager for someone that we both know Mm-hmm, anyway. But he came out to a show I was doing in Unaria several years ago and I thought I was doing pretty good and he's like okay, it sounds good, but let me show you something, yeah. So he started showing me things. Well, I didn't know I could do that, right, I didn't know I could do that. I didn't know I could do that Right, so it humbled me real quick. So I don't pretend I know everything.

Speaker 2

How did you take that, as a man and a big ego and being in the military, I mean, did you take that?

Speaker 3

I took it very well, believe it or not, because he's been doing this for 40 years Because of a respect issue with him. Yeah, it's just he's been doing it for 40 years. He obviously him. Yeah, it's just he's been doing it for 40 years he obviously knows a lot more than I do, so shut up and listen, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

Speaker 2

It wasn't like and a lot of people will take that and I feel like I can never learn enough in aspects of everything, everything and anything, and I ask a lot of questions. And if I run into a scenario and I'm completely lost, or run into a scenario and I'm completely lost or and I'm in a dispute or a whatever, a confrontation or just any scenario, and and I'm thinking, you know, I, I really feel like I'm right in this and then I think, well, maybe am I. And so then I go to Nick, or I go to close people that are with me that know me very, very well, and I'll say, will you look at this and tell me I mean people that are with me that know me very, very well. And I'll say, well, you look at this and tell me. I mean, do am I?

Speaker 2

Just straight up, tell me, am I in the wrong here? Am I the jackass, am I the one that's being completely unreasonable, or but? And they'll, straight up, they know, tell me and I'll take it. And then I'll. And because I want to learn the same thing with therapy, I feel like I can never have enough therapy. Yeah, but it takes a lot for someone yourself to take somebody that even if the guy had five years experience versus the 40, would you have.

Speaker 3

Well, the thing is, you know, 20 years I was military Right.

Speaker 3

You know, and in the audio engineering, I'm an infant. I'm an infant, I'm an infant. I need people to show me right, because school only teaches you so much, right? You know, it teaches you the basics, blah, blah. But how do you do this? I did right, so I need people to teach me and I'm not one to press off. You've been doing this, you know, even if I don't know you right. If it sounds like a good idea, okay, cool, you know, let me try this, let me try this Right. And then there's some suggestions.

Speaker 3

I'm like kick rocks dude you know so but you know, this being the brothels, how many musicians do we have here, how many venues do we have here, how many sound people do we have here? And what I love about this community is we all talk, we all communicate, we all help each other out. You know, um, you know this, this Thursday, you know that I was asked to do a show, but Thursdays are my date nights with my wife. So this other guy got the gig, but he needed a soundboard. So I gave him my soundboard here. This other guy got the gig, but he needed a soundboard, so I gave him my soundboard here.

Speaker 2

You know I love that. It's just. You know, you feel a lot of that, don't you scotty? Oh, yeah, you can't mean.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's community yeah, I mean one thing I love and I appreciate the musician part and the sound part and and the videographer part and the yeah, and all the parts.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you play a lot of roles.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but one thing, and it's kind of stuck with me amateurs compete, professionals collaborate, so I like to think of myself as a professional. So I'm not trying to knock anyone out of anything.

Speaker 2

Amateurs compete.

Speaker 3

Professionals collaborate.

Speaker 2

Professionals collaborate. I really like that. That's what I try to do Thatessionals collaborate, professionals collaborate. I really like that.

Speaker 3

That's what I try to do.

Speaker 2

That is very strong. I like those statements.

Speaker 3

I think it was on my toilet paper.

Speaker 2

I don't care. Did you put that one aside and now wipe your ass with it? You know? At least take a screenshot of it. I guess it doesn't matter If it's stuck, it's stuck. Mean, I guess it doesn't matter if it's stuck, it's stuck. We're not going to talk about where it's stuck, but at least it's stuck.

Speaker 3

I love that.

Speaker 2

That's so good, that's so good.

Speaker 3

Because I remember when I first started I didn't know shit from Chicago, you know.

Speaker 2

I feel like that, just about things in life in general, which I have that conversation with a lot of the kids that have worked for me or people that have crossed my.

Speaker 3

I call it a love bank. I like to make deposits into my love bank. Eventually I'm going to have to make a withdrawal. So I'm just always trying to put deposits into my love bank because I may need to have a withdrawal someday somewhere.

Life Lessons and Military Beginnings

Speaker 2

So that's what I try to. You're like a little monk, Can you Way too? I don't even know if we can say Indian style. I know I feel like we should all. Whatever I can't do that. I'm going to cramp? Yeah, I'm going to throw out a hip or some shit. It's about to happen.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I'm with you.

Speaker 2

I've had all the surgeries. Yeah, so Nick's going to have a stroke? Yeah, I mean literally. I did a deal and hiked my legs she's like stop doing this, I'm gonna send the video to your doctor. And I was like don't be god, you're so mean why are you yelling at me? No dude, look at you, just full of inspiration.

Speaker 3

I like that I've faced a lot of adversity and I was in therapy for 13 years.

Speaker 2

Oh, I've been. I am 51 years old and I've been in there since the day I came out and I am going strong.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but you know, like you know, before we started I told you, you know, before 06, I was an introvert, you know. And then what happened in 06, it just opened my eyes. You know tomorrow's not promised, you know. Then what happened in 06, it just opened my eyes, you know tomorrow's not promised, you know yeah so live your life, yeah, and treat people the way you want to be treated, you know, and lift people up. Putting people down does nothing.

Speaker 2

It doesn't nothing doesn't make you feel better no, there's a lot of people there. I mean there's yeah, boy, do I? That's a whole nother column.

Speaker 3

There's people I love to slap on the daily, oh yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I got a whole list of them. Yeah, yeah, and there's a couple I have bapped in the back of the head.

Speaker 3

Oh, yeah, Just like I said my love bank. Eventually, I'm going to need a withdrawal.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's what made you decide to go into the military.

Speaker 3

I lived in very small town, west Virginia.

Speaker 2

Really Very small town West Virginia Like this small. Do you even know what that means? No black people, no Mexican people. No, this means it was bigger than that, then no stop signs no nothing, no, nothing, my graduating class was 52 people. Oh, you all lived on the same block.

Speaker 3

Well, Aunt Grandma and Uncle Grandpa. No stop signs, no nothing. My graduating class was 52 people. Oh, you all lived on the same block. Well, Aunt Grandma and Uncle Grandpa.

Speaker 2

They used to have, you know, three houses.

Speaker 3

Uncle Grandpa, yes, Aunt Grandma and Uncle Grandpa. Right, yeah, right, but no, it was just a very small town.

Speaker 2

That one's for you.

Speaker 3

Uncle Becca, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

We had a choice Cold mines or meth. Pick one yeah.

Speaker 3

Cold mines or meth. Wow, I didn't want to do either. So, believe it or not, my cousin, he joined the military and he's like hey, dude, if you join the military I get promoted before you go to basic training. So my dad was a professional educator.

Speaker 2

So it was like a buy one, get one, Kind of sort of yeah, so my dad wouldn't sign because I was 17.

Speaker 3

My dad wouldn't sign for me to go, so my mom was like hell, yeah, so behind my your dad would not. Oh, my dad would not, but mom's like hell yeah. So mom went behind dad's back.

Speaker 2

Why was your dad so against it?

Speaker 3

Because my dad was a and he thought she'd go to college.

Speaker 2

He thought she'd do this Okay.

Speaker 3

So, but yeah, so graduated June, went to basic training in August.

Speaker 2

Really yeah. And your mom was like get the hell out of here, yeah.

Speaker 3

Get out of here. Get out of here, get out of here. Get out of yourself.

Speaker 2

Make something Siblings. Do you have siblings?

Speaker 3

I have two. I have an older sister and I'm very honest when I say this. She lives in Big Ugly, West Virginia.

Speaker 2

Okay, that's a town.

Speaker 3

Big Ugly Talk to the wife.

