The Rambling Gypsy

The Interrogation

• The Rambling Gypsy • Season 3 • Episode 7

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Get ready for a ride as Tiff and Kel navigate Vespa adventures, hayrides, and Halloween costume traditions. Happy Halloween, y'all đź‘»

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Music: “Blessed” by NAEMS
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Merch (coming soon): https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique

Talk With Tiff here: https://www.tiffanyfoy.com/talk-with-tiff

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Find Tiff:
Website: https://tiffanyfoy.com
Instagram: / gypsymammatiff  
Facebook: / gypsymammatiff  
TikTok: / gypsymammatiff

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Production: SIREN Studio

The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.

Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/
https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique/

Speaker 1:

I put a blessing on it. Do real. That's the metaphoric. We just put the I in iconic buzzin' like I'm electronic. Ah yeah, I put a blessing on it. See me drippin' in it 24-7 on it. I'm just bein' on a star, holy water drippin', drippin' from my neck to my creps, so I'm too steppin' on it like.

Speaker 2:

Hi friends, hey everybody, guess who's back. That's a good one. It's Tiffany Floyd with the Ramblin' Gypsy Podcast. We are back in our she-shed and Kel is back with us. We have some big, exciting news. It's been a minute since we've been problem-solving and talking about all the things. Oh, you know, I hate that when you've got adults on your days off and shit like that and I've got to go do doctor's appointments instead of coming to hang out with you and talk this shit it is.

Speaker 2:

But I'm here today, I know, and I'm so glad, welcome back. So we have talked about our relationship a lot and we've been really good friends for a very long time. And we all know that I really don't have a whole lot of girlfriends, and you don't either and we have this kind of dynamic, this kind of click, and we're both pretty special. We're sassy as shit, we're mean as hell and we but we have a lot of fucking fun doing it. We do Amen. But um, when I first introduced you to Nick and you guys have all heard me talk about Nick and um, we started our very first group chat nick and um, we started our very first group.

Speaker 2:

chat nick literally turned around, threw her phone up in the air or on the floor, like a two-year-old that would just say what you're friends with, this bitch, uh-huh. And she said she has a fucking green phone. And I was like I said well, nick, it is really. I really like her, I do and I it's a it and it's a sacrifice that I've had to make for a very long time People say like they scream people on dating, like on date websites, and then if their person is agreeing they're like sorry, off the table.

Speaker 2:

Like it's a deal breaker. I didn't realize it was such a thing. I just we've been telling you for 15 years. Galaxy for so long. It's hard to change things when you're growing like this.

Speaker 1:

Well, guess what?

Speaker 2:

But then my friends dog me enough and my kid pressured me into it Thank you, baby Jesus and my phone started tripping out one more goddamn time. I said I can't do it. I can't do it the last two weeks when Nick said there was an update or some nonsense happened. Nick said there was an update or some nonsense happened, and so we all got our update and it was. It allows the green people to heart or thumbs up or thumbs down or give an exclamation no. So what would happen is when you would do that, it would break it all down again and yeah, and then it would say Blackwell, kelly Garnierier, like the shampoo, hearted your message that says I love you. So by the time I got all this, I got another 75 page message on my phone and all it says is that you put a heart on the fucking thing.

Speaker 2:

Okay, well, that's why I really hated being in group chats, because I can't get out of group chats anyway. It just doesn't work. It was incompatible with life and I'm so thankful that I redeemed myself. So this was the last straw. So when this update happened, it's left up my phone more. Yeah, and I couldn't even send you a message at all. Period. Not an SMS, that's what it was. It pushed me over the limit. Not an SMS, not a. That's what it was. It pushed me over the limit I couldn't take it anymore.

Speaker 2:

It was freaking horrible All the pressure and then listen, I'm learning, I'm doing well with it.

Speaker 3:

It's not that hard.

Speaker 2:

No, it's so.

Speaker 1:

It thinks of everything honestly it thinks for you, you know I don't have to do much anymore.

Speaker 2:

Once a login just the one time. Now it to log in just the one time. Now it's like oh, you know me. Yeah, cool nick. My phone knows nick more than me I. I tried to talk to it and it goes. I don't recognize your face. Nick grabs a hold of it get over here. What's going on? Get over here, unlock my shit google where you been all day. You're late today. What?

Speaker 1:

you doing right checking, in right checking in exactly.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I put my fucking bifocals on because I can't see a damn thing and it looks at me and says, no, I hand it to nick because I'd throw a temper tantrum.

Speaker 1:

I feel like I should I'm really learning all the people that are like celebratory from you like oh my god, you're blue now.

Speaker 2:

I just saw how long has it been like they're acting like I did a whole thing like I'm, but you did well. I'm welcome, I'm happy to be here at all y'all. Thank you, I feel like we should have had like a like a welcome home with me like a welcome. Y'all are real mvps.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the, to the yeah good side I mean, I've had like one facetime in like a whole week. I was like roly's, like now we can facetime. And I'm like, more importantly, when me and riley were talking about it, he was like now we can finally track her location. That's exactly what he said.

Speaker 2:

Yes, the other night we did cheat. Him, stopped at the bar to drop people off. He said y'all going to stay at the whale long or are you going to come on home? And I'm like why, the only one tracking my ass is my kid? No, no, no, no, no, Come on now.

Speaker 1:

You know me better than that, that's for safety reasons.

Speaker 2:

Do you remember our conversation in the keys take me to bed or lose me forever. Do you know what? Every night we had that conversation. Yeah, Not even I, but it was occurred.

Speaker 3:

It came out of your mouth.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay. You're the one that said or lose me forever. I might get lost forever. I know, and now we can find you. Thank forever, I know, and now we can find you thank oh, thank goodness, I see what y'all did. I see what y'all did yeah, yeah, now I'll never get lost.

Speaker 1:

No, that's not true, but at least we know when you do find my phone, that we can find you and your phone it's a y'all may or may not be together, but it's kind of, it's a package deal.

Speaker 2:

I have to set that party up on a fucking group chat or some shit we can actually name our chat now okay, all right, we're here for it you know so that's the big thing in my life. You know I love a good name girl. We'd be nicknaming a motherfucker real quick real quick it's so fun. Why tiktok over there texting you? Oh yeah, I haven't talked to her in a long time. I think she's just like a famous realtor now. She's like too busy.

Speaker 1:

Did you know that she was in real estate? Uh?

Speaker 2:

no, you know, I think maybe I heard you said did she say that um about 7500? Times that people will tell you what they do in less than two minutes. Sometimes it's when people ask me you go. People will tell you what they do In less than two minutes Sometimes.

Speaker 3:

It's when people ask me what I do, I just tell them they're going to tell you a lot Nothing, because clearly that's what I've been told that I do is absolutely nothing.

Speaker 2:

Just saying, just throwing it out the window. I'm just like you know what, at the undisclosed location. I'm like well, I don't want them to waste it on me. Someone over there might really enjoy what you're talking about. Have you pumpkin patched? Yet we did. We went early on a blind date from Rowan's friend at school, brought me home a mom number. Shoot, okay, we have to tell the story because it's adorable. Yeah, uh, yeah. So rowan comes home and he's like we need to hang out with my friend. He uh lives out in the southern neighborhood. I got his mom's number. I was like I don't know his mom. All right, it's fine, I send her a text. Hi, it's rowan's mom. Blah, blah, we try to hang out.

