The Rambling Gypsy
Welcome to The Rambling Gypsy Podcast, where Tiffany Foy and friends invite you to join them on their porch for a candid conversation about the quirks and adventures that make up their lives. From Tiffany's eclectic collection of animals to the chaos and joys of raising boys, there's nothing held back as they share their unfiltered perspectives.
With a refreshing honesty and a refusal to sugarcoat anything, this podcast delves into the various oddities and peculiarities that come in life's way. From hilarious anecdotes to thought-provoking discussions, they explore the everyday moments that shape their experiences.
Fortunate to be porching it, Tiffany and friends create an inviting atmosphere where authenticity thrives. They unapologetically embrace their unique journey, inviting listeners to do the same. This podcast is not for everyone, but it is for some; those who appreciate unfiltered, real-life conversations that don't shy away from the messy and imperfect aspects of living.
Join us as we gather around the virtual porch and immerse ourselves in the stories, insights, and laughter that The Rambling Gypsy Podcast brings. Whether you're a fellow animal lover or a parent navigating the rollercoaster of boyhood, this podcast will entertain, inspire, and remind you that it's okay to embrace life's imperfections.
So grab a seat, put on your headphones, and get ready for a delightful journey of laughter, reflection, and unscripted joy. Welcome to The Rambling Gypsy Podcast, where we invite you to be part of our vibrant and unfiltered world.
The Rambling Gypsy
Kung Fu Fighting at the Bachelorette Party
As we gear up for river season, Tiffany recalls an unforgettable incident at her resort on the Guadalupe River that involved a bachelorette party, an uninvited guest, and a Kung Fu fight that left someone missing a few digits. Yes, you heard that right!
Tiffany and Kellie then discuss their own bachelorette party adventures, including some unexpected surprises encountered in the lively town of McQueeny.
Tiffany's years of owning and running a resort on the Guadalupe River have made her an expert in anticipating and pinpointing trouble before it happens. From rowdy guests to potential party crashers, she gives us a glimpse into the behind-the-scenes world of managing a river resort during the adventurous river season.
Get ready for laughter, cringe-worthy moments, and a reminder that bachelorette parties can be wild rides! And remember this helpful tip: "Keep your friends close, and your fingers closer."
The Rambling Gypsy podcast is a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of real Texans doing real sh*t. We're pulling back the curtains on our daily lives - and you're invited to laugh and learn along with us.
Links:
http://www.youtube.com/@TheRamblingGypsy
https://www.facebook.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.instagram.com/GypsyMammaTiff/
https://www.theramblinggypsypodcast.com/
https://www.ramblinggypsy.boutique/
Hey everybody, welcome to the Ramblin' Gypsy podcast. My name is Tiffany Foy, this is Kel and this is our porch. Welcome back. We are here. We've got some things, so Nick is not with us today. You guys hear me talk about Nick all the time. She has hosting a bachelorette party. Yeah, that sounds like a good time. It is. They're actually bebopping. This is bebopping all over the place. They're not like in one destination, it's like a whole weekend deal.
Speaker 1:That's the way to do. It Isn't that kind of cool. Yeah, I like bachelorette parties.
Speaker 2:I think that was kind of different compared to the norm, compared to a one-night deal, but I think there's a bunch of them that are coming from different areas.
Speaker 1:And they're in Austin.
Speaker 2:They are, yeah. So right now they're at the resort hanging out. She's taking them up to the farm so they're going to go see all the little animals and play with all the babies and do all that kind of stuff. So I thought that was a kind of a really cool spinoff. I hope she documents that. That's what I told her to make sure she takes a bunch of pictures so she can share them with all of us. And yeah, because we have you've seen how many cute babies we have right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it thought it was pretty cool because they are. Some of them couldn't come because they're all coming from different areas, so some of them could only be here on certain days and certain times or whatever. So the ones that could get here early.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it was kind of like a change up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she, we were talking yesterday, we were working, and she said, hey, what do you think is? Is it cool if we stay at the river house? And I was like you know, that is a good little change up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know we actually did a batch. I hosted a bachelor party at your river house.
Speaker 2:This is a really cool story. We have to tell everybody, so, um, for those of you that do not know, um, we own gypsy river resort. My husband and I own gypsy river resort on the guadalupe river here in new brunfels, texas. Um, if you don't know, check it out. If, yeah, you need to come and hang out us. We have a really good time. There is a porch very similar to me and Kel's porch. Where that one is. I'd say it's probably fortunate to porch. I mean I'll go hang out on my own porch.