Speaker 2

She'll tell you oh, it is real. Yeah, that's what it's called.

Speaker 3

Big Ugly, West Virginia. Yes.

Speaker 2

Why are they so mean to that place?

Speaker 3

Because it's on Big Ugly Creek, so it's Big.

Speaker 2

Ugly.

Speaker 3

Wow it's almost like woman. I have a younger sister.

Speaker 2

Older, younger, and then you, I'm the baby, I'm the baby. Oh, okay, I'm the middle. You're the middle. Yes, I'm the middle, but I was mommy's baby I was the only boy. You're the boy.

Speaker 3

I was mama's baby.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

I was mama's boy.

Speaker 2

But she shipped you. She was like yeah, I'm shipping you, you knew what was up, yeah but I did no wrong in that woman's eyes oh, that's, that's a boy, mom right there I want to tell you how bad it was.

Speaker 3

She used to de-bone and de-skin my chicken. I never ate chicken from a bone ever I know several people like that I'll join the military and I'm in basic training and they serve me chicken on a bone. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? Yeah, no, shit. Right, so I got a quarter. I can put in here, but I was that spoiled. I was that spoiled.

Speaker 2

Grown ass man with a cup of 3-4 hair on your balls and she's still deep boning your chicken. Yep, mama.

Speaker 1

But she sent you off. She knew what it would take to put hair in your mouth.

Feet and Beards

Speaker 2

Yeah, she knew what it would take to put hair. Yeah, she knew what it was going to take for you to eat off that damn bone.

Feet and Beards

Speaker 3

Let's get your ass in the military.

Speaker 2

So yeah, that's how I joined so is your wife deboning your chicken no, wait a minute. Once I retired, I found someone to debone for me we have a deboner. Wow, wow, my cheeks are.

Speaker 3

We're gonna need to darken these cameras this is how the hammer toe shit came up, yeah shit, freaking hammer toe deboning check-in.

Speaker 2

This is okay, anyways. Yeah, so does she no, no, no.

Speaker 3

So we have 20 years in the army and no one there to debone or de-skin my chicken. I've learned to eat chicken, yeah yeah, I still want to eat grits I still want to eat oatmeal, but I'll do my own chicken yeah, I'm not, I'm just gonna stop I know the writing is all over the marquee on my forehead.

Speaker 2

I don't want to talk about your boner in the military and if you had, it's a bee boner, it's not one.

Speaker 3

Well, I mean, you know, I did three years in the desert.

Speaker 2

And having a boner in the desert is weird, so yeah, you know the only place to take care of it was the Port of Johns.

Speaker 3

They had 127 degrees and ew, so you learn to get rid of them.

Speaker 2

Yeah, they're talking about a sea boner. Yeah yeah, 127 degrees shitter, yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, that got cleaned once a week, by the way, so Alrighty, then, so you just go in and you lose it right away.

Speaker 2

Yeah, everything was so high in the sky until this is going to probably be one of my most favorite episodes ever we made it past 10. I mean, I'm not sure about the cussing.

Speaker 3

Oh yeah, no, but that's I'm so trying not to cuss oh, I don't, I can't they.

Speaker 2

They have like bloopers and bleepers that they throw out. But I'm just trying to be I'm so proud of you, but you do know it's me you're talking to. Yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 3

Well, so fucking relax yeah, but I don't know what fucking audience is going to be watching this fucking thing. I know.

Speaker 2

We have the E on all the things, yeah.

Speaker 3

Okay, cool.

Speaker 2

Yeah, because my favorite word is called it yeah exactly, yeah, wait till you get my Christmas card. It's adorable oh dude, so you're sounding sound engineering.

Speaker 3

Yes, I got a frat party this weekend, so a couple months ago this band came into Billy's and I did sound for them, Mm-hmm. And so earlier this football season I worked with Riverbottom Sounds and Entertainment.

Speaker 2

First of all, I just realized that your mic was not part of your. I thought you had the rubber band on.

Speaker 3

Well, he thought that I would look good in pink. He said it brought up my eyes.

Speaker 2

It's good, but I thought it was your.

Speaker 1

Beautiful accent piece.

Speaker 2

I thought it was.

Speaker 3

Oh, no, dude, I used to have a, really long one I'll get to that one, I'll go ahead and tell it now. So I had a really really decent sized beard, yeah, and my current wife has never seen me without a beard. So one Sunday I wake up and I shave completely Completely.

Speaker 2

Why, first of all?

Speaker 3

Because she'd never seen me.

Speaker 2

So you just wanted to be a.

Speaker 3

So this hooker, I love her to death. She's like well shit, wake up with a husband and go to bed with a boy toy.

Speaker 1

Well hooker.

Speaker 3

She was deboning your chicken. She was deboning my chicken.

Speaker 2

She was deboning Yep One piece at a time. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3

So, but no, while back this.

Speaker 1

Was this after y'all had already tied the knot?

Speaker 3

Yeah, so she hadn't seen your face.

Speaker 1

Ever, ever, ever After tying the knot, dude.

Speaker 3

She saw all four of these shits For the first time All four of them, but she thought I looked young enough, so you passed Abby. Yeah, so yeah yeah, so how'd that go? I mean, what happened? I woke up with the husband going to bed with a boy toy. Oh my goodness we luckily we didn't have a kid that weekend.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 3

We uh Bow chicken bow Wow. Kind of like a pinky the way I bang on every piece of furniture in the house.

Speaker 2

Okay, all right, then that's a good. So mark the territory, that's nice, that's good. Nothing that a little pledge can't take care of. Yeah, yeah, and a couple of microfibers what?

Speaker 1

like a fundraiser. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2

Then there's that might need to go fund me or something I don't know after that no, luckily, luckily I gotta start a pledge campaign.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but no, luckily, I mean, the VA gives me all the Viagra I need.

Speaker 2

So good thing you got a backup stash there you go, that is a good one so then she said grow back, or are you just like no?

Speaker 3

I didn't like it, so I started growing it back and she wanted me to keep it short and I was like, no, I want it back because you know I used to put like so many rubber bands and you know I just missed that my dad shaved his beard one time um, and I won't I.

Speaker 2

I'm still traumatized for him. It was just like oh then my daughter devastated my daughter.

Speaker 3

She's like dad. You look like a pedophile.

Speaker 2

I've never seen his face I never nothing and I was like what is all that? Yeah, I mean we're yeah, yeah, it was. I was devastated, yeah, it literally broke my heart like I it just no my dad's beard. Until he crossed the I mean his it was always just perfect and groomed and yeah it's just, you know, I joined the army at 17, 20 years, yeah.

Speaker 3

So I didn't get to live in my 20s, I didn't get to Right. So I'm an old, old man now, but I'm living my 20s now I'm doing the dumbest shit you could think of.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm right there with you. I'm right there with you, but luckily I got married to this one and she really calmed me down.

Speaker 3

I'm still doing dumb shit, but not as dumb, yeah, you know. So she's actually put years on my life, thank God.

Speaker 2

That's good. I mean it took a couple.

Speaker 3

She's number five.

Speaker 2

I have this I got a couple, two, three, whatever.

Speaker 3

Who's counting?

Speaker 2

I'm not.

Speaker 3

I damn sure I'm not. I have no one to count. I was trying to get a little WNBA team together.

Speaker 2

We might need an extra hammer toe to start counting all of our baggage around here. Oh my God, yeah, you never know. Hammer toes. Two hammers are better than one, but part of it.

Speaker 3

You can never have enough tools If you're wearing high heels and you got that one pinky toe sticking out and it comes across and crosses over that toe. Come on.

Speaker 2

Like it's having a conversation. Yeah, you know no.

Speaker 3

Come on.

Speaker 2

You need to put that up, I mean seriously.

Speaker 1

How could any other topic be in the conversation?

Speaker 3

No, but I'm a firm believer in yoga pants or yoga shorts, whatever, and open-toed shoes should be a privilege, not a right. I'm that dude.