Speaker 3:

Is that really what you said? This is rowan's mom I'm gonna need to see.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you don't I don't even have that phone. There's probably no evidence. Actually it's on there because you cannot lie on the podcast kelp okay, receipts, receipts, all the things. Uh, so no, she's like let's go to landa park on saturday. And I was like you know, I'm from here, like landa park on saturday is not like real chill I'm gonna be chasing the kid around unless you're showing up with 50 to 75 people in a truck full of hot buns no, nope, not doing it ruffles. So then we go out to the pumpkin patch.

Speaker 2:

We got there a little bit early. Natty boom baddie. Um, that's natty light for all of you people that don't know what I'm talking about. Some keystone natty boom baddie, that's what you call it yeah, you ain't never heard natty boom, baddie uh I think, it does call it. Yeah, you ain't never heard Natty Boom Batty, I think it is called it the beast. No, that was Milwaukee's best. Yes, oh Lord.

Speaker 1:

I was just like, so little.

Speaker 2:

It was like a kid trigger or something. I remember fetching beers from my dad in the garage, something I thought would be more entertaining for me, for children, that I'm not just standing around chasing my kid being bored. Stop throwing rocks. Don't do that. Get off of this. You know like that's not real and I don't know her, so I don't know if she's going to be cool or annoying or I'm going to ditch out or what.

Speaker 2:

So get to the pumpkin patch and I'm like ron's like oh, there and wait for the mom I said I don't even know what she looks like, I don't know what he looks like, I don't know anything. And he's like, well, she has black hair. And I'm like, okay, I'll walk up and run up and uh, you know, she's she. Uh, she's black and she does have black hair I'm like.

Speaker 2:

but I thought Rowan never even thought to mention the fact that that would be an identifying characteristic or whatever, and she was adorable and I loved her and I was like you know, this is real risky because like I don't really hang out with like a lot of other moms and whatever. Like I'm so glad you're cool. We had like the best time complaining about these emotional, I think it is so precious in today's world, and this is what it is the innocence factor of Rowan Eight yeah, he's eight, yes, and how things are so troubled and so concerning in schools and everything that is happening all over the world and y'all know that I use racist and I always say racist, but y'all know I'm not talking about.

Speaker 1:

and I always say racist, but y'all know I'm not talking about anybody on the other side of the lake or whatever stop whatever, yeah, um is I just the thought of him going.

Speaker 2:

Mom, she has black hair, she's the mom with black hair. There's a lot of people out here with black hair baby. He says I have black hair, yeah. And I'm like there's a lot of people out here with black hair baby. He says I have black hair, yeah. So I'm like how broad a range is this, you know? Then I'm like uh wait this little guy. So stinking cute, yeah, and she's like man girl. You know those mom dates if they don't work out. That's a one-time deal.

Speaker 2:

So, like you know, she was very I actually had a blast.

Speaker 3:

That's so good.

Speaker 2:

Did the sun drop springs? They got a spooky. We didn't do the spooky after hours thing, but they got it set up. Yeah, pretty good out there Corn pit those kids love a damn corn pit, right Burying themselves. And I'm like, try not to be helicopter mom Also, I'm enjoying my conversation and then I'm like not his mouth, not his ass, not in his mouth, not in his ass, don't put it in your nose.

Speaker 1:

Don't cover his face.

Speaker 2:

It's in his ears. I'm a math teacher. I'm off today. Rowan's trying to hog all the little toys because it's like a sandbag.

Speaker 3:

They have the dozer.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they got the dozer. He is the dozer. I call him Road Dozer. Yeah, that is appropriate. Don was pulling corn out of my vehicle and my house for the next like two weeks, just when I thought it was gone. More in the washing machine, you know, corn Everywhere. Everywhere Seemed like a good idea, it's kind of like hay in my house.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's never ending.

Speaker 2:

And that's all seasons. It's not for decoration, probably somebody was about to eat that we we're taking, um, we're taking birdie and steiner pumpkin patching tomorrow. So let the photo shoot come in. How many outfits are you bringing her? I am so excited like you have no idea. So usually, you know, on wednesdays is gypsy and drake day and I always go to the kids house and keep her and and what have you? Well, rye, and this is so impressive, and of course you know. But I think it's really cool because rye, my daughter-in-law, being a first-time mom, um, had rocking the shit out of that holy pickles. This child, are you taking her on a field trip? She, so yeah. So when, right, right, we had to go um? She, so yeah.

Speaker 2:

So when, right, right we had to go um bachelorette party right, okay, and I was thinking that was a big deal. It was on a plane going to another state, kind of bachelorette party there was no, coming back I mean, you can always make it.

Speaker 2:

She's got numbers yeah, oh, the hairdresser, yeah, so she, um, she does this and gage's gotta to go to work, so, and you know, I've got the whole nursery set up for her and I just I've been waiting for this moment from the day that they told me that we were going to have a baby birdie and so she'd drop her off. And, my goodness, she's never really been out of the house.

Speaker 2:

She's been in the car seat to go get her shots, she's three months old, right Around the cul-de-sac, yeah, but this was her first experience of anything outside of their home. And that little girl, what a place to explore, seriously, with the goat, the dogs, the high ceilings, the I get little. Everything was so different. Yes, and she never. I, not one peep, not one, nothing I mean happy she was.

Speaker 2:

It was unbelievable, nick, and I went the night before and picked her up because she really doesn't like a whole lot of things that riley and them have, and I was like, well, I don't really have like a bouncy seat or anything, just to I can't't hold her the whole time, you know, right and so we went and went and ran into Tarjay and um grabbed her a swing. She really doesn't like her swing at home, but but she likes like fast movement and she loves lights and sounds.

Speaker 2:

And so and you, I've sent you tons of videos, but we got her this little swing. It was super reasonable. It's like this intelligence or something is the name. We'll pull it up, but it's so it has a little spinning light like a little saucer on top and it's got a good, nice swing and she loves her swing, yes. And then her little cow she played in her room. She's like we're going to have a whole other room over here. She's like we're going to have a whole other room over here. It was so fun, we had so much fun, literally the best time. And so I had her back-to-back days at the house. And so this Wednesday, with Riley being home, she said you know, I think it's probably time that I get used to being at home without her. So this is going to be a huge Wednesday. And not to mention, me and Birdie get to play with Steiner and his Tia, because they go on field trips every Wednesday and they get to go and do. And so she took Steiner pumpkin patching last week or the week before?

Speaker 1:

Do you know?

Speaker 2:

where you're going to go. Here in town we are going to go visit as many as we can. That's a good idea.

Speaker 3:

They're all open, I mean yeah it's right, it's prime time it was really hard for me to decide that I was going to go to somebody else's pumpkin patch, because I feel like I'm cheating on mine that I used to have because I was so proud of it.

Speaker 2:

You brought it up because it was incredible and people still ask me they still ask me is she doing it?

Speaker 2:

I know, I just got messages again this year and y'all, it breaks my heart that I don't do it when I did it. At the time and you may have heard me talk about it before um, renee and Steve Trevino, captain Evil, their son was the inspiration behind me starting the pumpkin patch, and he is now eight years old. And he it was. Yeah, he was quite a patch. They still live in Cali and he was six months old at the time and there wasn't a place for her to take him. And so I, in two weeks through together, imagine my pumpkin patch. I have an amazing team and when I have a wedding, yeah, tomorrow, yeah, it's fine, come over, are you?

