The Rambling Gypsy

Introducing Jungle

• The Rambling Gypsy • Season 3 • Episode 10

Share episode

Meet self-published author George S. Midla aka Jungle, hailing from Yonkers. In the first of a multi-episode series, Tiff sits down with him to uncover the backstory behind his memoir "Not White Bread" and the adventures that fueled his writing career.

-------------------------------------------------

Buy The Book: https://www.amazon.com/stores/George-S.-Midla/author/B0BS9THR3P

-------------------------------------------------
Music: “Blessed” by NAEMS
------------------------------------------------

Merch (coming soon): https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique

Talk With Tiff here: https://www.tiffanyfoy.com/talk-with-tiff

------------------------------------------------

Find Tiff:
Website: https://tiffanyfoy.com
Instagram: / gypsymammatiff  
Facebook: / gypsymammatiff  
TikTok: / gypsymammatiff

------------------------------------------------

Production: SIREN Studio

The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.

Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/
https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique/

Speaker 1:

I put a blessing on it to real. That's the metaphoric. We just put the I in iconic buzzin' like I'm electronic. Ah yeah, I put a blessing on it. See me drippin' in it 24-7 on it. I'm just bein' honest. Ah, holy water drippin', drippin' from my neck to my creps.

Speaker 2:

So I'm too steppin' on it like Are you gonna say something? You just gotta Action is what you're supposed to say. Go you. No, he's still practicing. He's still practicing. Hey everybody, I'm Tiffany Foy. This is the Ramblin' Gypsy podcast. Welcome to our she shed. We are in our she shed and once again, I have a set of balls in the shed. The she shed. Uh-oh, yeah yeah. So this is Jungle, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's a nickname.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, that's a nickname.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks for having me. You want to tell everybody what your real name is George Midler George.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, family name Never liked it.

Speaker 2:

I have an uncle, had an uncle he's God rest his soul named George.

Speaker 1:

Family name yes, been handed down.

Speaker 2:

Ours was too. Yeah, how many are you?

Speaker 1:

was too. Yeah, how many are you? What do you mean? George's? Um, my, uh, my father spared me the junior, so I got a different middle name than everyone else got you.

Speaker 2:

So we don't do that. I didn't. You know what I didn't honestly realize for it to actually be a real junior, it has to every.

Speaker 1:

Everything has to be well, he was a ge, a George Vincent, and I'm a George Stephen.

Speaker 2:

George Stephen. Where's Stephen come from?

Speaker 1:

I don't know I have no idea. Really yeah, big family it was different than Vincent, my family big, not so much. No, no, no, we're not breeders.

Speaker 2:

How about you Big family? Nope Okay.

Speaker 1:

We aren't either. We don't like people. Maybe they don't like you either.

Speaker 2:

No, they don't. I am officially the black sheep of the family.

Speaker 1:

I don't believe that.

Speaker 2:

You should.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I've been a loner for a long time, been flying solo for a very long time. Okay, yeah, I hit the. No, yeah, I hit the. Uh, no, did I hit the streets? Nah, kind of, but no, I wasn't. I wasn't on the streets, I was. I actually had a job and worked and worked my ass off since I was very little, but I did move out a very, very, very young age myself too yeah yeah, where are you from?

Speaker 1:

originally? I'm not supposed to say this. My father told me never tell anyone this.

Speaker 2:

Really.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was born in Yonkers, and don't ask me where Yonkers is, because there's only one Yonkers.

Speaker 2:

Why did he not want you to say I don't know Really.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's changed over the years. Back then it was a blue-collar town.

Speaker 2:

Where is?

Speaker 1:

Yonkers. Really, you don't even know where it is. Wow, there's only one Yonkers.

Speaker 2:

I just want to say bonkers Junkers. That's in New York, in and around New York City. Is that why he didn't want you to tell?

Speaker 1:

I don't know why. I just remember him saying that I remember a lot of things my father told me.

Speaker 2:

Really yeah.

Speaker 1:

He said never tell anybody. You're from Yonkers Steven, I need you to look at me.

Speaker 2:

This is bonkers that you're from Yonkers.

Speaker 1:

I can't believe. I said that.

Speaker 2:

Me neither. You put me on the spot. It's only the first one I left.

Speaker 1:

Nuevo York when I was about 17 is when I left, and then I've never been back. Why, wow, there's a thousand reasons, thousand reasons. Everybody there there's. You know, there's people in the world that are like like no maintenance, low maintenance, and it seems like everybody there is high maintenance. That makes any sense?

Speaker 2:

It does, yeah, so no desire to go back no god, I refuse to go back. If I'm flying anywhere, I avoid even going to the airport to change planes flying into jfk lacordia so where'd your your yonkers accent go?

Speaker 1:

my junkers are you, you know, um years ago. Years ago, when I was a young man, I used to be kind of proud of that accent.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And then I realized how stupid I sounded and then worked to get rid of it.