Speaker 2

So is Creed Fisher. Yeah, we had a whole family event on about feet.

Speaker 3

Is this one of the episodes? Oh, no, it's going to be. This was after.

Speaker 2

Can I sit over there?

Speaker 3

when it happens. Oh yes, absolutely For the live studio.

Speaker 2

He was yeah, he was live on his little deal, because he gets on and and talks to the world and all of his audience on the daily and and yeah, and he was talking about something and I chimed in nick and I were doing something, whatever, and I typed in there and he was like okay, all right, gypsy, you're just not gonna let me ever live this down. I was like fuck, no, fuck, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1

Are you kidding?

Speaker 2

You threw the biggest temper tantrum I've ever seen over feet and it was freaking hilarious.

Speaker 3

But I'm that dude, creed. I'm with you, boy, I'm with you, dude, I'm with you. I got you boo.

Speaker 2

This is so good. I feel like we need to do like feet stamps, walking up there like, oh my god, oh my god, yeah disgusted no, it's no, yeah, no, yeah, oh, my god, you're on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're on the mag side no, if they're pretty feet, I will suck toes all day.

Speaker 2

See, there we go, here we go.

Speaker 3

But no, but if, then I need to have Creed. If it looks like I'm going to have Creed.

Speaker 2

Mags and Monroe.

Speaker 1

We're doing a whole panel.

Speaker 2

Yes, you know we'll do it like the Ellen DeGeneres deal. When she does her things and it's like truth or dare or yes or no when she does the thing and you have to turn it around and it says yes or no, we're going to make foot panels, we're going to put them on tongue depressors.

Speaker 3

If your toes look like you've thrown up gang signs, come on oh that's bad.

Speaker 2

That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3

That, oh, that's bad. That's from that's hammer toes. That's hammer toes. Those are.

Speaker 2

Neanderthals.

Speaker 3

Yeah, those are. If you could, if you could pull trout out of a lake, if you can slice a.

Speaker 2

If your feet are singing? No, you got to do it. Those hammer toes, Hammer toes no, you got to do it If you like.

Speaker 3

Sebastian, am I wrong Look?

Feet Hygiene and Personal Grooming

Speaker 2

Come on, manes Klocko is one of my favorite humans in the world. I'm obsessed with this man and his family because he is such a realist and the stuff that he talks about is literally. I have never missed one of his shows. I've seen him multiple times in Vegas and any time he's in Texas Never missed one. But he talks about when he walks in and it's a guest deal and his wife's got people and so he's, he's he doesn't like people. And he goes in there and the guy says you, you have to take your shoes off in the house. And he's like what? I mean? He? He says that we're standing in the kitchen and he says, and it looks down, and the guy was asking a random question. He said well, the first question we should be talking about is your feet. I mean, do you just walk around like this? And he said, and he sticks his toe up and he said it looked like you could slice a nice piece of provolone, would you do that?

Speaker 2

so now is he, not only now and I'm a visual because so disgusting, yes, and I'm such a visual person and I'm thinking, oh my god, and it took the whole cheese toast thing to a whole new fucking level for me and I'm like it just you know I've been a biker forever.

Speaker 3

I will pull in biker at all and I will get a pedicure well, yeah, as you should I just?

Speaker 2

yes yeah yes, no, it's. It is very, very important. Me and cal are very we're. We're all about our toes.

Speaker 3

We go, we go not even just the toes. You say you know you're walking through damn heb walmart and you got all these chicks in their flip-flops and the black heels. They got cracks in them and looks like they got soles on their feet, Not their shoes on their feet.

Speaker 2

That's why there's a whole industry that's called Walmart feet.

Speaker 3

That's a. Thing.

Speaker 2

It is a thing Mighty Soul taught me about that.

Speaker 1

This is the thing, though it is a thing when you say that we probably all see the exact same image in our head.

Speaker 2

Yes, I've never heard of it. It's walmart. Exactly what walmart?

Speaker 2

I'm sorry, but this is the world according to monroe okay, I see shit that people don't see oh, I am that person, you know, I mean oh, I see why you and I are kind of yes, oh, believe me, I see it, I see it and I'm the first one is I can't shut up well, no, yeah I can't shut up yeah, uh, nick is notorious for telling me well, I, my whole thing is I, and I will be the first one to say I need to go take a lap, because I know what's about to happen, I know what's about to come out of my mouth, I know what's about to look.

Speaker 2

That's about just come right out of my face. And then she sees both of them. She's like you know what you need to, before we all end up in a bad situation, you need to go take a lap. In fact, then she'll send me, not even say take a lap, she'll be like you need to go, and she'll send me like on a damn scavenger hunt and shit. Yeah, and I fall for it. Okay, I'll go get him down, let me go.

Speaker 3

If I give you the look it's like is your birth, she's like thank god she fell for that shit yeah that's also another great title for this episode you know, but it's just, you just dude, like for real. Yeah, you actually walked out of your house like thinking that you're okay uh-huh, the fuck is wrong with you.

Speaker 2

What is wrong with your people? Do you not have a mirror? Do you not have friends? Why have they let you do this?

Speaker 3

I don't know who to shame them or them. Basic personal hygiene is so rare nowadays. So you nasty motherfucker.

Speaker 2

I can't 'm sorry, no, no, no, believe me, I have. Uh, I could tell you a million stories about the things that we see at the resort. Or, oh my god, the thing that, yeah, you won't talk about walmart for you, you should talk about their swimmies that they have on, oh, guadalupe, yeah, it's even worse. How long, I can't. I need to watch my room, you know, april said it was coming down a lot.

Speaker 3

The what?

Speaker 2

The Guadalupes. It's what they get in. You know, they paddle, they paddle. Do you need a? Yeah, they don't need to cut With their yellow nails. They don't need to roll with their fungicides, jesus.

Speaker 3

Christ, you know, their toenails are like four inches thick.

Speaker 2

Oh my God, Literally. I just want y'all to know that I have a Santa Claus on one of my toes and I have a reindeer on the other. So, my shit is legit. No, you know it's not. It is a reindeer.

Speaker 1

Kel thought it was a black Santa she was like what Kel thought it was a black Santa.

Speaker 2

No, yeah, she was like, I mean, they all give the gifts, right. And I was like, well, of course they do, I don't care. Yeah, she was like only you would go get a white santa and a black santa, one on one toe and one of the other because you're right there. And I was like, no, it's a. It was fine, it was good, it was a good time so moral story take care of your feet and wash your ass and take care of your feet.

Speaker 2

It's really important it is. Yeah, it's a head to toe Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, those are things. That's where that all started.

Speaker 1

I'm pretty sure that was. You did it twice in the song.

Speaker 2

It was like, yeah, a Sesame. We learned that in Sesame Street era yeah.

Speaker 3

Nick doesn't even know what freaking Sesame Street is. Yeah, I frequent bars, believe it or not.

Speaker 1

I frequent music venues all over.

Speaker 3

It's just so many people that don't know basic hygiene.

Speaker 2

Those are crowd clearers, but I'm expected to have conversations with some of these people. And you're dying, oh yeah.

Speaker 3

You know, Been there.

Speaker 2

It's bad. Yeah, I can't handle the things. I don't know where that really comes from.

Speaker 3

We were raised right.

Speaker 2

I mean, even if we didn't have like a normal bath time or whatever, we would do a. What we called would be a spit bath.

Speaker 3

We call them whore baths Face spit, nuts ass. Okay, Well, we just spit on a rag Well no, you know, I was in the military and we'd be out deployed, you know, and you don't have the luxury of showers.

Speaker 2

Yeah. So we always took like baby wipes or something like this, you know, and I'm just talking about when we were out running around because I was the kid Shit. I still am the one that runs around with no shoes on Shit, they've seen me. That's how the whole feet conversation with freaking Creed started Me running around out here at our own disclosed location, the only time I'm barefoot is in a pool or in my shower.