Speaker 2:

yeah, he can do the splits too. Yeah, yeah, just happens to be my cousin. You know who you are? Yeah, exactly, randallson, yeah, but yeah, so, um, we are. So I'm super excited. Wait, take, I'm gonna try not to be racist.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna try not to be, go to other pumpkin patches and just criticize every single thing go. They should have, could have, would have the little ones, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I got her a little outfit. She went, got her ears pierced this weekend. It's big things. I bawled like a baby. It's happening, sweetheart, oh you were. It hurt you more than her. Probably. It was so sad, big heart, give me that baby, I'm out. But she literally didn't even whimper. But the first one she was like, um, something happened that didn't feel so good. And then there was a second one. She was like and I said give me her. We ran outside and then, boom, everything was golden. Everything was golden. That's a big deal, big things happening. Kel got a blue, went to the blue side. Birdie got her ears pierced. We're doing big. We're going on field trips tomorrow. We're making moves, making big moves, yeah girl.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So you went to the Cheatham Street deal. I did the 50th anniversary, so this is really cool. So if you guys don't know about Cheatham Street Warehouse, it's in San Marcos, what's that road that? It's on Cheatham, it's by the track LBJ, lbj and Cheatham. It is right, I just parked there.

Speaker 3:

I know what it is by the tracks?

Speaker 2:

No, you don't. It's because your damn car told you what is it? Guadalupe, on the other side. Listen I mean, I'm telling you, it's surrounded by high-rise apartments, so what?

Speaker 3:

happened.

Speaker 2:

It's this little dive bar. Let's give a shout-out to Kent Finley. Yes, oh man, the man, the legend.

Speaker 3:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

What will they do when it's leveled and paved? I mean, I hope that never happens. It's happening, it's all happening. They're just pushing it all out. You see all these people moving in. I don't like it. I don't like it either, but he was able to purchase, so Randy owns it now and he was able to purchase there used to be a thrift shop. She's talking about Randy Rogers, you guys, that's who owns. Owns Cheatham Street.

Speaker 1:

Randy Rogers bands, if you don't know them.

Speaker 2:

Kept stage. It was amazing when did they? Put the outside stage. He purchased the thrift shop next door and got it, and now it's full of TVs, a full another service bar, so now he has the whole back. It was incredible. It sounds like it was extremely organized and very well put together, because that was when the boys said that they were playing and everybody's been. We've all been liking and cheering and following and spreading the word.

Speaker 1:

I was very surprised when it wasn't like oh, get off me, you could get a beer fairly quickly.

Speaker 2:

You could find your friends. I mean, it was very cool.

Speaker 1:

Because they had a blue phone or what was it?

Speaker 3:

Okay, probably they was tracking me.

Speaker 2:

That's how they kept running into me or something I don't know. Or it was just you being you and you just going. You know, I sat at that damn Verizon store so long I felt like I hope that stress.

Speaker 3:

It was like a breakup. I said I'm breaking up with somebody and she was like yeah, your husband and I'm like listen, babe, Nice catch.

Speaker 2:

If you can't beat him, join them.

Speaker 1:

Fucking join them.

Speaker 2:

I'm fighting for what? This phone don't even work. What am I fighting?

Speaker 1:

for what are?

Speaker 2:

you fighting for you're. It's hard. I don't like a lot of change, and I like it to be when I don't either.

Speaker 2:

I don't like change at all, it's you know it's taken a lot at this age learning curve and all that. I'm over it, I'm fine and I have a little guy that can fix it for me, right? Um, yeah, change my wallpaper back. What happened here. Bring back the shag, okay. So the one complaint that I have is um, and wait, stop. You didn't ask me for complaints. No, are you one week into this gig?

Speaker 1:

uh, yes okay, now I'm just want to clarify like 10 days.

Speaker 2:

She's a-weeker on the blue side. Apparently, somehow my phone decided to send Facebook friend requests to people that were like mutual friends. Like they all, we have mutual friends. First of all, in the defense of your phone the phone didn't send it, the fake book sent it. Okay, either way, something had happened that all of a sudden, and then I can't put a post that's like sorry, I didn't send you a friend request. It's my fucking new phone.

Speaker 2:

Reselling t-shirts too Cause then that's just rude, but it's like friends of friends, so. But I'm like so-and-so, accepted your friend request, so it's. And I'm like what the actual fuck is happening, like you know what Maybe happened. It's fine, maybe that. And they were like ding, ding, ding, ding. Everybody wants to be your friend. That's too much, well, great, that's too many friends for today. I'm not out here looking for friends y'all to name because I'm a nice girl. We know you want somebody to kick in the shins, that's right, or you want me to uh, no, no.

Speaker 2:

I was gonna say you want me to drag a dead fox out of the road, I will offer. I did not want to do it, I'm sorry. We were on our way to an undisclosed location this morning. Yes, we were, and pulled up and there was a dead fox on the road. It was a beautiful fox and your car's much too low. We couldn't go around. I said I'm going to like get out and get it by the tail or something.

Speaker 2:

She said oh no, roll up the windows, I'm calling somebody. Yeah, hey, come out here and get this box out of the road and I said oh, you know, it is pretty nice girl that you sound very mean right now and that's not how I said it.

Speaker 2:

Okay, can we hear your version? Hey, wet, what you doing? He's? Well, I'm filling out some paperwork. And I said well, where? At? I said are you like across the street? He said yeah. And I said would you mind? Where? At? I said are you like across the street? He said yeah. And I said would you mind coming over and pull? There's a dead fox in the middle of the road and really don't want to jump out and get it. Would you mind coming over and getting it? And then he, within two seconds he was right there?

Speaker 1:

Yes, he did All I said. Was you said I'm?

Speaker 3:

going to call somebody.

Speaker 2:

Then I just asked him if he'd cut that tail and hang it a tree and dry it so I can put it on my hat because it's real pretty, because it's so pretty I'm like, can we just take a second? I said I should take a picture. She's like I got one on my blue phone, it's gonna be so easy to send it to you now you think we can save that tail.

Speaker 2:

And he's like yeah, I know what you mean by that, I'm gonna take care of that. If you didn't see it, because you didn't come to our VIP tent at the Uno Rios Festival. Yeah, exactly no, she had to excuse me while I burp out some gas and nonsense because I'm a little perturbed right now, but you chose to go garage selling and picking instead of coming to see how nice our VIP tent was. We worked so hard on it, it was so beautiful. Y'all waited to confront me on real life, on this shit, huh well, and the point of my story is that you didn't get to see the fox tail hanging off the back of my vespa.

Speaker 2:

That all the club members to see, I saw you were no prospect, no more. No, got me a badge. I mean a patch, shit's legit. I had way too much fun.

Speaker 1:

They're not trying to get into our club. We got patches.

Speaker 2:

I can't go all the way out there right now. Why were you scared. Why were you a mess? I just shopped all morning and then started drinking and then I was like you would have fit perfectly in with everyone else out there. I was like I'm probably going to be on my worst behavior and Once again, you would have fit perfectly with everyone else out there. Let me tell you what they ain't never seen. You ain't, they ain't never seen a vip girl no they, they, they're not.