Speaker 2:

Did you?

Speaker 1:

Yes, but when I drink, sometimes it comes out. Sometimes it comes out, it's bad if I speak to someone from the area, so anyway.

Speaker 2:

And when you chime in yeah, that kind of happens with us from Texas too. Yeah, we get our twang We'll start twanging In more ways than one.

Speaker 1:

But thanks for telling me that I got rid of that accent.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would have never known.

Speaker 1:

Thank God.

Speaker 2:

And there it is. Oh, bubbles, just a little peek, just a little snippet. So I did that for you, Just a little snippet.

Speaker 1:

I did that for you. It Just a little peek. Just a little snippet I did that for you it's like a dog ear.

Speaker 2:

I did that for you, so I talk about often about me being racist, but it's never about skin color or whatever. Like normal people talk about racist.

Speaker 1:

It's like from where people are from, like New York.

Speaker 2:

But when that accent will come out? I don't know what it is, I don't know why, I don't know, but I lose my shit. What accent? The accent? What's the accent? The like, hardcore Yankee accent.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, okay, okay, well, that's good, is it Well, I mean, if that's your kryptonite?

Speaker 2:

But I don't even know what my problem is. I don't even know why.

Speaker 1:

I just. I don't even know what my problem is, I don't even know why.

Speaker 2:

I just I don't know, I just it sounds stupid. Maybe no, it doesn't sound stupid, it's annoying. So anyway, I agree with you.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, I don't lose my shit, though, I just I really don't either.

Speaker 2:

I just walk away and spin and turn, or bend and squat. That's the whole inside deal. Anyways, or bend and squat, that's the whole inside deal Anyways.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you're here now. Yes, how did you get to Texas? How'd I get to Texas? Wow, uh, in and out of the state a few times and fell in love with San Antonio city. Yeah, I mean, that's my heaven on earth.

Speaker 2:

How long have you been in San Antonio?

Speaker 1:

Wow, now about 20 years Really yeah.

Speaker 2:

So you just up and left New York and came to Texas.

Speaker 1:

Well, no, I helped start a family business in Maine. My father bought a town.

Speaker 2:

Oh.

Speaker 1:

So it was kind of cool Most people get shoes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, he bought a town, a nice leather jacket or something. I was not given shoes. We were on a, I was on a. You bought a town and you move the same time. No, no, no, no, peace out.

Speaker 1:

No time out. My parents were divorced and I was 16, 17, 16, 17. And I was taking a motorcycle trip to Canada to get a Molson and my father found out about it. So he's like, can I come along, you know, take a ride? So it was father and son and took the bikes up to canada for a molson and coming back, we were driving through maine and we stopped in this little town and, um it was, there was a small country store there and, uh, there was just some warm sodas in a cooler. All the ice was melted and he took a picture of me on the front stoop.

Speaker 2:

So do you still have that picture Hang?

Speaker 1:

on. No Months later, he gets a copy. Since you hate Yankees, there's a magazine out called Yankee magazine.

Speaker 1:

There's a magazine that's out called Yankee magazine comes out once a month and the centerfold is a piece of real estate that's for sale and it's usually something like an Island, something cool. And there was a town for sale and he was fed up with his job and it was the town that he took a picture of me on, rushed to the closet, flipped through the shoebox, pull out that picture and within a week he closed the deal and I tailed it up there with his girlfriend and I went up there for about a year to get the family business started.

Speaker 2:

Really.

Speaker 1:

And then went out on my own once I was a year old. So that was it, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So you bought the town.

Speaker 1:

There was a sign going in welcome and the name of the place is called Cocacho and there was a sign we put up and it said welcome to Cocacho. Population three, because it was him, his girlfriend and me we were the only three registered voters, population three yeah, so what year was that?

Speaker 2:

It wasn't a sprawling metropolitan.

Speaker 1:

It was God had to be early 80s.

Speaker 2:

Really yeah. So where is it at now?

Speaker 1:

He sold it and him and my stepmother were driving motorcycles all over the country. They retired.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then they were taking Spanish classes. We're going to talk about my dad instead of my books. We was taking Spanish classes in Fort Lauderdale and they were going to drive the motorcycles to Belize and they're in class and somebody in the class was selling a sailboat and my pops was like, wow, he's wanted to sell. So they got rid of the motorcycles, got the sailboat and then they were living on the sailboat and I used to take off because I was real close to my pops and we used to jump on the boat, me and him.

Speaker 1:

My stepmother was a pain in the butt on the boat because she was always, you know, nervous about things, but I'd jump on the boat. We'd take off for weeks at a time through the Bahamas, up and down the Florida coastline.

Speaker 2:

What size sail was it?

Speaker 1:

40, 40 footer.

Speaker 2:

Oh, just a tiny one, call it tiny, no it was good size. We.