Speaker 1:I was fortunate If y'all can stay at the porch.
Speaker 2:I was fortunate to porch If y'all can stay on the porch, the porch, the porches.
Speaker 1:Yeah, since we have porches everywhere.
Speaker 1:My best buddy from college got married. This is a cool story and I was invited to be a groomswoman. So of course it's a bunch of guys and me on the groom's side. So obviously they delegate me to throw the bachelor party Atypical, yes, I know. But why are they inviting a girl? Well, I'm cool, obviously. So I'm like well, I got just the spot, so we get the river house, we all go down and stay and you know, of course I'm in charge of food and fun and games and prizes and all the things.
Speaker 2:Let's back up a second. Do these guys know about your cooking?
Speaker 1:skills. I never offered to cook and yes, they know.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's good. I wasn't sure how I mean.
Speaker 1:Clearly, y'all are close, I'm talking snacks, charcuterie board, you know things of that nature. Drinks and fun. That's all I promised. Good, so we did that.
Speaker 2:At least you didn't set yourself up for failure right out of the gate.
Speaker 1:No, no, but I mean we had lots of space and lots of fun and down by the river and barbecue and bars, and I mean it was dreamy. I'm just saying who puts a girl in charge of the bachelor party? Well, you know, you're going to have a good time, yeah, and there will be snacks, like I said. Yeah, I never promised to cook, but that was a really fun experience. Did you have a bachelorette party?
Speaker 2:I did, yes, I did, and that was a hundred years ago, and it was a surprise one, and it was in McQueenie Okay, mcqueenie, texas, which is a little little if you want to lay low and not get hit is a little, tiny little. I mean, it's this big, if you blink you drive right through it and it's got, it's got a beautiful they call the lake. Looks like a river, but um a beautiful it is.
Speaker 2:It is, yeah, so beautiful place there and um, but it was at and I I don't even know what that place was. It's now Blake's Cafe.
Speaker 1:I love Blake's Cafe. Blake's Cafe is very good. Give a shout out to them.
Speaker 2:It used to be something else, it used to be something else. Like I said, this was a long, long, long, long, long time ago.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Very long time ago, but yes, and there were strippers, which was In McQueenie.
Speaker 1:You got to know people? I don't think they came from there.
Speaker 2:Okay, if they did, they were hiding, because you don't see things like that in McQueenie. No, you don't, you don't see things like that pretty much anywhere, but it was, so there were strippers.
Speaker 1:And did. It used to be a bar, now it's a cafe, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, it used to be something and I wish I knew Somebody. If you guys are listening, feel free to enlighten me on the things that I don't remember.
Speaker 1:And somebody threw this for you because it was a surprise, yeah, my sister, that's cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a show.
Speaker 1:I bet it was. I mean, I don't know, Are my cheeks red With or without strippers? It's going to be a show. It was a show.
Speaker 2:It was a show, it was crazy, but it was fun and it was a private deal, so it was. You know, it wasn't like there was a whole, it wasn't like the movie.
Speaker 1:what's it with the engagement with Sandra Bullock and Ryan?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. It's not like that one where they take in what's the guy and he's yeah. No, he works, yeah, he works at the ACE hardware or whatever the store, the hardware store. And he's also the stripper and he's also the. He's a weirdie.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that type of a where it the general public is involved. It was a small little shindig and it was. It was cool, it was fun, but um well, that's cool of your sister.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's a, that was, that was a long time ago.
Speaker 2:I kind of forgot about that until we were just talking about that that's how the magic happens, yeah yep, but there's been.
Speaker 2:Um yeah, so nick and them. I talked to her last night briefly, um make sure they got all settled in and just to check on things, because it's you, you know, our season hasn't opened. Our season is three months, basically, out of the year starts Memorial Day, ends Labor Day, which is right around the corner, and so we like to go through all of our properties and just do touch-ups and things. So I was talking to her for a bit last night and she said they were making, they were painting At the party. I said, nick, I do the painting in the family.
Speaker 2:You know that we all have our gifts you know that I lane you know that I'm the one that will literally just paint whatever I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah come in tomorrow. This all might be, this might all be different.
Speaker 2:Yes, especially if, I'm stressed, I will rebuild an entire town. But um so she said, no, not that kind of painting. I said, when I said make a list, I just, I mean, you're mean you're hosting a bachelorette party, go in there and relax and have fun. And I'm thinking, I know damn good and well. You're not sitting in there touching up the river house right now.
Speaker 1:Everybody grab a brush. Yeah, it'll be fun.