Speaker 2:

They're nice as long as you're on their squad. That pretty much goes for, you know well, let me tell you, when we did a um, a intro ride, where they escorted me from our place at the resort to the uno rios rally, and the guilt is like is it visible? Can you see? Like my?

Speaker 3:

as it should.

Speaker 2:

Be okay, just sorry so they rode you in. Yeah, you know, I'm very proud of my stereo that I've wired on my vespa, all by myself and music video.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, so I'm cruising down river road on my Vespa and I'm playing rock set. You got the look. Oh yeah, you got the look. Yes, so I'm just jamming and and I got my little phone deal I put on there too. It holds my phone right here so I can somebody's calling. I can just hit the speaker button and talk, cause I got my little phone deal I put on there too. It holds my phone right here so I can somebody's calling. I can just hit the speaker button and talk, cause I got the gentlemen that that we got the best from, gave me every helmet, every windshield. So I got a nice little tall windshield on there and a road tripper.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, so I can hear and talk and have a nice little combo with whoever and I'm cruising around and I'm thinking. I just want to make a statement. You know, there's all these biker club games I mean I'm going to say I got tats. You know, and I know too many Vespa people. I look legit, yeah, and so the song is going and I'm trying to hit that verse. The good part.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And every time I keep going and I'm thinking she's got the look and I'm ready for that part, and then I'm not close enough yet. So I got to hit the rewind button. I got to hit the rewind button, I hit it three times and I was like I have so missed this song, like the energy. So by the time I pulled into my resort I was like I definitely had the look. And then I saw these bikers. I didn't have shit. My fox tail tucked in like a cold little pee, pee, yep, shrunk right on up too. I scooted on in.

Speaker 2:

They're all lined up they got, I mean you was like holy pickles. What in the vagina have I got myself?

Speaker 2:

into unlike anything they have ever seen before. Clearly, but just not on the scene. So I spin all the way around, cut right through all of the horsepower and all this freaking testosterone and, yep I zipper. All I needed was my oogah. That's the only freaking thing. And if I wouldn't have been so shocked or whatever, I probably would have hit my little horn. But I didn't have been so shocked or whatever, I probably would have hit my little horn. But but I didn't. And so I came around the corner and stopped. Mind you, I had a jesus candle in one of my saddlebags With my picture on it.

Speaker 2:

Actually it's my picture With your picture. Yep, I had me a Roadie In, yeah, in something. I couldn't drink it and drive it because it was back there. Because it's illegal, right, so it ended up. We don't do that. When we do, we just tell everyone it's fine, you break at any given time.

Speaker 1:

Solid advice.

Speaker 2:

So it's back there. And then my foxtail is back there, I put fringe on my bike and I'm just thinking, yeah. And then I pull in and oh my Lord. And so, yeah, my buddy Mags comes up and he's like, hey, are you good? And I was like I don't know anymore. Hey, walk with me, dude, I'm not real sure, I'm just going to stay right here. And so then it's all planned out. So do you want to be in the middle? Do you want to be in the middle? Do you want to go first? I was like I don't know. I don't know Right now I'm a little nervous.

Speaker 1:

I was just going to walk up looking cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and y'all were going to follow. So they get this whole plan regional captain somebody, the boss, the big guy, and then the other one, and then the decision makers. They have a little meeting. The other ones respect, they know not to step into this meeting. I'm over here shaking, just waiting to find out when you're supposed to walk in like a dog shit wait for the signal yep, exactly good.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I'm getting my nerves are on and I'm thinking what in the blue hell? Why am I freaking? What is happening to me right now? Yeah, so all of a sudden, one dude screams mount up and I was like I'm already mounted. Where do I go from here? Where are my people? We cruise on up. I have my speaker on my radio radio. Yeah, they put me next to the biggest dude you've ever seen in your entire life. He wouldn't even fit through this front door.

Speaker 2:

The biggest harley you've ever seen, the loudest engine you've ever heard and the loudest stereo ever and I was like, okay, everything's fine, could that be the caboose? Everything's fine. And we, they did, and they escorted us down the road and it was so freaking cool and so freaking fun. We got some drone footage and we got some, but that was sorry I missed. I never thought that I would be that intimidated or have to tuck your foxtail. Oh, I didn't have to tuck it, we shrunk, I mean we're just saying it shrunk, I shrunk, my balls shrunk my balls shrunk, y'all shrunk.

Speaker 1:

You come in loud and proud. I was like what the hell just happened to me?

Speaker 2:

Tough crowd in here. Bro, this is a good time to talk about the word of the day. Oh yeah, we like to be doing that word of the day? What's that word of the? Day, because this is going to fit in perfectly. The word of the day today is a mini hoo-ha, mini hoo-ha. Yeah, the description is. It is a hidden descript of a tiny vag, a vagina. It's a little vajayjay. It's a tiny vagina, tiny vagina well, that's what happened to me.

Speaker 2:

When I pulled in I had a my my hoo-ha went to a mini hoo-ha. The minute I pulled in and saw big balls and cow town were all rolled up at gypsy roof resort and I was like, oh fuck, everything's gonna be fine. I need to put a should I have worn a shinier helmet. I I don't wear fucking helmets because I'm claustrophobic. Okay first of all. But I'm thinking should do I need to pack my pipes, do I need to put some? I need oh hold on. I got some more bling.

Speaker 1:

I could probably put on long shorts on here, some some shit.

Speaker 2:

I'm already at a 250 hp. That's impressive for a best bet. I've seen you do it barefooted. The oldest gentleman that you're right with a flat tire yeah, that was a good time that was a cold ass act you should have shoes on she should have a lot of things on she don't listen.

Speaker 3:

Lucky, I had clothes on, you're not wrong.

Speaker 2:

The neighbors were it's lucky or not, it's a whole here. I come, consider yourself lucky. Yeah, we should. We need to take our hoa tickets into our neighborhood. Oh, we should do it in yours, let's do it. Oh, because there is some fucking violations. Mint green and, uh, chocolate chip that's all I see when I see that house mint green and chocolate I want to meet the family the, the little boy's parents, that cruises around with his little glasses on and they're about this thick.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he's got the little bicycle. He's that cruises around with his little glasses on him. They're about this thick. He's got the little bicycle. He's on a two wheel bicycle and he is adorable. He looks like the cutest Dennis the menace.

Speaker 1:

And you can just see like I look real big.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he knows everybody. Well, clearly he's out there talking to old ladies petting their dog in the middle of the year. I'm like well, and every time I see him riding he's his head's turned around completely backwards. He's got no and he's going straight forward. His bike's going this way. He's like I bet we could give him a deal. I do, you see, like driving under candy consumption or something like a ducc, he might drink with him energy drinks. Who knows them little kids? Who knows what they tried?

Speaker 1:

but I don't mean his parents.

Speaker 2:

What do they just say? Like I only met her once, I know that he has parents. Well, when he's over there on y'all side of the neighborhood, when I've seen him driving to wherever he comes from, it is some sketchy. It's a it's miles the kid is. I bet he's got some thighs. Yeah, he's always on the go man running them streets. Him and rowan know each other. Oh yeah, oh, that's a disaster waiting to happen, you better believe it. I can see them on Camau County busted page right now we just busted two 8 year olds that were.

Speaker 2:

And you're lucky all that, all them Halloween decorations, by the way, that I got when I was out, a thousand skeletons.