Speaker 1:

it was a Morgan, so it was kind of made for charters, so it was well, yeah, it's 40 foot, but it was.

Speaker 2:

It was pretty spacious.

Speaker 1:

If it's just you, and I mean, what the hell? Yeah, and he was a drinker too, scotch man. Ah, anyway, so that's my family history there.

Speaker 2:

No, it isn't. That's a tiny little portion.

Speaker 1:

Oh really.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you bought a town. Did your dad influence your writings?

Speaker 1:

at all. Wow, that's an interesting question.

Speaker 2:

I guess.

Speaker 1:

Segue to your writings. My pops wrote a book when he was at one point in his life. He was an english major and uh never published. But uh, he told me when I was young, it's amazing how things stick to you when you're young right and he said that people will always gauge how, how smart you are, your intelligence by how well you write.

Speaker 1:

So that kind of stuck with me. That was a hoodlum in high school, don't get me wrong, but I didn't get into academics, so later on in life but anyway, so kind of stuck with me so I knew it was important so you're.

Speaker 2:

You obviously ride motorcycles. Your dad and your stepmom rode yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

My pops got. I mean, my pops got me my first bike when I was 16.

Speaker 2:

Really yeah. What was it? Triumph, really yeah, and then Really.

Speaker 1:

And then what? And then it just blossomed from there and then everybody in the neighborhood rode. There was a bunch of us that rode in the neighborhood, all the kids.

Speaker 2:

Nice.

Speaker 1:

So, you know, we went through high school together, dated each other's sisters, you know.

Speaker 2:

Oh did.

Speaker 1:

You know, had our first drink together. You know that kind of thing. Yeah so we rode together, so we were really tight.

Speaker 2:

So you're ride or dies.

Speaker 1:

What's that?

Speaker 2:

Ride or dies. Ride or dies those are your guys Ride or die, ride or die, ride or die, I don't know. Your people Well, write or die I don't know your people.

Speaker 1:

Well, just, they were kids from the neighborhood.

Speaker 2:

Nice. You know, so what inspired you to become a writer?

Speaker 1:

Wow, what inspired me. So, you said that your pop said Okay. When I started college I had to take an English 101 course and I failed it miserably.

Speaker 2:

What were you going to college to?

Speaker 1:

I was going to be a budding biologist. A who Budding biologist Biology?

Speaker 2:

Science, yeah, but a buddy, a buddy, a budding Budding.

Speaker 1:

It's budding, it's kind of a term, it's just a joke. It is. If somebody's just starting to be a biologist, then they're a budding biologist.

Speaker 2:

A budding biologist, I think.

Speaker 1:

Like a flower budding.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, I'm thinking budding, but I'm thinking like buds, like weed buds, buds, tulip buds.

Speaker 1:

Anyway. So I'll stop Like a bull. Like a bull, I just what. I got into school and what Failed miserably. My teacher accused me of being dyslexic and somehow I got credit for that class and then I knew writing was important. So I took some upper level courses, but the teacher that did that I really liked a lot. I didn't have a crush on her, I had respect for her, which is different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because young men could have respect or crushes, so uh, but um and then um, I don't know. Later on it's like most of my life, I trickled into things. I don't know about you. Maybe when you were younger you decided this is what I want to do and you went for it. And me. I've trickled into everything my whole life.

Speaker 2:

Well, I had big decisions, or I had big plans, and um, they were not, they didn't happen. Okay, they didn't happen.

Speaker 1:

I never had those.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I did, but there was for multiple reasons. But here I am just still.

Speaker 1:

But I started writing for magazines, journals, health care, leadership, engine development. But everything I wrote would get published and when I was doing my undergrad I did an exchange program. Why did it?

Speaker 2:

Okay, because I know some things about publishing and what have you.

Speaker 1:

I have several friends that are in, so everything that you wrote, Everything I sent in it would get published, which would make me feel good. Why is that? Why do so? Everything that you wrote, everything I sent in it, would get published. Why would you make me feel good?

Speaker 2:

why is that? Why do you think that is?

Speaker 1:

because I worked hard at it, because I put something together that someone was willing to read, that thought it had merit.

Speaker 2:

I don't know where did how did that come from you within to make that's a huge deal. What do you know how many I mean? You obviously do. You're a writer. I can't spell the first time. Fucking cat the first time I actually had.

Speaker 1:

I got recognized for writing when I was doing my undergraduate. I was on an exchange program to the us virgin islands, in st thomas, and they had the english department, had a competition for short stories and it was between St Thomas and there's another campus on St Croix, so it was both campuses and I was a biology major and I took first place. Nice, yeah, it was. So I guess maybe it started there. And then I just, like I said, I've always written over the years, probably published 30 to 40 articles and then always wanted to do a book and I would start and stop, and start and stop, and then finally last year I said I'm going to do this and it just I started doing it so, and it's been, it's been a lot of fun.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, speaking of somebody buying a town, you were in the Virgin Islands and a guy that I grew up with here in New Braunfels. There's several tennis ranches, but the one Nukes has people that send their kids from all over the world to come and play tennis and to train and what have you? Some of the best of the best come out of this tennis ranch, and this guy and I grew up together, um, when he was a foreign exchange student came down here and his dad pretty much owns the virgin islands his dad owns the virgin islands pretty much like the airport the whole.