Speaker 3

That's it.

Speaker 2

So many men are like that.

Speaker 3

I got flip-flops or bedroom slippers. No, I'm about as redneck.

Speaker 2

as they come, I will run around.

Speaker 3

I grew up redneck as shit, but I don't know I I will run around. I grew up running like a shit, but I don't like showing my feet Tender feet.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so many men are like that.

Speaker 3

I know it's weird.

Speaker 2

It is weird Not me. I'll run around and I never have shoes on, but my feet are good. I damn sure ain't walking around with no Walmart shirt.

Speaker 3

But I'll be the first one to smell my toes to see if they're stinky, because I can't do that and I don't have stinky toes. I've been able to smell my toes in like 15 years. I thought you got to stretch and hydrate. Monroe, you got that shit yeah I got like automatic shoe time you got a bend and squat.

Speaker 1

Yeah, no my version is the bend and squat that.

Speaker 2

That's how well? Yeah, that's a whole another explanation of teaching these girls how to piddle in the pastures. You got to bend and squat, but yeah, no, I do.

Speaker 3

I will run around out here with no shoes and whatever, but at least you have the decency to knock that shit off before you go anywhere.

Speaker 2

My whole crew at the resort. I'll have a fully booked campground and be roaming around and I will go straight up top where I have a hand washing sink or whatever, and I built it. It's just an old metal tub, right? Yeah, no, I'll stick my foot right up in there and then put my shoes on and do my own thing. Yeah, I may run around like a hood rat, but I am.

Speaker 3

I'm a clean one yeah, yeah, no, I wake up, shower, all that you know and get ready to put my stuff off for the day before the socks, baby powder, blah, blah look at you with your baby powder at all.

Speaker 2

That's good.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so we have sound, clean toes, clean hygiene. What's next for Monroe.

Speaker 3

What's next for Monroe? I don't know, I don't know you do. I'm just looking for the next adventure.

Speaker 2

You know, I just what is it I never want?

Speaker 3

to sit on my porch and say I wish it were.

Speaker 2

What got you to New Braunfels?

Speaker 3

Well, april, actually, my wife Really, yeah. So my last duty station was Fort Sam, okay, and in 2014, I actually started coming up to New Braunfels.

Speaker 2

Why.

Speaker 3

We started a chapter of my club up here.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 3

Back in 14.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 3

And I live in San Antonio, but I was up here probably four or five nights a week.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And drunk as piss and then riding all the way back to San Antonio going drink and drive. But it was but that's what I did, and then I planned on moving up here anyway. But I met my wife, actually met her June 1st 2019.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 3

At Billy's.

Speaker 2

So in 2014, you were in San Antonio, okay.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I retired in 14, blah, blah, blah and got divorced from my last one, moved into an apartment, all that crap, and I just started hanging out up in new brussels, gotcha, and then met her june 1st did you already have your sound I was just starting, just starting the sound thing, just starting so did. I'm here for you know and uh, in 21 we actually started dating finally yeah and you met her at billy's.

Relationship Challenges and Future Plans

Speaker 3

Met her at billy's and I I told her that day, I asked her to marry me that day. Yeah, and she's like whatever right, yeah and uh, yeah, we're going bar hopping. I'm like, come on, she's like I'm not getting on the bike with you yeah so I actually ubered her from bar to bar to bar that we were bar hopping in and at the end of the night there's no ubers, so she actually had to get on my bike. Anyway, I took her home, but nothing happened, you know she deboned your chicken no, no, she didn't, no, she didn't.

Speaker 3

And you know, from 19 until 21 I'd be at billy's or whatnot. I would get stupid drunk and not listen to anyone. They would call her, so she would come and right, so, but I was a gentleman, so she'd take me to her house. I'd either sleep in her yard or sleep in the garage, just a gentleman. But she and I, we just had that little connection.

Speaker 1

Right.

Speaker 3

So 21,. She had to have procedures done Because she's bullheaded. She thinks she's going to do it by herself, but she reached out for help. I retired, I ain't got shit to do, right. So five days turned into 10 days. Then there was complications, she had to have another procedure done. Yeah, so five days, 10 days, three months, and she's like you've been here this long, why leave, why?

Speaker 2

yeah. Why leave yeah so here we are. And that was in 21.

Speaker 3

Yes, and we got married in 22. We just celebrated two years.

Speaker 2

Congratulations.

Speaker 3

November 12th, 22 is when we got married.

Speaker 2

I love that. That's awesome. That's awesome.

Speaker 3

I say two years.

Speaker 2

Nice and New Braunfels, and she is born and raised here, I know Same.

Speaker 3

But once her kid, my bonus daughter has graduated, we're moving to Belize.

Speaker 2

Really yeah. What inspired. That.

Speaker 3

New brothels are getting too big.

Speaker 2

The world is huge.

Speaker 3

But Belize, yeah, come on, gulf of Mexico.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, you don't have to tell they love.

Speaker 3

X-Pass Right, right, go live Belize. Build a little rock and roll bar on the beach.

Speaker 2

She got a game plan. Oh, I love it, is it?

Speaker 3

pig's pussy pork.

Speaker 2

I got a game plan. Well, yeah, that's good, so yeah.

Speaker 3

Belize.

Speaker 2

She doesn't know that yet, but that's what's happening, oh, okay, well, anyways, we'll go ahead and edit that part. Joke's on you, holy shit, yeah, so when did she graduate, the little?

Speaker 3

She is seventh grade, so we got about five, six years.

Speaker 2

Okay, nice, so you've got some time. Yeah, you've got some time. Yeah, you've got some time. Well, she's going to find out about it.

Speaker 3

She's got plenty of time to warm her up to the idea, yeah well, I hadn't mentioned it to her and she was like oh hell, no, you know, at least let's visit first.

Speaker 2

So step in the right direction it may be one of those things where you just visit and don't come back she may I have told everyone, if I am, australia has been my. I just feel like that's my vibe and that's where Well, if you go to Australia.

Speaker 3

Take a guy with you.

Speaker 2

I will never come back.

Speaker 3

No, just do the men in Australia Treat the women like shit. They do they treat women like shit.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, you've been there, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, they love us American men because we treat women with respect. Australian men, though, for the most part Interesting.

Speaker 2

Or at least what I saw 20-ish years ago. I guess I never really did everything that I am infatuated with with Australia.

Speaker 3

You have a tang of room.

Speaker 2

Well, yeah, not once has it ever been a man. So I mean it has everything to do with everything besides. Yeah.

Speaker 3

No, it's not that From down under.

Speaker 2

Yeah, no, it's not at all. You can go. No, I see that show in Vegas. It's stupid. Yeah Well, no, I lived in.

Speaker 3

Germany for 10 years and I visited 26 countries. Yeah, 26 countries.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

You know, and it's just no place like home. Yeah, you know, but it's just. It's getting too big here, you know, and I just want to listen to music and drink beer. That's all I want to do. Yeah, Listen to music and drink beer.

Speaker 2

It's pretty simple.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I'm a simple man. Mm-hmm, I'm a simple man, but until I can achieve that goal, I will run sound for whoever needs me follow the link down below.

Speaker 2

I'm easy, but I ain't cheap hey, I mean you kind of get what you pay for, yeah well, I have a show at a frat party this weekend.

Speaker 3

They paid me. Well, you know, I got, you know this band. I did them at billy's blah blah and then I'm working with uh, riverbottom sounds entertainment out of bernie and he got a call to do this frat party. So he sent me and I show up and these guys are like, oh shit, billy's. So now every time they do a frat party they call me. Nice Well they call river bottom sounds, but they request me Well cool. So we got there and it's just a blast.

Speaker 2

That's awesome. Yeah, that's good. So we did, we talked sound. You're moving to Belize.

Speaker 3

Hopefully.

Speaker 1

Which I will be.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I guess that's a whole new toes in the sand, not hammer toes. No, no, no, hammer, toes, no, no Seven. So you have five more years, yeah, until that comes to fruition, if that works.