Speaker 3:

The reason why you didn't show up at the door. Rowan has so much spirit.

Speaker 2:

He wants everything out there and he's like Mom. Nobody on our street did it better than us. This, this is how you do Halloween and Christmas. Mom, just wait for Christmas. I'm like can you just enjoy, like in the season that we're in right now, like go out in the street, stand across, look at all your decorations, enjoy acid. If those skills this is so pot kettle right now, then this is so. I'm like the way to what if the you, if those skulls were in someone?

Speaker 1:

else's yard.

Speaker 2:

He would have been stealing them. But now he's out there doing a head count, literally like they've all got names and name tags. He goes we got that ring camera, mom, I'll get this one. Like right by the sidewalk I'm waiting for him to come. Let somebody. Well, he's gonna be disappointed, because last year I really did it up and so far, the only thing that I put out is my they already said where's all.

Speaker 1:

Where's all the singing guys?

Speaker 2:

the singing guys do the guitar, the one, the guitar dude. He's still listen, it's okay you did it real big, maybe not so much. Maybe christmas you did that big too. So look, no pressure, you do whatever you want to do. Christmas is gonna be epic. Me and nick are already talking about the whole uh your tiny person cannot shout demands just yet.

Speaker 3:

So uh, have you heard okay yeah, which one are you talking about?

Speaker 2:

nick, are you talking about birdie? I was talking about baby. Yeah, because she speaks very good english. Nick, nick shout some things, okay, yeah, like she did the first episode. What do you mean? Why are we here? We didn't know what to say I was like I will be. I don't know you told me when I die she is going to hear me from the clouds up above going. What do you mean? Why are we here? You're haunting is what you're saying.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you damn right I'm going to be the one when they go, I ain't going away.

Speaker 1:

that easy.

Speaker 2:

You know who that was, that funny cloud that just blew through here, and, yeah you, a stupid name. That was gypsy. How does that even happen? I just fell in the mud. I just dropped my drink, pissed about it, you know why. So what are we doing for halloween? It's on a thursday, right this year. I have to work the first half of the day, but not I. I think I've got my costume semi put together. I haven't even started working on it, so. So no, you don't. That's what I mean. So I've got. I've got. You have your part done, which means that you sent me the text idea and a couple of little things that we can probably make work. Well, I haven't dressed up in a few years, which is really weird, because we, jeremy and I used to always dress up every day.

Speaker 2:

So but that's true. Yeah, you and Nikki said I should dress up as a goat herder, a gypsy goat herder.

Speaker 1:

you said that was Nikki's idea.

Speaker 2:

That's what you do every day I dress like that every single day. I think I should change it up for the festive holiday. Okay, well, I mean. So, we're doing Scooby-Doo.

Speaker 3:

Okay, guess who I am, hmm.

Speaker 2:

Daphne. Get off. Get out. That's an insult. Get out. I thought you were trying to shock us. First of all, have you ever seen me wear heels or any kind of anything? You know I fall, I know, but I fall barefooted flat on my damn face. Okay, in flip-flops or boots, it can be arranged. No, I'm shaggy. I know myself as well. That should have clearly been my first guess. Yes, we should have taken a fucking poll. What? Wait till you see my bottom bells? I got.

Speaker 3:

I can corduroy a nice shade of green.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, no. They're like a like a like a burnt orange kind of deal and my my t-shirt's green shaggy, yeah, so I can't get my dreads put back in until after other people participating, so it will be obvious okay, maddie's fred and megs is Daphne.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and Tiger. I was like, wait for it, who gets to participate? So Tiger is Is gonna get painted, yep. And we have a whole. Her outfit came in the other day. She's got her reggae hat with some nice dreads. She's got her tie-dye shirt. They're gonna tie-dye her all up. She's got her some roundies. So what are we doing for Halloween? Whatever the fuck we want, dress like that, you damn right, I just mean like we're going to go Well, you got a big hood, I got a small hood.

Speaker 1:

But people come to ours in hay rides and I mean yeah they come through the whole people kind of sit out in my neighborhood in the driveways people pull through in the wagons with the kegs and the lot of, I feel like people are old it's such a good time hmm,

Speaker 3:

well so we need to figure out yeah yeah, I'm down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, shut off the lights and bring the candy. So did you just say you tell everybody what you're gonna be? Why?

Speaker 1:

because I've told you to. That's why I'm like wait, it was gonna be a surprise, my name is kelly garnier, like the shampoo.

Speaker 2:

And today I'm this episode. I'm gonna reveal my halloween costume, yeah, so I think we're gonna do um overboard the old school movie Overboard. Now I'm going to be Goldie Hahn and Shiloh's already got him a real sweet and love it, and, uh, it's going to be a good time. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hahn. I love that movie. It was good, so I've just been stocking all the outfits last year, me and Rowan were top gun. Oh, it was so good, it was fun we did the deal at the lake.

Speaker 3:

It was so good fly suits on. Oh, we did, I was, it was real good we were cute.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't remember what I did last year y'all were bonnie and clyde.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, I dressed you the wedding, the hollow wedding.

Speaker 2:

Yes, holly joe yeah, you did get married on the damn halloween the real, you did it was a full-on deal, and so we took rowan to the lake to do the big deal, that's right that's a huge deal if you guys are in new brumfels or any surrounding counties, canyon lake, canyon lake area they do a huge block party so they shut the streets completely off and it ends um games and prizes and all that shit.

Speaker 2:

I mean it is, it is a full on experience. And yeah, I mean we go through tons and tons of candy. They've got um last year. So do we want to do that or we just want to boss man cooked in front of our liquor store.

Speaker 2:

Um, we got which I know you're still mad at me about and she loves bringing up this shit. Well, they, there's a little fishing store there and I should probably know the name, but I don't and we will find out. But there's a little fishing store. It's on the right hand side if you're going towards whitewater and it's a bait, it's a bait house, and so he has this cool little deal and you throw the golf ball into the cup with the fishy in it and then you win, and then you get the fishy. So rowan won the fishy and it's just like being the good tia gypsy that I am when you send your kid with me.

Speaker 2:

He might come home with a live animal.

Speaker 1:

Yep and be grateful.

Speaker 2:

It was a fish, yeah honestly, I think that's how the conversation, and then I had to like replace it. Yeah, you called me one afternoon and you're like guess what I'm doing I'm going to the fucking fish store because this fucking ghetto ass fish that you had. That was like a carnival fish. Sometimes they don't make it and sometimes they, but you got it. I had one that lived for like four years and I was like these come on.

Speaker 1:

This is the late kill, oh man, it made it two, three days, yeah. And then, of course, he's devastated.

Speaker 2:

I want a fish and gypsies want me to fish. And this fish and gypsies want me to fish and this I got it my new pet. He named it. I forgot the name. It was real serious. That's rude.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, fish you had to do a funeral.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was a whole thing. He was very upset. Yeah, then I had to buy like an upgraded tank and an upgraded fish and all the things, and now it just like our free. Mom, I think we need to. Still yesterday, mom, I think we need to clean pearl's tank. It's getting a little cloudy. She, I cannot. That's one thing that I have always sucked out is fish tanks. Oh my God, and it's not that hard. It's just one more thing Like why does everyone need shit from me all the time? Can anyone else clean a fish tank? Let me show you how next time you could do it.