Speaker 2:

The he's a very, very big which I went st croix, st croix, okay, yeah, st croix is like saint thomas was decades ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like the vibe there a lot that was a long time now, long time ago, a long time ago, but it's crazy now. Saint thomas is crazy now you spend a lot of time there um, wow, yeah, I did.

Speaker 1:

I used to go after my exchange. I used to go down there all the time I had a girlfriend down there I was sweet on yeah and I went down there a lot. Um, I still had a girlfriend down there. I was sweet on yeah and I went down there a lot. I still have a friend down there. That was one of the teachers at the university, yeah, and he showed up when I did and in fact I saw Steve just about a year or so ago.

Speaker 1:

I was on the island and got to see him. I usually see him pretty regularly and text him and then some of the other professors one of the professors there on the uh at the university and he's got a distillery or beer, I think it's a brewery. He's got a brewery down there now too, so everybody some people stayed and moved on other people still there.

Speaker 1:

So, but, um, yeah, I mean I like the caribbean but I like the lesser, until he's more it's more agrarian. The closer you get to um the us, the more it's like new york really, I think. So, the virgin island, st thomas's, uh, puerto rico, it's just so that's interesting to me it is anyway the vibe has changed over the years. I don't want to put it down. I mean, some people probably love it think's paradise, but I remember it how it was decades ago. Like it is, like St Croix is now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. So writing it obviously has worked for you and you decided to do your first book, yeah, which is Not White Bread.

Speaker 1:

a memoir, let's talk about it.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it?

Speaker 1:

All right about it. Let's talk about it. All right. What do you want to know?

Speaker 2:

What inspired that?

Speaker 1:

Wow, my life, since it's a memoir.

Speaker 2:

Really yeah. So yeah, why not white bread? Why is that the title?

Speaker 1:

That's interesting because that's like one of the most common questions I get. Yeah, and I was with my bride and another couple when we're getting liquored up, yeah and uh, my wife tried to put me on the spot and said is there a story in there about me? And I said, no, you're too white bread, and white bread is a slang term for kind of plain, you know.

Speaker 2:

so that's how it got the name which is very much when I talk about things and I talk about being racist and I that is one of my how I explain things I said I'm not talking about white bread versus wheat bread or rye bread or whatever, and I always use a bread analogy on a racist terminology.

Speaker 1:

It had nothing to do with race. Mine doesn't either. White bread is just plain Right.

Speaker 2:

And that's why I always say that's when people want to. And it started with my younger son when we were having a conversation about something and it was on a bread factor Like we were probably at a sandwich shop or something ordering and, um, I, I wanted wheat bread and Garrison was ordering and he was ordering white bread and he was like why are you being so racist? And that's how it all, that's how it all came about, and he was little at the time.

Speaker 1:

So I can see how that title connects to you. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so, um. So there's nothing in there about your bride in the. But the title is not white bread because it's a memoir. So it's.

Speaker 1:

Both. Those books really kind of look at the human condition in our relationships with each other and things, experiences. You know, and I don't think the world is rainbows and unicorns, so some of my writing is a bit dark in some of those books, especially the first one. But when you, when you assemble short stories, there's a technique to it they have to flow even though they stand alone. So that first book and I've gotten some good feedback. People connect to it.

Speaker 1:

Some other people, you know I was in a good mood before I read it. Now I'm in a horrible mood and you know I'm going to cut my wrist right now. No, not that bad mood. And you know I'm gonna cut my wrists right now. No, not that bad. But uh, it's uh. Um, I try to design it so it kind of starts out and kind of puts you in a hole and then I bring you out of it at the end. If you read the stories in order, certainly if you skip around, that's not going to work. But, um, I think it has a good flow to it skip around in the book um, I mean I love short stories.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I I'm not putting the people who read long novels down at all, it's just being wedded to a book like that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I get busy and I don't have time and then you try to pick it back up again and you forget. You know, especially longer novels spend a lot of time developing characters and multiple characters.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And it's hard to get back in. So I've always enjoyed short stories because you can pick them up, read something and it's hard to get back in. So I've always enjoyed short stories because you can pick them up, read something, and there's an art to it too, because you have to introduce characters have a problem and solve it Quick and fast. Yeah, and not everybody can do that.

Speaker 2:

Some people need a lot of time. How did you find a publisher, or did they find you? There are two options.