Speaker 3

If it works, yeah, but it seems like you know that works. If it works yeah, but see, you know, the wife was born and raised here. Getting her to uproot is going to be a challenge.

Speaker 2

It is definitely going to be a challenge. She's my last one. She's my last one.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I've had several. Yeah, she's my last one. So if I have to work on her for another five years, I'll work on it for another five years.

Speaker 2

So that's what relationships and meeting in the middle or whatever, yeah Well.

Speaker 3

I'm just afraid of that fucking woman. So whatever she says, that's.

Speaker 2

Did you ever think that you would ever be afraid of a woman?

Speaker 3

Never.

Speaker 2

What makes her she's quiet, hmm.

Speaker 3

You know my past relationships, you know.

Speaker 2

Right, yeah, this one.

Speaker 3

Okay, that's it.

Speaker 2

Oh shit, oh shit. So yeah, okay, that's it, oh shit.

Speaker 3

So yeah, uh, sleep with one eye open.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so so I'm dead, I'm done. Said a damn thing in five minutes. I'm dying tonight. Tonight is my last dance.

Speaker 3

Well, there goes police, yeah, but no, I mean, you know, back when we first got together, you know and I'll show you. And I sleep in the garage on concrete and shit. She's like okay, dumbass, whatever yeah no one kicked you out of bed. I'll show her, you know. So she's just so strong-willed and so confident in who she is, and new brumphills has raised a couple of them like that. She scares the shit out of me. I love you. She scares the shit out of me.

Speaker 2

Her and I are not that far apart in age, I don't think.

Speaker 3

She's 21.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so am I.

Speaker 1

Yup.

Speaker 3

Actually she's older than me, she's my cougar. But if she puts in her hearing, she becomes my deaf leopard oh my fucking hell, oh shit sorry no, you're not.

Speaker 2

You are absolutely not. You are not. So we we were talking about something the other day and I don't know if that's the note deal that you had on the thing about but you take notes on me.

Speaker 3

How shit, I thought we were just hanging, oh shit.

Speaker 2

Wow, no, you told me there was a story. You had pulled Tiffany in.

Wild Nights and Bad Decisions

Speaker 3

Really, really. Just a reminder Fuck me.

Speaker 2

So we were talking about something at Uno Rios this last go-round. You and I were having a conversation about I don't know whatever, and you said something. And you said, yeah, it was on stage and it was with the white t-shirt contest or whatever.

Speaker 3

And I said I thought it was a different one. Okay, cool, oh shirt contest or whatever. And I said I thought it was a different one. Okay, oh, that one's coming, you just wait, you just wait for it, yeah.

Speaker 2

And I said, um, yeah, I happen to have the whole thing on video. And he said, oh, you do. And I said, yeah, I was in, I was in the crowd and saw, and saw the whole thing, and that was I have the shirt yeah, I have the shirt as you and I have the video. Yeah, but that was Creed was there.

Speaker 3

Was it that?

Speaker 2

night. It was that night. Holy fuck yeah.

Speaker 3

That was a hell of a night. That was a good that was, I was under the influence of a lot of things. As pretty much everyone else was that were on the grounds. But the thing was, you know, I'm a sound dude and, for whatever reason, they talked me into emceeing the wet t-shirt contest.

Speaker 2

That's how this yes.

Speaker 3

And can we pause right here so I can go pee?

Speaker 2

Of course you can. Sorry, I mean I gotta pee Go ahead.

Speaker 3

Apologies, I thought you said it first.

Speaker 1

first white t-shirt contest White t-shirt.

Speaker 2

I probably did say white t-shirt contest White wet wet, white wet wet. Is that a Hanes or is that a? Yeah, I did say yeah.

Speaker 3

So where were we?

Speaker 2

Oh, the wet white t-shirt contest.

Speaker 3

Since I don't know how to say the white wet t-shirt contest.

Speaker 2

I don't even remember anyone having a t-shirt on. To be honest with you.

Speaker 3

I'm just going to do sound, but under the influence of several things blah, blah, blah. Talk a minute in a wet t-shirt, cool. So I'm up there and Mags is doing it with me and love you, mags, yeah, he's my partner in crime, he is. So I'm up there and I'm talking and he's doing the water point and blah, blah, blah. Well, she was either a kindergarten teacher or a third grade teacher, I can't remember. She had great boobs, though.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I was like big, but yeah, she's up there, she's just like yeah Well, boring as shit, right, and so I thought I moved the microphone.

Speaker 2

But you didn't.

Speaker 1

I didn't.

Speaker 3

So I expressed I gave this chick some advice. I'm like you know, if you show your butthole you'll win the money.

Speaker 2

And I announced that to the entire crowd. Yes, I was there. So Even my alpaca that was there had to close his ears.

Speaker 3

I was like, oh, it's time for him to go home.

Speaker 2

He cannot hear these things.

Speaker 3

But what was really bad, like two girls later kept trying to show her butthole and Madge kept pulling down her skirt. He's like no, no one wants to see that. No, she can't try it. He's like no, no one wants to see that, no, she kept trying. He's like no, no, it was yeah so it was a fluctuation. But it became a thing. You know, I would go to Billy's, I would go downtown, anywhere I went. Hey, buddy, show your butthole, show your butthole. It just became a thing.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

So the next year, of course, I'm going to do the wet t-shirt contest again, but they present me with a shirt. Show your butthole.

Speaker 2

And you still have the shirt Still have the shirt. We're going to need a screenshot of that so we can add this to our little snippets or whatever little thing that's going to get old. Yeah, I bet you I will. Yeah, I know exactly where it is. As a matter of fact, me, I've been like what the fuck did I do with that thing? No, not you.

Speaker 3

No, it's not the last shirt. It's the first shirt.

Speaker 2

See 20 years of what the fuck do I wear when I get out in the real world? Because your shit is wrong. We need to be.

Speaker 3

It's the third or fifth shirt in from the end.

Speaker 2

Of course it is. Yeah, Now let's talk about what's your favorite color of thong. If you say another color besides blue?

Speaker 3

Yeah. If you say another color besides blue, yeah, well, I haven't always been an upstanding productive person in society.

Speaker 1

Citizen of the community.

Speaker 3

So you know what hogging is right. Hogging that's where you go out and you find fat girls. That's just what you do, right? This was back in my misguided youth, you know.

Speaker 2

In the little town in West Virginia.

Speaker 3

No, I was active duty. I was active duty, I was active duty. I ain't going to name the town or the bar, but we walked in.

Speaker 2

But it was.

Speaker 3

We're hogging, we're finding fat girls, blah, blah, blah. And I talked this girl out of her thong. She goes to the bathroom, she takes off her thong, she brings it back to me and I decided to put on her thong, so I got naked in the middle of the bar and question first of all do you like have a group of dudes where y'all all get together and go?

Speaker 2

Hey bro, what are y'all going to do tonight?

Speaker 3

This was years ago.

Speaker 2

I don't give a shit if it was yesterday or if it was 20 fucking years ago.

Speaker 3

We were drunk and stupid. I was between marriages.

Speaker 2

And so y'all decided when we go hogging that means we're about to go pop a damn hog in somebody's pasture illegally because we want to. No.

Speaker 3

We're just no, I don't know what that means no.

Speaker 1

Clearly not.

Speaker 3

But this, she brought me a phone.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how words work. Yeah, oh my God. Yeah, all right, so y'all were we were doing that.

Speaker 3

I talked to her. She goes to the bathroom and takes it off, brings it to me.

Speaker 2

Let's talk about how, what, how. What did you say to her? I?

Speaker 3

don't know.

Speaker 2

Yes, you do.

Speaker 3

No.

Speaker 2

You fucking damn sure do.

Speaker 3

I was so fucked up.

Speaker 2

Man bro, you know exactly what you said there, this Bro, you know exactly what you said there.