Speaker 2:

It's a pain in the ass it is, and then to not drop them down the garbage disposal no-transcript. When you the whoop and the whoop To know that that's always a threat when you're there. You would have mercy. If you've seen Little Mermaid, it's yet to happen. However, my worst, best picture, I pour it in. I rinse all them rocks around, rearrange the shit and then do the whole thing You're going to fuck up and have a fucktuation. You're going to skip the situation.

Speaker 2:

Then I'm going to kill that fish and my ass is going to be on my way to PetSmart to replace the replacement fish, which is going to cost you money and you're going to be big, I can see.

Speaker 2:

It's just the whole driving over there and all Well, I can just see your temper tantrum. Why is your storming into the store? Yeah, I'm back. Yeah, I'm back. Surprise, let's all act surprised, fucking garbage disposal. Pearl, she was a good fish. She was a good fish of mine. We got that special color changer enhancer food. She looks prettier than ever. As long as her tank is clean, we can see it, which I sure have to do today, because I didn't do it yesterday. You need to put it on the calendar, oh my gosh In case y'all don't know what that is.

Speaker 2:

That's, I'm real serious. We're very serious about our calendar.

Speaker 3:

It's our calendar.

Speaker 2:

Now, that's how I keep track of shit, and now that you're blue, our calendars are going to actually become one. You can see, I can see what I'm supposed to be doing. I can see clearly. Now the green is gone. Yeah, this might be the best day of my life, oh, wow. It started off as a situation this morning, but you always bring some good smiles to me. At least the fox was pretty, oh, and the tail is going to be even prettier, oh. Well, this is our therapy and it's, you know, most of the tree.

Speaker 3:

It's good, Small price to pay. I suppose Small price to pay for a little cup, I don't know what was I thinking? Well, your sister doesn't know you like I know you. I know I put a lot of ice and then there, it was empty.

Speaker 2:

Here I am like someone works here, right? Uh, jeffrey, yeah, could anyone fill me up please? Um, she's tedious, yeah she's a whole yes, yeah, you didn't miss.

Speaker 2:

You missed that. Oh, we brought the feather duster. So kel is always the one with treasures. It goes treasure hunting. We've talked about it a million times and she gets into my car today and as we're sitting there waiting for the uh cleanup on aisle one, yes, yes, she goes. Look what I got you. Well, at least I brought you a gift. It's fabulous. You know, we had the whole talk about you buying the feather duster to make a purse out of, so the second, I saw that.

Speaker 2:

You know we're both very drawn to feathers. Anyway, I thought this is like the prettiest one I've ever seen amazing. So my mom had this pillow and this blanket that she bought. That was on her on her bed, and these are the feathers that outlined the edge of the pillow.

Speaker 3:

It's just beautiful where'd you get this?

Speaker 2:

and I never reveal my secrets. I said where did you get probably at a garage sale from a little old lady.

Speaker 3:

She's pretty sure it was two dollars. It's nice it mall falls.

Speaker 2:

It's nice, it's beautiful. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

You're welcome. It looks so good in the she-shit.

Speaker 2:

It'll last forever. I know you don't have to water them like a fish named Pearl.

Speaker 1:

I'm trying not to bring up old shit or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Listen, whatever You're speaking it into existence Today, when I go catch that fish, I'm going to be real careful, yeah, okay. Make sure you hold on to that tail, you slippery little suckers. See, I'm telling you, that's like the Julia Roberts when she shoots the oh, that's exactly what I was thinking. You caught that. When she shoots the. Yeah, pretty woman, yeah, hell, yeah, yeah, yep, yeah, walking down the street, yeah, yep, yeah, walking down the street which is it is this shellfish or something that she shoots across the room.

Speaker 2:

Play that song, right? Yeah, she's not in here. She's absent today. Okay, okay, I'm really new yeah, you just said. You said, nick said, you just texted her. I mean, okay, listen I she put her face in your phone already. That's so.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to say it.

Speaker 2:

That's like a mini hoopla situation, that's shitidious. That's what Scotty says shitidious. It was supposed to be shittiest, Scotty turned it in shittidious. Well, it's all about the interpretation.

Speaker 2:

He always taking shit to the next level he's a weirdo, no, he's racist like that, exactly, next level. He's racist like that. No, he's racist like that, exactly. I mean, yeah, he came like that. Sometimes they do. I had to to bring him into the whole word of the day yesterday and then today, when I was writing that down on there just talking about the mini muha yeah, he said it sounds like we're going to an italian. We're going to order the Teeny Vagini. Yeah, we're going to Mama.

Speaker 1:

Vagini. I'm having a Mama Vagini. And yeah on the kid menu. We're going to have a tiny vagina.

Speaker 2:

Teeny Vagini Club yeah, with a side of olives yeah, but nobody wants that With bread and Earl, or is it a special?

Speaker 1:

day.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes that Earl's good wants that with bread and earl, or is it a special day? Sometimes that old good though, yeah, it's a very good. Yeah, yeah, you gotta have the earl on the side with this nice slice of ciabatta. Oh yeah, nick lovers and ciabatta. I was trying to explain that to you the other day when I was making something and I you should have seen me try to butcher how to spell ciabatta first of all, it came out with a ch.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you can stop right, I should have just stopped right there. We get it, yeah, which is where I should.

Speaker 2:

Now I can't even say shitty anymore because now it comes out shit idiots. So me and the girls were stupid that day because, remember that day, because we were I was trying to say chabata bread or no, I was trying to spell it Ciabatta.

Speaker 1:

No, it didn't come out no, ciabatta, it came out, ciabatta it came out ciabatta.

Speaker 2:

We started with a C, now ciabatta bread, ciabatta, ciabatta, chicken breath, chicken breath, the bread that you pay for, right? Yeah, yeah, it's ciabatta bread.

Speaker 1:

That's how it's supposed to work, but sometimes it don't.

Speaker 2:

It's not hot bread. No, literally it was ciabatta bread. I pay for this. Look at us.

Speaker 1:

It's not hot bread.

Speaker 2:

It's not hot right out the oven. It's ciabatta. It wasn't French bread. Ciabatta didn't mean that bread At the tiny low-vaginy restaurant.

Speaker 2:

Where the oil it's. Earl, earl Earl had to die. Oh, remember we threatened, yeah, with peas To do a photo shoot. Oh, we're doing it Fall. Yes, did you say we, it's happening, it's happening. I got the rug. You got trash bags. I got a rug Duct tape. I got a backhoe Rope, backhoe. Good, fucking, always need a bitch with a backhoe. I'm right here. Listen, we all have our gifts. You can't spill at your bottom, but I probably can, but I can't drive a backhoe, but.

Speaker 1:

I can you?

Speaker 2:

probably can. Yeah, and I'm cheap, you know, and if you from a friend of your car, he's one call away. Yeah, I mean phone a friend. We got some good friends testing, testing, it is. Yeah, can you hear me?

Speaker 3:

now get your ass out here, there's something big.

Speaker 2:

I can't run over it. Yeah, can you drag it out of the way? I just sprayed the car yesterday.

Speaker 1:

Put gloves on bring your friend home bring your friend.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, it's always good to have one in the front and couple in the back. Wait, shit, don't, don't make it weird, man. That just fucking went Hilarious. No, it really wasn't. No, it really wasn't Anything else we did, talking about field trips, pumpkin patches, that's happening tomorrow. We're pumpkin patching it up, halloween coming up, yeah, and then it's going to straight up be the holidays. Sure, it's going to come fast. You know it always does Well. Riley's already texting me about no Thanksgiving Because he likes to come over and cook with me, Thank goodness.