Speaker 2:No, she said they were painting. I don't remember. I don't know if she said t-shirts or signs, but of the fiance's face, oh my gosh. That's a fun activity, so I cannot wait to see the outcome. So she hasn't sent any pictures.
Speaker 1:You know, our service is kind of crappy on that Because, listen, you don't want to invite me to that. I'm not a listen, we do that painting with a twist. Yeah, we all have our gifts. I'm not artistic.
Speaker 2:I've done that with my girls, but I haven't done that with. I haven't done that. Oh, we should, oh we should. I can see you throwing that could be an episode.
Speaker 1:I could see you throwing a paintbrush like you throw your forks at the restaurant.
Speaker 2:I'm going to paint a fire hydrant. Thank you very much Guess what.
Speaker 1:Now it's on fire. Now it's on fire, you're welcome. We did a I know we talked about the trash to dress. That was like the mutual stock, the bar or whatever. But I did have a bachelorette party. It was like a flapper theme, like roaring 20s. We were at the Prince Psalms.
Speaker 2:I remember your outfit.
Speaker 1:Lingerie party, all of that. That was a good time. And then Shiloh went fishing with the boys. That's another funny story. It was supposed to be like a big secret. They were going to kidnap him and I had to pack the bag. I know he's rolling his eyes as he's listening to this story.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking you had to pack the bag. Yeah, what did you put?
Speaker 1:in there, not enough, no, there, not enough, no, and not anything that he would ever wear, clearly, you know. But it was like he's like you gave me like four shirts and like two pairs and I don't even wear these fishing. I'm like I, we weren't even married yet. I'm barely even in charge of you. You've been doing this so long. You haven't even signed the document. There was clean underwear, there was a toothbrush, like essentials. You know I pack for children, but clearly he's got more opinions. Oh yeah, so that was a good time there was. You know, they caught some fish, they did the man thing, went down to Rockport or whatever.
Speaker 2:I was just about to ask did they go? Because I know Shai likes to go fishing, like in Mexico and what have you, oh yeah. Yeah, well, that's a whole other story. Well, that's a whole other story, but anyways, I didn't know if that was where they actually took him for.
Speaker 1:That would have required more planning and passports Somebody else would have had to pack.
Speaker 2:I can't even pack a bag for Rockport.
Speaker 1:So like look, I cannot be trusted.
Speaker 2:Much less a passport travel bag Right. Yeah, that's, hilarious.
Speaker 1:I've seen a lot of. You know, we see a lot of stuff on the river.
Speaker 2:Boy, do I have some bachelorette and bachelor party stories here, stay tuned. So if you guys have ever been on um in town we are, new brunfels is a very, very big tourist town, um, and it's based. We have two rivers, we have the we I call it the comal, that's an inside joke it's called the comal river, shortest river in the world, yep.
Speaker 2:And then we have the Guadalupe River, which goes from literally one side of the US. I mean, it's huge too. People ask me all the time, where do I get out? And I'm like it's not, like you're not at the Hyatt. You're not at the Marriott or the Riverwalk. It's not a circle. They think it's going to bring you back. Yeah, back. Yeah, it does not bring you back sometimes we just mess with people and be like you know.
Speaker 2:You'll know when you see us again like you've gone too far. I always tell them pack a life jacket. And who is in charge of snacks too? And yes, and the sandwich exactly buddy system.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, because they have inflatable.
Speaker 2:You know, every kind of inappropriate or appropriate, any kind of float you could imagine for the river, see it floating down the river, because how it works is there's outfitters that are all lined up here in new brumfels where the quad floats, and so and we all pretty much do the same thing. It's just a little bit different. Some are a little more spicy, some are a little more homely.
Speaker 2:Some are, your children are not allowed somehow mom and pop, summer right exactly, and we're smack dab in the middle of the Gwad, in between the second and third crossing is how it's defined, or how you're located Right and how that's kind of how the terminology works. We have we call them crossings, which are bridges here on on the Gwad, and so, yes, we have had many of bachelorette parties. I have seen probably every kind of boob shotgun and what are you where you can trap bongs?
Speaker 2:funnels and all of that yep pp ones I've seen. I can say that's a good time.
Speaker 1:If you don't know what to do for your party, get your gang together and come to the river, because any outfit will do any kind of funny thing that you're like. Where could I ever do this? The river is the place.
Speaker 2:Because you're going to be judged. Clearly, I was about to say because you're not going to be judged. No, that's horseshit. We are going to judge you.