Speaker 3

This was years ago.

Speaker 2

You know what you said.

Speaker 3

Honestly, I really don't. I mean, I probably promised her the damn world. I don't know.

Speaker 2

You know I mean back in the day. I Did you say drop your chonies.

Speaker 3

No, I probably. I honestly don't remember, but somehow, someway I talked her out of her shit. So she goes to the bathroom and brings it to me. I just thought it would be a good idea to ride my motorcycle in a fat girl's car. I really did so. I got naked as shit in the middle of the bar.

Speaker 2

And this wasn't even like the rot rally or nothing. This was just a random Wednesday. A random Tuesday no, I'm lying.

Speaker 3

It was a Friday night, because I did get arrested. It was a Friday night, I did get arrested. Oh yeah, I'm getting there, I'm getting there. I did get arrested, I did get arrested, yeah, okay. But I talked about it with them up in here.

Speaker 2

We should light from a row, but we know it's a big girl. Okay, because once I put it on I had to tie a knot on both sides.

Speaker 3

Oh, like a nice swimmy, it was huge right, and so I put on my boots, my vest, my helmet. Grab my beer, I'm gonna go around my motorcycle you put on your boots vest vest helmet helmet grab a beer safety first safety, pumpkin safety grabbed a beer, and what'd you do with your?

Speaker 2

what'd you do with your chonies? Oh, this in the floor somewhere in there okay I wasn't thinking that far all right, they do what they want to do you know, yeah, I just threw them over to the side.

Speaker 1

We just did a swap. They like I want to sit here and stay it's like a swap meet.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I got a nut popping over here. Yeah, one to the left, one to the right, flopping in the wind.

Speaker 3

For fuck's sake, Dude, God didn't bless me there, so I mean it fit. It was a nice sling, it was a nice banana hamm fit.

Speaker 2

It was a nice sling. It was a nice banana hammock it was. It was a nice shade of blue.

Speaker 3

More like a banana.

Speaker 2

Shut up, just carry on. Yes ma'am, you cranked it up. Did you get out of first gear? What happened?

Speaker 3

Oh, I was doing 90.

Speaker 2

Of course, in a 45. Oh righty, then he's doing 90. Of course, okay. So where oh Righty then? How was Well the officer that pulled him over to debone his chicken? No shit, what county.

Speaker 3

What county?

Speaker 2

did you get?

Speaker 3

deboned in. No, the fucked up part was that the police Wait.

Speaker 2

Okay, you just said the fucked up part was Was Past tense.

Speaker 3

Yeah Well.

Speaker 2

The Was Was Past tense. Well, the police were profiling.

Speaker 3

Those fuckers. They were profiling Pulling over all drunk bikers on motorcycles that night in Pat Grossman. They were pulling over all drunk bikers in Pat Grossman how many was there One Monroe? All of them right, all of them, they were profiling.

Speaker 2

These racist motherfuckers. Justice for Monroe. All of them, right, all of them. They were profiling these racist motherfuckers Justice for Monroe, justice for Monroe.

Speaker 3

Justice for Monroe so it's 45, I'm doing like 90.

Speaker 2

Where were you running from Nothing? Were you just trying to feel the breeze Alcohol?

Speaker 3

and logic don't work.

Speaker 2

Listen to Summer Shandy back there. Oh yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so these fuckers pulled me over.

Speaker 2

They pulled you over. Yeah, that's so rude.

Speaker 3

What the hell are you doing, kid Drinking? Hold on.

Speaker 2

I offered to cop my beer it wasn't funny, so these fuckers took me to jail. I can, I just want to be. Why was lone star law not around when this shit was happening? Why can we not go bro monroe, season 4, episode 12 he's on right now. Yes, look you, look at this motherfucker here. Yeah.

Speaker 3

So, but finally my attorney shows up and I'm getting bailed out. But the people there, because there's a big adventure inside the jail too.

Speaker 2

Oh of course, there is you walking around in a blue thong that you had to tie.

Speaker 3

Well, you know. So they handcuff me to the wall and I do my mug shots right, and then I have to go get my fingerprints done right. So I'm in a pastel, blue lace thong and orange flip-flops.

Speaker 2

You failed to mention that it was lace.

Speaker 3

Oh yeah, but after my mug shot they undo the handcuffs and I push the cop and I take off. Right now I just do a lap inside the jail cell and I go. Well, not the jail cell, the jail house and I go to the wall and I cuff myself in To the window.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm having so much fun.

Speaker 3

I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm going to have fun. So, as I'm leaving, my attorney finally shows up.

Speaker 2

Oh, God, he was so weird.

Speaker 3

As I'm leaving, they're like please do dumb shit tonight, come back. We had so much fun. They were advocating for me to go do dumb shit and come back. Yeah, so that was a Friday.

Speaker 2

Were they going to give you like a buy one, get one. Yeah, hey, bro, sergeant 361, go in the back and go get some.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but they were begging me to do dumb shit. They wanted me to come back. So bad, I mean we had a blast Like a buy one, get one. Even the cops inside. You know you have civilians working in there, but even the cops were just like dude. This is so much fucking fun, man.

Speaker 2

It was a blast right, this would be such a good. What is that Not Live After Lockup? What's that other show where you just sit and watch them, where they arrest people at night and it's freaking oh yeah, maybe you know because that's original.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a good one, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3

So that was Friday night, so I go back to my unit on Monday and of course I'm on the police block because shit, I went to jail In a lace thong. Yeah, for fuck's sake. So Thursday they sent me to Iraq. I was gone that Thursday time. Yeah, iraq, I was gone that Thursday time.

Speaker 2

This motherfucker ran around with his ball swinging in a blue lace thong, put him in the front lines.

Speaker 3

So Friday happened, Monday unit. Thursday I'm in Iraq, so that's when I get blown up and shit Right. So I get blown up. While I come back I still have to go to court. I still have to go to court for my DUI. I got blown up.

Speaker 2

Explain that, if you want to. How many tours have you done?

Speaker 3

I've done three total. Last one, of course, got blown up. I was engaged to be married and it killed my fiance, killed a friend of mine. I survived. Yeah, interesting, interesting shit.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm so glad you're here. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3

Well, I told you I was in therapy 13 years.

Speaker 2

That's why yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 3

So I had to still go to court for my DUI. So I come back. I had a few surgeries and I have to go to court.

Speaker 1

Right.

Speaker 3

So you know, I've got my uniform on all my little ribbons, but I put on my Purple Heart and metal. I didn't put the ribbon on. I put the Purple when you had it, yeah, but not when I got blown up. It destroyed my ears.

Speaker 2

Please tell me the jockstrap was the blue lace no.

Speaker 3

But no. So when I got blown up, it destroyed my ears. So I've had my ears cut off seven times.

Speaker 2

Wait, stop, you've had them cut off seven times. Yes, they cut them off and they put them back on. Yeah, oh, look at that.

Speaker 3

They cut them off. They cut them off, lay them on my cheek and they go. So they're trying to repair my eardrums, right.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 3

So they cut my ear off, lay it on my cheek and then they go between my skull and my scalp and pull tissue and rebuild, but it's not worked seven times. So and then this ear I have. You know, you got your three hearing bones. This ear, they're all prosthetic. Yeah, so this ear doesn't work at all. My auditory nerve works, but my ear does not work. Auditory nerve works, but my ear doesn't.

Speaker 2

I don't know what the difference is.

Speaker 3

I mean, I get your ear, yes, but I mean so like sometimes when you go get a hearing test right, you know they'll put stuff.

Speaker 2

So Gage, my oldest son, has got all kinds of hearing problems, but it's like right here on both sides. Yeah.

Speaker 3

They will put something there and you can actually hear there. That's where your auditory nerve is.

Speaker 1

Okay, okay.

Speaker 3

Right. So it's like I can feel vibrations and I can hear here, but I don't hear anything through here. Got you? Yeah, and I'm a sound guy.