Speaker 2:

He cannot wait, he loves to come over and cook with me and I love when he comes to cook.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, because his mom and I cook gypsy.

Speaker 2:

Thank god, you need a tiny sous chef and he's all about it. It's so fun. Yes, and so yeah, I was surprised. Um, you didn't ask me about this necklace, because I just nothing is ever too much for you so no anyone else would be like what the fuck is that? No, it's only the second time I'm ever wearing it.

Speaker 1:

I bought it combo piece.

Speaker 2:

It looks like saints and angels. I bought it to be alice in wonderland and I found it at a thrift shop and couldn't pass it up. And then today I was like you know what? I'm going to fucking wear that. The only other time I've worn it. We went to the Abita Mystery House, a who, which is in Abita, louisiana, where the Abita Brewery is, and it's this weird trippy Abita beer. They make Abita root root beer. I thought it was like I beat it. I beat it. Oh yeah, I went to the brewery, so they have this mystery house. I thought it was like I beat someone's ass. A b, I t a. That's a different spelling, you know. It has a, b, e, a I t a. I beat a bitch, I beat a louisiana was a it was a good time anyway.

Speaker 2:

It's a mystery house. It's a bunch of weird shit. Is it scary? No, it was like taxidermied weird like a half gator, half rabbit.

Speaker 3:

You hesitated.

Speaker 2:

There's some weird shit in there but, it's not like a haunted. What am I trying to say? Mythological, I got some of it is. So it's a jackass in the back and a goat in the front.

Speaker 1:

Some of that shit is there anyway, it's that's perfect for louisiana the whole. Thing is weird. I took a lot of pictures, but don't judge, I like y'all's food.

Speaker 2:

The point of the story as soon as I walk in, the man said let me some. I like your necklace. Can I have that? You can get in for free if you give me your necklace. And then it made me want it even more. I was like, well, this is the first time I've ever worn it. I haven't really even checked it out, and what if I might want to wear it again? Really, I got it for the halloween costume but then kind of felt bad, like it belonged in the mystery house. I kind of just want to send it back to that dude. Did he wanted your necklace?

Speaker 2:

yes, he wanted the necklace on my neck, I don't, because that's how he collects weird shit. Obviously you don't get, you don't collect a donkey in that, oh, a lot of it and a goat in the front.

Speaker 2:

So listen, y'all Google that a beta mystery house. It is some trippy shit and if you're over there it's worth the checkout. I mean just weird claw machine and marionette type. And then they had like a a little shack made of hot sauce bottles Like oh bottles, like all that is impressive to me. You had me at hot sauce okay, also like the wine bottles, making the whole wall glass and mud house and like just those are really cool. I saw those one um in wimberley. They do a trade. I love wimberley, it's a lot like fredericksburg. And then there's curville and then we have it here at new grumples because we have green and blowing yeah, they do market days, and so this was a saw one.

Speaker 2:

I believe it was wimberley market day, because that's a huge one, very, very big deal, and it's kind of down there on the square and this dude had made a um, a waterfall out of the wine bottles. And I'm thinking, you know, I'm kind of a wine, oh, I kind of need that. Do you know how many waterfalls I could make in a week? You just gave me an idea. Yeah, holy shit, don't go chasing waterfalls.

Speaker 3:

Hey Winefalls maybe I'll chase a winefall.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, water's overrated, I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, but can we turn the water into wine? I could build a cork house as big as the freaking.

Speaker 1:

White.

Speaker 3:

House right now.

Speaker 2:

See yeah, fun projects coming in. Hot, I got some hot glue guns like you've never seen.

Speaker 1:

I know you do, girl, it's impressive.

Speaker 2:

Scissors and glue guns we could build. Who knows what.

Speaker 3:

Challenge accepted If we don't get rain soon, you're going to have to turn all that lime back into water.

Speaker 2:

You ain't lying. Oh, oh way to talk. I love a good challenge. Turn into your parents talking about the weather. Y'all seen that commercial Mm-hmm Progressive. Yes, it is good, it is hilarious.

Speaker 1:

They're calling it a you know Right, yeah, a thunderstorm or whatever.

Speaker 2:

And then, yeah, he's like like it's a good day to go sailing, supposed to rain on thursday might be something, or is that? I'm talking about arctic blast coming in? Not yet, but I never believe that shit. And it always happens like I have an event like we're like, oh, we're going to a concert. My dad's like gonna be an arctic blast, take a check. I'm like, yeah, whatever dad throw it in the car, he ain't lying. It'll drop like 35 degrees from when you go inside the venue and you walk out. And now it's like, yeah, getting blown. And my dad was right, texas, like the jackets in the car so far away. No, that shit does happen. It does. Here we've been through floods at the resort where they said we were gonna have a slight drizzle.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, and then it never stopped raining for four days, no, and. And we had the flood. That one was in 2015 and the waters were a bajillion. It was ridiculous.

Speaker 3:

You always live with the possibility that it could very well, happen again.

Speaker 1:

Which I get as material things and what have you.

Speaker 2:

But did I have some things I'd like to tell? That weatherman, yeah, and treasures, not even just so many. That weatherman, yeah, and treasures, not even just so many. That.

Speaker 1:

I've been collecting money like to put into our bungalows that were so beautiful chairs that are irreplaceable.

Speaker 2:

That probably was one of the saddest pictures I ever saw was the freaking modified and it was just like round white. Do you remember the round? I? I'm sorry, yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's depressing.

Speaker 2:

It does. That hurts my heart. Because I'm real serious about my treasures, and I know you are too, and that's sad. At least you know we live. To tell the tale, my eyes might be leaking. We'll bring the trailer earlier. Next sign of rain Now we don't mess around, no.

Speaker 1:

Everything. Next sign of rain. Now we don't mess around. No, everything's hooked up, we got wheels.

Speaker 2:

You know, at this point, when they say it's a slight drizzle, we work everything out, yeah, and then people think I'm being extra oh my god, we had the flood, we had the flood, we had I don't care what you know- who even knows. We're ready, like look, whatever, anything's, it's gonna rain frogs.

Speaker 2:

You know it did look, be ready. Speaking of you know we call your kids. Y'all called the frog pond the frog pond and we just randomly had. Do you remember what time of the year that was when all of a sudden I was like, hey, we all of a sudden have bullfrogs everywhere. Was that this spring, probably spring? I? Was just talking about that the other day, because I cleaned out the fountain for the end of the year so it doesn't freeze or whatever, which clearly that's why it's still 95.

Speaker 2:

Today it's supposed to hit close to 90. 100 degrees outside, because I cleared out that deal. But I was just telling that story. I think I was telling Nick about how big the freaking. I had them by the front door. I had the medium one, I had the small one, hey, they eat them how big the freaking. I had them by the front door, I had the medium one, I had the small one I had, and they keep eating them bugs.

Speaker 1:

I am anti-bug, so, and then y'all found a frog.

Speaker 2:

Rowan brought it over oh, that's right, it was a tadpole and he put it let him bring his head, pull home from the river. Yeah, I can just put it in gypsy's fountain, it's fine with the frogs so he brought the tadpole over, put it, and I was like kel.