Speaker 1:We are going to laugh at you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we really don't regulate you, so to speak, but there is rules and boundaries, obviously, destruction is one of them I'm not going to help unless you're drowning, and even then I'm going to give you a minute. It depends maybe, if I'm hot, I might get in there and pick you up you're lucky, I'm sweating and you're how you just stand up. Yeah, stand up get up you're just on your feet stand, you'll be fine.
Speaker 1:But that's another thing I'm looking forward to is the people watching on the river. I know it gets old when you're there all the time.
Speaker 2:But there is a never-ending source of entertainment, Just when you think you have figured it out the next weekend rolls around and you thought oh shit.
Speaker 1:Never seen one do it like that before.
Speaker 2:I never, ever saw that coming. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:I mean it's entertaining. I would definitely say you know, people come from the big cities, like I'm not going to say Houston, because that seems like where most of them are from.
Speaker 2:It is, I can tell you, but within the first 10 to 15 minutes I can literally. We have walkie-talkies and I can radio to the staff and go hey, is site number eight.
Speaker 1:They H-Town town this corpus group.
Speaker 2:This is the. Yeah, these guys are from a little podunk little town around dallas area.
Speaker 1:They bring in all their expensive stuff on the river. They just got them shades and new hats all of that. They're gonna, they're gonna come back bruised, broken and missing half of their shit. If you lose your beer early, that is. That's not a good day, not for anyone, and you're not going to walk back, so don't try that, oh you can, but we ain't picking you up no, no, it's a long walk it's a very long walk.
Speaker 2:We had a bachelorette party. We've had many of them like yours. Um is a good, um good example, but there's this one, and I don't even know if I've told you this story. Probably I don, but I don't know because I feel like, just like I said, every single weekend is a new weekend Every, just when you think that you figured it out. It is a reality show. It is so unpredictable. It is a reality show. I could write a freaking book about the things that I mean. I grew up on the river Same. So I mean there's, and here I am, endless entertainment, years, years, years, years later. And it's still crazy what you see. But this particular time this group came in group of girls bachelorette party had rented one of my cottages and has a cute little patio out front, sleep six I think there was five that were there. Maybe six had showed up, anyways. So to get into the place, to all of our places, there's car tags. We have to identify everybody. So everybody's got a place and a spot where you belong inside of our campground.
Speaker 1:Everybody's got wristbands. I'm number eight. If lost, please return to cabin.
Speaker 2:number eight Exactly how this has to work, because people get there and they lose their ever-loving mind. It's insane and I mean, if I've said it one time, I've said it a million. You guys planned all year to come down here and lose your ever loving mind. And they fight amongst themselves. They go to jail sometimes they go.
Speaker 2:This is a good jail story. So, um, I get. We had just left that particular weekend. I was thinking, oh, it's going to be great relaxing weekend. I know pretty much everybody that's going to be here because it's our.
Speaker 2:We've got regular groups and families and and that come back every year and then they turn into our family, you know we all become very good friends because we're very much hands-on and involved in our place and during the summer and this group didn't know them, but that particular weekend when this entire group comes that we know we have a big cornhole tournament. Oh yeah, I remember that. Yes, and I make little trophies A big trophy. Yes, it's so fun. And I mean they've got probably seven, eight boards and it's real serious.
Speaker 2:It is. It's so adorable and everybody at the campground plays down below and we've got music going and it's just a really good time. So I'm thinking, oh, I don't have to, this is going to be a stress-free weekend I don't have to worry about you know, that was your first mistake in somebody's ass or pulling them out of the river by their hair, cause you know I've done that and I'm thinking this is good. Well then, I leave um to go home, like at two in the morning, three in the morning, cause you know, most of the time I end up staying there. But I've learned the the the older I get and the longer that I've had this place, it's best that I just go home.
Speaker 1:A shower and a sleep in your own bed. It's best that I just let them if they want to beat each other up.
Speaker 2:they can do it amongst themselves. I don't want any, you know, I don't want any part of it. So I go home and, um, I get a phone call literally about, and one of my friends was staying in the river house where you were staying, and it was, I mean, four, five, five o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1:whatever, it's never good to get a call at that time.
Speaker 2:Nope. And she said, well, you're not going to believe this. And I said what do you mean? Yeah, Shock me, I know, please. And she said you know those girls that the bachelorette party? And I said, yeah, I know exactly which one. I mean, there was only one that weekend. I said, no, and yeah, I know exactly which one you're talking about. And she said, well, um, somewhere. She said they got in a fight. Like what do you mean? They got to fight with who? Why are they fighting? They're, it's a party, y'all, you're the friends we're celebrating, right, y'all. They're all gonna be in the same wedding. Why are they fighting?