Embracing Growth Through Relationships

Speaker 2

You know? Yeah, that is very interesting. Yeah, you know, yeah, that is very interesting. Well, gage, my oldest son, was misdiagnosed several times with they would say it was a viral infection, viral infection and take him in and high fevers and what have you, and blah, blah and not give him anything and poor baby was just suffering and it was absolutely brutal. And come to find out that wasn't the case. That was ear infections, and so then we did a hearing test when he was five and six years old. They put him in the deal and and they said well, he's at 80%. So if he wanted to join the military or whatever, that's what you have to have in order to do so.

Speaker 2

And then, um, he's so stubborn and high tolerance for pain, won't go. And, um, this was probably six, seven, eight months ago where he had a horrible, horrible ear infection to the point where they literally thought they were going to have to go in and do a whole surgery thing. And I was like I mean, but are you just trying to do? You mean, do you not want to hear what we say? I mean, just tell us to shut up, or do you just? I mean, if we're getting on your nerves, block us or whatever.

Speaker 3

But you can't paint us right yeah yeah, we don't want to know what's wrong with us. We don't want to know, oh my gosh, I understand it we don't want to know. But, yeah, wrong with us. We don't want to know, oh my gosh. No, but I understand it.

Speaker 2

We don't want to know, but yeah, I mean brutal the shit that, yeah, we will Eight through his freaking drums and all the nonsense.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but we will deal with so much because we don't want to know what's wrong with us. Because if we have to admit something's wrong with us, we're weak.

Speaker 2

That's stupid, especially because pay for therapy, well yeah, especially I mean that is kind of ironic, to say the least when your mom was still deboning your chicken when you were 17 years old, you know. You went in there and you went I have, I don't want to eat the chicken off the bone. If you had a little tiny, if you would have bumped your toe, you know, your mama would down there 17 years, 17 years old. She would give you yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't want to tell us.

Speaker 3

But I lost Amanda in 06 and lost my mom in 07. So those two years sucked, sucked, yeah. So I waited a long time.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And then I finally got there.

Speaker 2

It takes a lot, I'm gooder now I love that word. It takes a lot for men to go into therapy.

Speaker 3

It does, it does, and I was lucky the one that I found was a retired nun.

Speaker 2

Once and remember what I said. But she had my sense of humor.

Speaker 3

Know what's the other thing she had really, yeah, she, oh, oh, she was old dude. She was old, oh, but she had my sense of humor to hear her stories you know. But you know we always just laugh. I'm like, why am I listening to you? You divorced jesus, okay. Why am I taking the bike?

Speaker 2

yeah, she's of all. Can we talk about your problems? Yeah, mary.

Speaker 3

Her name was Mary. Her name was Mary.

Speaker 2

They fuck up their whole name Mary for fuck's sake.

Speaker 3

She said no.

Speaker 2

That's amazing, Is she still? I mean she.

Speaker 3

You know, I moved.

Speaker 2

Do you want pen pals or?

Speaker 3

nothing, no, no.

Speaker 2

We should try to find her. Nick got some solid, solid ass detective skills she's probably married to jesus again.

Speaker 3

But like, really they're probably walking we all have a love-hate relationship. I'm just saying she's probably up there, I'm mad at you.

Speaker 2

Right now, I need you again.

Speaker 3

It's like when I got hit, you know I had a cop right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I was raised christian with baba dude for years. You know I had a God right. Yeah, I was raised Christian with a lot of dude for years, mad. One day God just said shut up dude.

Speaker 2

Yes, sir.

Speaker 3

I stopped questioning. He'll let me know what's going on.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's a big thought, that's a big um realization. Um, I learned a lot from a very, very, very, very close friend of mine, um, that lost their little and it it's. It's been a struggle for me and and it still is a struggle for me. Um, like, I don't know how everybody handled it and I did and I still, and I've learned how everybody handles things in different ways and forms and fashions, and, um, but still there's so many unanswered questions when it comes to that, Like why would you? Why would you do that? Why would Like, why would you do that? Why would you take that little when we've got these?

Speaker 2

mass murderers that are running around doing what they're doing, and so it is. That's a whole conversation, that yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I've grown more in the past three years than I did in the first 44 years of mother.

Speaker 2

I feel the same way about myself. I really do. I feel I feel like in the last five to six I'm guessing I've I have done a lot of soul searching and coming and realization and forgiving a lot of family things that I didn't understand and realizing that choices that I've made were out of ignorance.

Speaker 3

What were the choices that you made? Were they to please others?

Speaker 2

Almost always.

Speaker 3

So, I have been shrinking my circle, and the smaller my circle gets, the happier I become. And for years I tried to be that guy. Right, years I tried to be that guy, tried to be that guy. You don't like me, piss off, I don't care. But now I'm that way. But then I wanted to please everybody and I just did the dumbest shit. I still do dumb shit, don't get me wrong. But the dumb shit I do now is for me. I used to do dumb shit for them and shrinking my circle and truly leaning on the onesies and twosies, I'll be nice to everybody.

Speaker 2

Right, oh, I won't, but I'll be nice to everybody.

Speaker 3

Yeah, don't fuck up, but I'll be nice to you, but I truly my onesies and twosies and life has gotten so much better.

Speaker 2

It really has. Right, I'm learning to quit getting my feelings hurt. I used to get, and I still I mean I get my feelings hurt and I still I mean I get my feelings hurt.

Speaker 3

I used to, but I don't. But you're getting your feelings hurt by people who matter. That's the question. You know what I mean, because I used to let people who didn't matter hurt my feelings.

Speaker 2

That was me, yeah, and I would overthink it, and it was like this is and how do you deal with it? Ooh, I would deal with it in so many different. I mean all kinds of random ways, I mean.

Speaker 3

Mine was chemicals.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

You know, I mean for 13 years I got to learn how to deal with this emotion, this emotion so. But recently I was confronted with an emotion that I didn't know how to deal with and I didn't ask for help, I didn't.

Speaker 2

What emotion?

Speaker 3

or something Exclusion, exclusion. I felt left out and I never really felt that before.

Speaker 2

Gotcha.

Speaker 3

But I couldn't express how it was feeling. So I'm a beer drinker, don't get me wrong. I love beer.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

But I turned to harder stuff.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And I became a nightmare, you know, and my wife? Thank god she's got the patience of a saint.

Speaker 3

That woman should have left me but, she had the patience and over months, but over months I didn't know what was wrong, I had no idea what was wrong, but she and I we talked over months. But over months I didn't, I didn't know what was wrong, I had no idea what was wrong, but she and I we talked over months months, not days, months and identified what the problem was. Holy shit done, fixed it. That's just something I've never dealt with before and she helped identify it and we dealt with it together and she and I that is so.

Speaker 2

That's so, epic, that's no, she's fucking epic.

Speaker 3

That woman should have left me months ago.

Speaker 2

She should have but that is a partnership, that's a relationship, that's a friendship. That is is everything that it's supposed to be.

Speaker 3

She's Monroe with boobs. Okay, I mean, she's just as fucked up as I am as far as like sense of humor, what we find funny. She is my best friend. She really is.

Speaker 2

And that's what it's about.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

You know, god bless that woman. Yeah, she should have left me.

Speaker 2

I love that she should have left me and she didn't, and the fact that you guys figured that out together is really that's really cool and that you listened to her.

Speaker 3

Well, it took a while.

Speaker 2

Oh, I'm sure it took a while, but but I mean as it, I mean that's like with anything else, I mean it's.

Speaker 1

If you just went okay, sure it is.

Speaker 2

Then that means, you don't fucking no, no, that's not how it works.

Speaker 3

No, no, but she. We're stronger now than we've ever been.

Speaker 2

It's amazing, when you overcome a situation like that, that you do realize. You either do realize it or you don't.

Speaker 3

Right if you don't realize it then I've been in some shit relationships. You know I mean, yeah, and this one, she's my homie, I love it, I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 2

That makes my heart so happy, better than I deserve but I'll take than I deserve, but I'll take it.