Speaker 1:

One is get a publisher or did they find you? There are two, two options. One is get a publisher and uh, normally they take you get about two and a half percent royalties and if you sell so many thousands of books you get like five percent royalties. And it was a dirty word to be an independent author years ago, but it's more common now is it? Yeah and uh. So uh, I'm starting out now and uh, I'm starting to get a readership and we'll see how the future goes explain readership oh, a following a following.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know people talk online right and um and uh. You get reviews. And reviews are very important to books, and then you go from there, so you have to develop a base, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Nice and a readership.

Speaker 1:

So that's what I'm doing now.

Speaker 2:

So you're doing this. All this is party of one, yeah, and you just printed it and published it. Well, it's not just that I mean there's a lot to to it. There's got to be a lot. Yeah, there's a lot more to it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but you knew and you have to learn it, yeah and you knew how to do that how uh, can I say trial and error? I mean information, looked up things online, so, uh, but um, it's more common now than not for people to do indie authors, independent authors, indie authors it's very common now, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So if you had a young listener or anyone out there, for that matter that is lost, or a freshman in high school, what would be a good, solid piece of it? You can throw enough gum against the wall to where something is going to fucking stick eventually, okay. But if you've got somebody that just is literally lost and stumbling and could hang onto your shirt tail and you could give them five pieces of advice five, but if you okay, five piece of advice if somebody they want to and you, and, and you really, and you.

Speaker 2:

This kid. There's just something about this kid. This kid's been struggling, or whatever the case may be. What could you do to help them skip the 20 years or the 10 years or the? What would be that big piece of advice that you could literally help them? There's multiple pieces of advice.

Speaker 1:

One. I think, and I'm not. I understand that there are like 16 year old girls publishing books. I understand that, but I think you can't write unless you've lived.

Speaker 2:

You just said 16 yearyear-olds publishing books. What are they talking about?

Speaker 1:

I have no idea their periods. I guess it's another thing that 16-year-old girls want to read.

Speaker 2:

Their periods, or how to insert a tampon. What are we talking?

Speaker 1:

about at the age of 16? I think you have to live before you write what else.

Speaker 2:

I feel that way about these cute little, tiny little musicians that are going in and they're all of age 21, that are singing about the worst breakup song they've ever had in their entire life, like, bro, you just got your second ball hair. Yeah, what are you fucking singing about? Stop, anyways, go ahead. What?

Speaker 1:

would you tell them? What would you tell the cute little tiny? You have to live before you write.

Speaker 2:

Experience, yeah, speaks volumes.

Speaker 1:

I think you should write drunk but edit sober. There's a lot of validity to that.

Speaker 2:

Let me think about that for a second.

Speaker 1:

Write drunk, edit sober, I'm in that camp.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. Write drunk, edit sober, because a drunk rants more.

Speaker 1:

No, I think you know it's cathartic.

Speaker 2:

I think you know it's cathartic. I think you know, and not that I don't want to sound like.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to sound like an. I don't want to sound like an alcoholic. What does that word mean? It's a purge, okay, so anyway. So it's just uh, look.

Speaker 2:

I'm a camel trainer. Okay, it's okay. Smart, stupid, big little, but uh what?

Speaker 1:

uh, it's uh. Where was I now? You lost me at camel jockey. Camel jockey.

Speaker 2:

Damn right, you should see my outfit for that. Anyways, what are you going to tell these kids? Okay, like.

Speaker 1:

I said so you have to live before you write, which is important. Oh, alcohol, I'm in that camp, okay, and the thing is this is alcohol does open up your mind a little bit. Not that I drink all the time when I write, but I'm going to, and I don't know everybody's different. Some people have to sit, you know.

Speaker 1:

I sit from, you know this time to this time to write, and I'm not that I'm an emotional writer. When I'm in the mood I just sort of it just comes out and then just stay away from me. Get a good chair, comfortable chair, have a quiet place to write.

Speaker 2:

So I am an emotional decorator.

Speaker 1:

Really I so.

Speaker 2:

I am an emotional decorator Really Mm-hmm, I am Great bud, I am.

Speaker 1:

What emotion were you in when you decorated this place?

Speaker 2:

Well, so how it starts, how the emotions go, are they start with? When I get super pissed, mad, frustrated, anything on the negative side of an emotional rollercoaster, I start destroying things.

Speaker 1:

You get mad. You just seem like a person that get mad.

Speaker 2:

You cute and I love you. We'll explain that later, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That comment was dripping with sarcasm.

Speaker 2:

Oh, no, it's. It's so cute because I usually say that all the time it took Nick a very long time, twice, twice, because she was like, oh, she loves me. And then I caught her in a deal and she was like, oh, you've been being a dick this entire time. And I was like, yeah, no, it's very hard to bless your heart, kind of, yeah, it is, but no, when I get frustrated or whatever, and if you leave me alone and I need to work something out, I will either start tearing things apart rebuilding them.