Speaker 2:Well, so, boom, I get there and, like I said, everybody's got car stickers. So we can go and look, because you'll you, where are these random cars? Just fall from the sky, but you know it's in. Parking is almost impossible. And so we find this one random car where there's no sticker on it. Well, when you come in, we have to have a list. So if Kel is staying at the place, you come in and it says Kel's here, tiffany's here, nick's here this is the names that are on the party. If Kel and Tiffany are driving in your car, then it'll say this car, you know, and it'll give a description of your car so we could figure out who's the missing person or whatever yeah procedure Exactly so.
Speaker 2:We find this one car, we pull it up and there's there's no car on there. So that means that they snuck in somehow, whatever. They don't belong Right In the middle of the night, so, and that's exactly what happened In the middle of the night, and that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2:So, apparently one of the girls that was supposed to be in the bachelorette party was in the bridal party, came later, or they had thrown her out of the bachelor party. We never really got to the nitty gritty. Somehow she showed up like at 3, 4 in the morning. Well, the girls had the cottage locked. You know, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. You got to lock the, you got all the locks, yeah, and homegirl bust through the door. I'm talking, no, ma'am, everybody was kung fu fighting, yeah.
Speaker 1:She was late to the party and she was pissed she showed up, took her foot.
Speaker 2:This was not a small girl either. This one was the whole baby got back she came in, took the ripped. The thing rips the bride up out of the bed. Her and the bride get into this huge fight. She bites the bride's fingers off this is a real story. I am not making this shit up. I do not have this much time. You're right, this is a real podcast. This is real shit. I got time to make shit up. This is what we talk about on our porch real no this is not a fiction porch cast.
Speaker 2:So she drags out the bride, drags out these.
Speaker 1:East Texas girls Bite is a full on. Yeah, Corn fed. Maybe she didn't get invited to the wedding and then she was like I know where these bitches are.
Speaker 2:The story was, and we didn't read it on the interwebs.
Speaker 2:The story was Police report that she was part of the thing for whatever reason, and I don't know if last minute they decided nope, you can't come. Anyway, somehow, some way, she was not there during the whole weekend. She showed up Saturday night, big mad, big mad and got a hold. So she went to jail for felony assault and the bride went to the hospital to try to get her fingers put back on. So that's how, when we got there that next morning I've got pictures of the bride she tore this poor girl up and, yeah, they came to come get her car. Um had it towed like two, three days later Because I mean it's not going to stay there.
Speaker 1:And I told whoever.
Speaker 2:whatever I said, look you know, because we've all got phone numbers.
Speaker 1:I would like to bring this up as a suggestion when you're going to plan your bachelor or your bachelorette, that don't make it like for the night before or even that same weekend. Yes, because there are things that could go wrong. You might need to get your fingers reattached, you might, I mean you might have a black eye that needs to heal, and you know which one?
Speaker 2:it was the one where the ring goes. So, of course, and I walked off and forgot all of my jewelry Normally I have. I look like a yeah, mr T Jingle bells yes, exactly, and, but it was like the last three yes, so it was wear your fingernail, uh-huh. Oh, no, ma'am. Yeah, she got her good, so we are literally running around looking for fingers. I've looked for a lot of things at the river.
Speaker 1:Not fingertips, that has never been one of them.
Speaker 2:I had to tell our cleaning crew. So we have amazing cleaning crews. I had to tell our cleaning crew. Look, there might be a little something random in the cottage. This time, if you find it, it's evidence. There's a bag, it's got a red.
Speaker 1:It's too late now. It's shriveled up. Yeah, I know she's going to be nubby fingers you would know yeah. She's going to remember that for the rest of her life.
Speaker 2:And the wedding was going to be in November. And you know, now that we got the Facebooks and all the things we would literally all we're like I wonder if she's got a new member, I wonder if they brought, I wonder if they canceled the wedding.
Speaker 1:I wonder if they just all said you know what?
Speaker 2:Fuck this. This is a sign Maybe we're going to elope. You know, maybe we're not inviting anybody, yeah, or Maybe we're not inviting anybody, yeah, or that.
Speaker 1:That is wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you should have seen the door. I mean Came off the hinges, the trim. She pulled a kick, though.
Speaker 1:I mean to kick in a deadbolt, and that wasn't her first time.
Speaker 2:If you kick in, a door like that I mean?