Speaker 3

That's not true, but I'll take it.

Speaker 2

That's not true. It's a good. You guys got a good. You're a team, You're a partnership, You're a.

Speaker 3

And date all the time we date every Thursday.

Speaker 2

That's so important.

Speaker 3

We date every Thursday.

Speaker 2

Very, very important. Yeah, it, it really is I always have a show.

Speaker 3

She lets me know it's date night. Fucker, why are you working?

Speaker 2

Yeah, that is very important. It really is.

Speaker 3

I'm trying to get all serious on you.

Speaker 2

No, that's part of the roller coaster. Whatever we got on here, yeah, yeah, okay. So I'm going to do the word of the day.

Speaker 3

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2

So I do a word of the day.

Speaker 3

So is this like Pee-wee's Playhouse? You do the word of the day and we scream no.

Speaker 2

And first of all, why would you bring in the perv? No, yeah, no.

Speaker 3

Well, you said word of the day I remember growing up Pee-we and everybody. Well, actually it was a secret word of the day.

Speaker 2

Well, yeah, like his secret. First of all, it was peewee and second of all he said secret. He finished strong, though didn't he Did, he didn't. He Didn't Paul Rubens finish strong in the in the world.

Speaker 3

Well, he did in that fucking theater. He didn. It ended up in someone's hair, right? Is that what happened? I cannot Okay.

Speaker 2

And the word of the day is trinkles.

Speaker 3

Yeah, Trinkles, trinkles, trinkles. Would you mind explaining to me what trinkles is ma'am?

Speaker 2

Yes, trinkles are tiny ass sprinkles. So I say, piddles, I got to go piddle, you got to go piddle, we're going to go piddle. So I say, piddles, I got to go piddle, you got to go piddle, we're going to go piddle. Did you sprinkle? If you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie.

Speaker 3

Wipe the seedy. Is that what we're going?

Speaker 2

Be neat and wipe the seat. I bet your mom said be a sweetie and wipe the seedy.

Speaker 3

And then we giggle.

Speaker 2

Well, you know what my mom would say right now, if she's alive and we giggle chicken off the cheek of. Oh, she's going to talk to me later and she's like I'm so glad you set his ass straight About time. This motherfucker eating off a goddamn chicken bone.

Speaker 3

That is what your mama could be saying right now. What would she say if she was alive right now? Open this coffin. I can't breathe.

Speaker 2

Let me the fuck out of here. It's dark.

Speaker 3

Bring me a cheeseburger. It's been 17 years. Yeah, I Bring me a cheeseburger.

Speaker 2

It's been 17 years. Yeah, I ain't taking the goddamn chicken off the bone. Son Eat it, so trinkles. So, trinkles, tinkle piddle and sprinkles equals trinkles.

Speaker 3

So what's the piddle thing? I know the tinkle thing, I know the sprinkles thing.

Speaker 2

What's the piddle thing? Piddle is when you go pee, you piddle.

Speaker 1

Okay, when you go pee, you piddle.

Speaker 2

Okay, I piddle, okay, nick piddles. I taught nick how to piddle in the piddle in the pasture for the first time ever well, there's plenty of pasture here to take on yeah, did you make sure that you use the right the? The mints is the other tree over here, that the oak tree to the left talk to jungle about that next book, man Piddle in the Pasture. Yes, jungle Heard the word Piddle in the Pasture.

Infectious Laughter, Meaningful Connections

Speaker 3

That's awesome. Have you read his books? Yes, are they not awesome?

Speaker 2

Yeah, he was so upset with me because I ordered them and he was like that's not how this works. And I was like that's a fucking movie out where it's called you Support your People. Well what was really funny.

Speaker 3

When I asked him to sign my book oh, I asked him to sign mine he was like absolutely. And I was like well, they're not here, yet, and he goes.

Speaker 2

What do you mean? They're not here and I was like they're not here yet.

Speaker 1

It love. I just love what you do I really do?

Speaker 3

Like I said, I'm a fangirl. I watch all your shit. Like I said, you're infectious. I know you're on the personal side, but this side you're so infectious, thank you. Your laugh is probably the greatest thing on the planet. Thank you. Every time you laugh it's like hearing a baby laugh. When you hear a baby laugh, you just get excited Every time you laugh I get excited.

Speaker 2

You have that very unique laugh, thank you. I think it's awesome. That's gonna make me cry and I'm gonna tell you why. Because, um, I had a very good friend still do have a very good friend um that, and you know how we you were just talking about how we we make bad choices we end up in a fluctuation. All of a sudden we end up in the system, yeah, and and this was this guy and he um had a dwi, got another one and then got another one and um fair complected freckles, redhead.

Speaker 3

Ginger.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, and we went to go, me and my best friend, and we went to go see him in the pen and he was three was to do. Three months to six years was what was his sentence. And we went down to go see him. When he got in there, of course it was obviously the profiling and what happens. We've all seen the shows, we know what happens. And if you don't, it's out there. But look it up and instantly went into the defense. And he's not, he's got plenty of street smarts, he's a tattoo artist, he's not, he ain't afraid of shit. And so he went in there and he went in to defend himself and that's how he ended up having to serve the full six years because he was in trouble.

Speaker 2

But we went to go see him and when he got out, I ran into him in Kerrville, ironically enough, and we'd kept up through the whole time as much as we could, because he was in solitary and they had bands or whatever on different levels that you would be in inside there and he would be black banded and that meant that he was in it. Yeah, that he was in an area where, yeah, no one could. Yeah, yeah, he was cuckoo for coconuts or whatever, because he would do what he needed to do. So got out, we were sitting in a curb and we were talking and, ironically I was walking.

Speaker 2

It was a big dance hall area and kind of like a barn party. So they had the outside hole shouldn't go in but the bathroom area, so it was like a fairground. It was at the fairgrounds Women's bathroom here, men's bathroom here, and so you walk down underneath the overhang and whatever. And I laughed and came out of the bathroom and he was standing in between the women and the men's restroom and I looked at him and I said holy shit, so dope man.

Speaker 2

I was like the women in the men's restroom and I looked at him and I said holy shit, so dope man. And I was like I haven't seen you since you were out. It's been a year or two. And he said I heard that laugh. And he said I freaking knew it was you and I mean just tears, and it was so good to see him.

Endearing Conversations and Laughter

Speaker 2

Has a wife now just starting family and of course this was years and years ago and, um, he said, the laugh that you have and the hair I am here goes my tears Nope. Um, I think this is really cool because this is important that he said he was asked a question when he was in the pen and he said what do you miss the most about being outside? And he said it was listening to the laughter and listening to a baby's, a child's, laugh. And he said there's nothing in this world that were ever replace the sound of listening to a child's laugh. And he said that there's nothing in this world that will ever replace the sound of listening to a child laugh.

Speaker 2

And, yeah, so when you've you've said that to me not once, you've said it to me multiple times and every time it goes back to you and I talk you know, and it goes back to that conversation where but it's true, it's always, and you think about these guys that are in, these women and these men and these whoever's that are, that are in in lockup and and they don't ever get to hear a baby laugh or a child laugh or just somebody that you love laugh again. That's, it's gone.

Speaker 3

It's gone, and so, yeah, that Damn it's gone, it's gone, and so yeah, damn it woman.

Speaker 2

I know Makes my heart. I love you.

Speaker 3

Love you, baby. I love you. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you it was so good. It was so fun.

Speaker 2

It was so good. We're going to go get a pedicure next week and get our hair I'm down like an extra cover zone honey. I love it. It was so good.

Speaker 3

Thank you so much, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it was a blast.

Speaker 3

I had a lot of fun.

Speaker 2

Me too, that was good.

Speaker 3

No, I'd go Cause I'm not interesting. Yeah, this is fun, that was good, not interesting, my ass.

Speaker 1

Watching grass grows more fun than me.