Speaker 1:

But yes, I'm emotional decorator, emotional rebuilder.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But you recognize it, that's good yeah, but you recognize it.

Speaker 2:

That's good. Now I recognize a lot. That's good, yeah, that's good, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So a lot comes from emotions and you put them into yeah, without a doubt, you know when you finish writing and it's I don't want to compare it to sex, but I mean you get done and you're like exhausted. I mean you're just, you feel good, you know, once you get it down on paper.

Speaker 2:

So our mutual friend Mags talked about his casserole he made the other day as being orgasmic.

Speaker 1:

Why Cooking it or eating it?

Speaker 2:

That's both. Well, I didn't cook it, so that would have been him, max, what?

Speaker 1:

do you? Think what kind of casserole was it? What kind of casserole was it that was so orgasmic you've never had a creamy casserole.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you've never read that book yet yeah, we're definitely gonna have to the orgasmic casserole.

Speaker 1:

You know, if I see it on a menu at a restaurant, I will not order it, that's what I'm doing that's my custom.

Speaker 2:

I will not order it. I cannot wait to decorate you with noodles oh look hon, oh look hon, Orgasmic casserole yeah. Stay away from that. Would you like that double creamy, or would you?

Speaker 1:

like that yeah.

Speaker 2:

The cream on the side.

Speaker 1:

Good God.

Speaker 2:

Oh, this is so good. Yeah, anyways, anyways, yeah. So I'm an emotional decorator, you're an emotional writer?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think so, because we're both emotional people. I think everybody's emotional, aren't they?

Speaker 2:

I hope so. If they're not they've got a problem.

Speaker 1:

Problems. I just stay away from people who are stupid and mean that's like the worst combination of people.

Speaker 2:

I feel like you're my doppelganger. Stupid and mean, stupid, mean, stupid people everybody should avoid. I I usually um end up well slapping them upside the back of the head. I've grabbed I mean I. I deal with stupid, mean people at my resort all the time and I have a. My patience level at my age right now is none. It's in the negative. I have none.

Speaker 1:

That's because people have changed too. Let's face it.

Speaker 2:

They're so entitled, it's so fucking stupid.

Speaker 1:

I can't handle it. I heard a business report today and talked about hiring younger people. Now, yeah, no offense. And they said they can't stand it because they're all feel like they're entitled Of course they do. Hr stuff, it's this, that and the other thing, and every time someone walks in that's younger, they roll their eyes.

Speaker 2:

It's so bad.

Speaker 1:

It's going to be a pain.

Speaker 2:

It's bad. I heard and this is an interesting question for you, Tell me, because you're like ridiculously smart.

Speaker 1:

You think so?

Speaker 2:

I mean yeah.

Speaker 1:

See, I told you, no one's ever called me stupid. That's how I know I'm not stupid. But then that's very flattering. Thank you for saying that.

Speaker 2:

But you're, yeah, extremely intelligent. Yeah, I am not I disagree thank you thank you I have nick to make me feel smart.

Speaker 2:

She tells me all the time well, actually, she just fills in the blanks that I don't know how to fill in and makes calling Makes me look smart. Yeah, I don't take that very well. Yeah, I may be just a little redneck from New Braunfels, but what was I going to say? What was I talking about? I just went to you don't like stupid people. Patience level oh yeah, patience level. I absolutely I don't have it at all.

Speaker 1:

You know what I say.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how to get it back.

Speaker 1:

Patience is a virtue. I have no virtues.

Speaker 2:

I have none.

Speaker 1:

I have no virtues.

Speaker 2:

Zero. We had a. Every weekend is a new weekend at the resort and people come down here. You want to talk about people driving, um, driving from all over the place to come. You're very familiar with river road. You're familiar with places up and down river road, Um, and it's literally, they get off I-10 and they catch fucking stupid and it's like they plan a year in advance. They show up on the river. They don't know their name, they don't know who they are, they don't there. It's like nothing I've ever seen before and I keep thinking that it's going to get better and it just keeps getting worse and it's they fight amongst themselves. They don't necessarily start fighting with other groups that come.

Speaker 2:

Our place is very small, it's very intimate and I say last summer because we're out of season but there was a group of about 30, 35 individuals and I run the bar at my place because I can maintain the riffraff coming in and off of the water and I'm one of those. I can look this way and know what's going on. I know what's going on behind here. I know what's going on here, where we're all having a conversation and I'm filling everybody's drinks and doing I'm doing all the things. I've got my head spinning and paying attention and I can hear it. And I turn around and behind me is a group of literally 30, 35 grown ass individuals and I jumped out of the bar without thinking a beat.