Speaker 2:

He is going to lose his shit when he realizes I didn't babysit the tadpole. The tadpole is gone. Now I'm going to have to go through the whole metamorphosis thing and do a slide Not me, because T and Nick's going to have to do a slideshow on how the tadpole turned into the frog and then the frog hopped away.

Speaker 1:

And then went to the meat thing because he chased the girl frog and then yeah, kiss the prince right and then poof, yeah, that's how he lives in another subdivision somewhere grew legs and hopped away.

Speaker 2:

He did too. Sometimes you gotta do that. Move on. I'm not kissing the frog, I'm kissing, no problem. I was saying grow legs and hop away.

Speaker 3:

I'm not going to the last chapter you can't skip ahead.

Speaker 2:

That's not how life works. No, you have to read each chapter. I think today was fun. Thanks for having me. I'm glad you're here. Thanks for making me smile. Today started off a little rough. It's been allergy season and yeah, all the things you guys know. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times I'm one of those that says, um, I got a problem. It says, take two.

Speaker 1:

I took four, I took six and then I always said no, I always ask her afterwards and she's like no, I couldn't read the bottle and I'm like, well, maybe ask me before.

Speaker 2:

And then if. I took three. Can I take two of those like that? No, it's the same.

Speaker 1:

I was dying what can I take? I'm still miserable.

Speaker 2:

I took two zyrtec d's I was. I sneezed. Usually every evening I sneeze a good 30 times because we're multiple sneezers though both of us. So you take this uh to a whole another level.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yep it's real.

Speaker 2:

So that's how it started off. In the morning my eyeballs were bloodshot red, I looked like I was at a phony's restaurant and then I it just it wouldn't stop. So then I slammed a couple of Benny's and then I text you and Nick, and I was like, just so y'all know.

Speaker 1:

This is what I took in case I'm unsupervised right now with a goat, wake up.

Speaker 2:

Nick, four dogs, a couple monkeys and a lemur, and I'm unsupervised right now with a goat, four dogs, a couple monkeys and a lemur and I'm trying to start the winter wonderland. So if y'all see me dead on a cow in my birdies bedroom, just know what I took. That's good to know.

Speaker 1:

I do feel a little bit better.

Speaker 3:

Today You're coming around, you're coming around.

Speaker 2:

That's good to know. I do feel a little bit better today, but not you're coming around. You're coming around after she drugged herself. We go to lobby, lobby and the poor girl, angel baby, the slowest oh bless her heart. Yes, you want a clock girl. I was. I. Literally I had to tell her. I said squint your eyes a little, put on some sunglasses, go take a lap or something she was like sitting me on I think you need her hopes. Her eyes are about to pop out her head because she was staring at this poor girl.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to help her so bad. Bless her heart. If you suck at your job or you are not at a functional level with your recreations, then you should not participate in both also, we were at hobby lobby.

Speaker 3:

So they don't got the skating thing, you gotta manually type it.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, I can't with that. I'm about to just walk out and dump this tip, this whole basket over. You would have lost your ever loving mind I'm losing my mind just hearing the story. Nick sent me on three laps. She was like go find a hula hoop. I was like they don't have hula hoops here. She's like we'll go try to find one anyways, because I got.

Speaker 2:

I got birdie the crazy crab. Wait till you meet the cracked out crab. This is the coolest fucking toy I've ever seen in my entire life. His name is cracky mccrackerson she's are you hooking? Us up no wait till you see her. Dolce goes insane. It is the. I tell riley about it. She was like you bought her the infamous crab. I was like, yeah, 14.99 on amazon it's the best entertainment you have ever seen in your life.

Speaker 3:

I can't wait it was a good time you're supposed to put it in the hula hoop and I was like it didn't say that on there to put it in the hula hoop.

Speaker 2:

It's like no, this thing goes all over the house and it just and it runs, and then dolce starts going crazy had it in his mouth. The other day I was like don't eat the cracked out crap.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's the next birdie's not even met her, yet what?

Speaker 2:

happened dolce ate the crab. Yeah, he flipped her over, and then so she, then she was having a seizure. Well, listen, you can't be flipping crabs over like that, don't you? Yeah, so I had to go on 47 field trips while we were at the checkout thing, and then I tried to take my basket and walk myself out and just excuse myself. And she said, ma'am, I'm sorry, you can't take your basket out until all the items are paid for. And I said, well, that makes. Well, let me pepper the basket then.

Speaker 3:

Let me help you then I will wrap if you will roll.

Speaker 2:

She was about to just say okay, charge this basket. So I will roll. Seriously, can we? Can we? You don't have the skin. Oh listen, I go. Can I please be excused? I'll pay for it, just please be excused from dinner yes, I don't want to eat the broccoli in a few minutes to myself. Yes, it was so bad oh my gosh.

Speaker 3:

Well, she finished it four hours later.

Speaker 2:

I'm sorry. Please, please, whatever you do, be good at your job, whatever, even if you're the drive-thru girl like, give them the ketchup when they order fries, you know, if they need to, can we? Talk about the extra napkins for a second Napkins. Napkins are a thing. Everybody going to need the napkins, and if they don't, they do.

Speaker 1:

You need to. Napkins are a thing I offer napkins my kids are eating.

Speaker 2:

I'm like you need a napkin. No, I don't.

Speaker 1:

You need two actually Always take a napkin when someone gives you a napkin and take one for reserve.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, I need 12. It's like a security blanket, it's like my binky, it's like a it's something. Yeah, I got one on my lap one under my plate one for a fluctuation, one for a tiny situation?

Speaker 3:

What if I need to blow my nose?

Speaker 2:

I mean, what if my mini hoo-haul leaks and it's not supposed to and I might need to just pull over and piddle or something you never know when you're going to need, put it in your glove box. I got napkins in my glove box. Believe that. On this side, some in the back whatever. Wipe that shit off your face.

Speaker 3:

Napkins.

Speaker 2:

Wipe that taste out your mouth. Napkins, napkins. We support the napkins. God, it's not that hard. No, please, just be good, whatever you do. When they say one, give them two, try harder, three, always take more than you think you need, and quality is key. Amen, nobody wants the one where you're gonna pull out. It's like you can't even blow your nose on that. That's like no great clean you do when it hits your neighbor.

Speaker 1:

It's bad, it's disgusting, it's bad, stupid, anyways that's our restaurant tip of the day to go orders.

Speaker 2:

Make sure you put it in the bag on the top of the bag not under the bag, where it's going to be greasy and soggy thank you for your service also whatever you do, try harder, bless your heart, bless your heart. Well, we rambled enough, I guess never, well guess we're gonna cut it, just go on another.

Speaker 3:

We're gonna have costumes and things to show on our next deal ps.

Speaker 2:

I need to get on that costume situation I gave you know what you meant to say is gs.

Speaker 3:

You need to get on that. I keep like sending a hint, like hey, I think.

Speaker 2:

I'm on the up Now, I got the hint. Now that I can get your messages, now that you're blue oh yeah, so welcome to the dark side.

Speaker 1:

Now I can see what I'm supposed to dress you up as Stay tuned, stay tuned for the costumes Going down.

Speaker 2:

I love you, love you, can't wait.

Speaker 1:

And cut. Okay, I'm telling you.