Speaker 2:

I run through there and get right in the middle of it and there's a guy literally your size and he is going at this girl and I get in and the next thing I know Nick saw the whole thing, Everybody saw the whole thing and my whole team's done. I had, yeah, I had this man by his throat literally. I punched one of the guys that works for me and he was like you can't believe you hit me. I said I can't believe you're that fucking stupid, did not know not to get in my fucking way and I mean, I'm within. It was probably 15, 20 minutes. I told that guy. I said you take your ass and you go sit down, and but I just I go from zero to 200 in a matter of freaking minutes.

Speaker 1:

I'm the same way.

Speaker 2:

But I mean, I it was all done it boils up like this.

Speaker 1:

I feel like this.

Speaker 2:

And I just freaking. I mean I'm literally like the Tasmanian devil, where I just and then, everybody go returns to their assigned seating.

Speaker 1:

There's a few fights in there, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Is there Of course, what's the most wild story in your memoir? Really Wow, wow. You know, I think all of them are kind of like eh, whatever, but there's one when I was on a date in haiti and, uh, I stopped by the uh. They used to dump bodies out along the uh coast and, uh, people, I couldn't afford to pay for a grave and they would basically scrape a little bit of the earth away and then throw the bodies in there and then cover them back up. And there there was. We were driving by and you see this beautiful coastline. There used to be a club met out there and I was heading out there with my girlfriend and saw it off on the left-hand side, blue water. Everything breaks open. You see this dirt and there's a bulldozer there. No one's there. And I go what's that? And I was told what it was, so drove down there and there were bones all over and the voodoo people went there.

Speaker 2:

Why were you in Haiti? You were just going on a trip.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I was, I was working there. Oh, okay, security for the prime minister.

Speaker 2:

Just doing security for the prime Okay.

Speaker 1:

And anyway. So who are?

Speaker 2:

you, I set up. Thank you so much. Who are?

Speaker 1:

you. Thank you so much. Wow, that's a lot. I set up some human skulls like bowling pins and then took another human skull and rolled it at it like I was bowling. I'm not proud of it. I know I'm going to go to hell for it, but that's probably about the darkest story in there, and which book is that in?

Speaker 1:

That was my memoir, so yeah, so I was actually. I don't think too many people on this earth have bold human skulls. No, no, and I didn't really realize that that was now you're thinking of me differently actually. No, I'm not. He asked the question because I know obviously it's not white bread.

Speaker 2:

No, you know, I've actually known this story, but I didn't know that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, where'd you hear that story? I'm not saying okay but, anyway, but that's probably one of the darkest ones in there, I think but I didn't know it was actually in the book somebody might think it's. There's other ones that are darker, but anyway so. But like I said, I kind of bring it out of it at the end. It's not as bad. It's so like there's a flow to it anyway I want to know.

Speaker 2:

So what?

Speaker 1:

are we going to talk about now? Where camels no what no?

Speaker 2:

I want to know. So you, you haiti bulldozer ha yes that guy. I know how to spell it, I just don't say it right. I need to revisit this whole story, why? Because it is. I am so intrigued.

Speaker 1:

About what Human bones? A mass graveyard?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, death. You want to talk about death, accurate we can talk about death. You want to know what's yeah Actually.

Speaker 1:

We started this before. How old do you think you should live to?

Speaker 2:

So your time is up.

Speaker 1:

No, how old I want to hear. Personally. Now my view has changed. Personally, I thought 500 years old would be perfect. Yeah, because and my peak, physically and mentally, at 300, because then you could see what happened, what you did you know what I mean and you could get things done. But nowadays I don't think that's the right age to live to.

Speaker 2:

So obviously the aging process would have to change.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like I said, you'd max out at about 300, physically and mentally about 300, and then die at five. So you think that the current human body, if maximized from birth. No, this is just a wish. That's not just a think, it's just think. That was like a wish. I was like you know we should live to be 500. 500? Think about it. George Washington lived 500 years old. He could see what happened to the country. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you can see the fruits of your labor, what happened.

Speaker 2:

What made you think that?

Speaker 1:

I think 500 was a good round number 500. But I don't think that anymore. Why? Because I read a piece and I don't know if it's, if this is I'm not saying this exactly, but this is the way I took it and young kids right. And I remember when I was a lad somebody said ah, you know that person's 30 years old, and to me that seemed like an eternity.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean. Yes, you know. Forget about somebody that lived to be 100. You're like God. God, yeah, impressive, strong work. So it's really subjective. So you know I mean you're at a certain age, but a child would think you're you lived in eternity.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So we both lived in eternity already. Look at that Cheers. So I'm ready to go now.

Speaker 2:

No Five yeah.

Speaker 1:

So we've already lived in eternity, so it's okay if we drop dead tonight.

Speaker 2:

So why did you write a memoir with so much life ahead of you?

Speaker 1:

I was told. Remember, I told you, I had a writing professor, a woman, that I respected.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you respected. I didn't have a crush on.

Speaker 1:

You respected and she said if it's not personal, it's not worth reading Really. So that's all me. The second book, and I use an alias, Kevin Dugan, in the first book, Second book. There's still some stories about me in the second book, Kevin Dugan.

Speaker 2:

What made you use an alias? What made you use?

Speaker 1:

an alias when I was a lot. When I was younger, when I turned 16, where I lived, it was normal that all your friends got you fake ID. When you were 16, your buddies did so. That was my fake ID at 16. That was my alias.

Speaker 2:

I was the mom that bought my children the fake ID, so anyway, so 16,.

Speaker 1:

You got a fake ID and that was my alias, so I stuck with it. And besides, besides, I thought it was really weird writing about myself and using my own late, although it's funny because people think it's odd that I use an alias. But anyway, although someone I saw someone do a review and they said they said obviously the stories in this book aren't true, and I'm like and yes, they are white bread in my memoir yeah, obviously they're not true, which they are because.

Speaker 1:

White bread In my memoir yeah, obviously they're not true. Which they are, because I guess people couldn't believe that someone was pitching around human skulls on a date.

Speaker 2:

They need to take a better field trip.

Speaker 1:

They need to live a little. It must have been like a six-year-old writing books. We were out of wine. I was trying to make it straight, so you say fucking straight, I'm gonna win this bet.

Speaker 2:

Damn it seven. What inspired love to war?

Speaker 1:

wow. Um, before this went to print, I started writing that book and, uh, it just, it just all came together.

Speaker 1:

I'm really happy with that project too yeah so, uh, I looked at the first part is just relationships. I mean, and again, life isn't rainbow and you're unicorns, right? So, um, it's about relationships between men and women and, uh, ah, sons and mothers, uh, you know a variety of things and um. And then the second part is more just kind of a kind of a buoy base of stories. And then the last part is all war, and I did six combat tours.

Speaker 2:

Were you close with your mom?

Speaker 1:

Wow, my mom is in the grave Now. My mom was. I was very close to my father. My mom was I don't want to say this and make it sound negative, but she was kind of simple and I don't mean like she was yeah, I mean, you know, she worked, went home, watched television. She didn't read, she didn't travel, she didn't do anything.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, she was just there and um, after my parents split up, she never got remarried and uh, so it was. She was, but she was, um, she taught me about work ethics and she was always there as a mother, I guess, you know. So she worked hard.

Speaker 2:

Did your parents divorce young?

Speaker 1:

Um, I was, wow boy. I feel like you're my psychiatrist Not that I've ever had a psychiatrist.

Speaker 2:

Well, this is, this is not the key. Yeah, hell, yeah. So you're a nutcracker. Yeah, I need them. You're a nutcracker at heart. I need all the fucking help I can get. I think you missed your call.

Speaker 1:

Would you ask me again? You asked about my mom. How old were you when you were divorced? Oh, I was in my early teens. My parents used to fight all the time, you know, and the windows would be open and the whole neighborhood would hear and it was an embarrassment. But my father grew up and I understand it as I get older. My father just outgrew my mother. She would just outgrow her son Siblings. Yeah, really, are you going to really do?

Speaker 2:

the family thing. I mean, you just can say, you can write a book and ask these questions. What do you want to know?

Speaker 1:

Siblings. Yes, you just can say. You can say oy vey, oy vey. What do you want to know?

Speaker 2:

Siblings.

Speaker 1:

Yes, older, we're, all you know, talking about Planned Parenthood. So it was my brother. Two years later, my sister and I I'm a twin, and then two years. Yeah, wow, that's a big deal. And then, two years after that, my younger sister. So there was a time when all four of us were in high school at the same time, oh, pickles yeah, so we would date each other. That's so many fucking hormones in one house, can you imagine. Uh, no, it's okay, but my mom worked, like you know, seven days a week so she's never around, so all those you know you make a hormone you know you make a hormone.

Speaker 1:

Don't pay her, sorry.

Speaker 2:

Don't be sorry, that was a good one.

Speaker 1:

It was a good joke, wasn't it? Thank you.

Speaker 2:

That was a good one. I'm going to have to put that one in the book.

Speaker 1:

But seriously folks, is anybody here from Yonkers?

Speaker 2:

So yeah, so that's it, so yeah, so yeah, All at the same time, so um what so my parents got divorced at a very young age, or I mean I was young when my parents got divorced how old? I was um six and a girl was two wow, I was real young.

Speaker 1:

Yes, my family stayed together for the children that's so.

Speaker 2:

There's a lot of that going on.

Speaker 1:

I just I couldn't stand the fighting. I don't know if you remember it?

Speaker 2:

It was so bad. Yeah, I couldn't, I couldn't stand it Remember when I said I had a lot of therapists, they started at a very young age.

Speaker 1:

Really.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, yeah, I still got a couple, a couple two, three Ed's right. I take notes.

Speaker 1:

Really, oh, I shouldn't ask that question. You should have denied it. You're that honest.