Speaker 1:no, she's been practicing at home Kung fu, fighting, yeah, watching on YouTube. I'm telling you what are you doing? She's lost her mind.
Speaker 2:That's when she got a felony assault or something. She spent her some got her a little vacay in the Comal County Jail. Comal County Jail Yep, she sure did.
Speaker 1:She sure did. That's a joke here, you know. Like come on vacation, she got a big fat invoice from me.
Speaker 2:Joke here, you know like come on vacation, she got a big fat. Uh, leave on invoice for me. I bet she did. You got to read that fine print, sister.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do, I gotta read that fine print, and this is why I tell everybody when y'all don't want to listen to the rules.
Speaker 2:This is not my first rodeo and I have adapted and adjusted on how things come in. But if you think about this for a minute and this is something to think about too if you guys are having and hosting like Nick is right now hosting a bachelorette party, so when that usually happens, you've got the one person in charge which, for instance, when you came, it was you Right, right, so You're signing your life away. You're signing and you're saying, look, I'm responsible for, I trust all these people. Yeah, betty Boop over here, that's going to act like an idiot. I know that was brave because I'm a fraternity boy.
Speaker 1:See, and then at the end of the day, most of them got real jobs, though.
Speaker 2:When you, yeah, yeah, y'all are going to have to figure it out, but, yeah, somebody is responsible for all the damages. And I tell you what this bride was like. I didn't invite her, I didn't. I said, well, I mean, when she showed up and the damage was on this piece of property, I mean there's a whole chain, y'all got to do what you got to do to work that out and get your money out of her.
Speaker 1:Seriously, it's something to think about.
Speaker 2:When it comes down to it, you're liable. Don't make me call the attorney.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've got her on speed dial. Yeah, y'all think that's a joke.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. It's not a joke, so it's, it's really. I mean, that is definitely something to think about if you guys have have um or if you are if you're not planning or stick to the baby showers they lot less likely yeah, that is sometimes they do but I mean we had a baby shower there too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like, well, I need a great spot, where can we go?
Speaker 2:hmm, we did yeah, I totally forgot about that.
Speaker 1:We've done all the things there. Yeah, yeah, we've hosted a lot of parties that is a good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. That is that's. We've always said that that should be a little more celebrated than it is. It absolutely should. I don't ever know what to say when people are like, oh, I just got divorced. That is. We've always said that that should be a little more celebrated than it is.
Speaker 1:It absolutely should. I don't ever know what to say when people are like oh, I just got divorced. I'm like I'm sorry, or congratulations, when are we going?
Speaker 2:What are we doing? You want to drink about it. Are we going to tear up the town?
Speaker 1:Good for you, of course you're going to tear up the town. Good for you.
Speaker 2:At some point's you're past the poor, pitiful me bullshit oh yeah.
Speaker 1:So think about who you invite to your uh bachelorette party carefully. Consider your bridal party if you're going to do that because when I'm gonna pull a kick, it better not be on your door. Don't do that to my doors. You might need her to kick in someone else's door.
Speaker 2:But not the one you're paying for. That's just rude. I mean, if they don't want you in the door, why are you kicking in the door you?
Speaker 1:sleep on the porch.
Speaker 2:I want to know if you are not invited now. Let's think about this for a minute why are you showing up?
Speaker 1:no, she's mad about something.
Speaker 2:If somebody does not want you there, why are you?
Speaker 1:going. I would never put myself in a situation where I was not wanted knowingly and invite drama. I'm trying to avoid drama sorry I'm late.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to come at all. I'm mad because I had to come in the first place.
Speaker 1:That is why I'm trying to avoid drama. I have a shirt that says sorry I'm late. I didn't want to be here.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to come at all. I didn't want to come. Yeah, I'm mad because I had to come in the first place.
Speaker 1:That is why I'm late.
Speaker 2:But I damn sure I'm not going to have one that says sorry I'm late, you didn't want me here. It's different. I wasn't invited that. It's a whole different hat. It's a whole different wardrobe.
Speaker 1:It's a whole different shit-uation. Sorry I'm late. I told an essay, you heard me right. I wasn't invited.
Speaker 2:That was not a stutter, that is a shit-uation and it is in the gypsy-nary coming soon.
Speaker 1:We should start a word of the day.
Speaker 2:That's a good one.
Speaker 1:I don't have a word for today, but I just thought of the idea Today we're going to revisit shitsituation Because it's a situation that's shitty. Squish it together, yeah, and it becomes a shituation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's kind of like our porch cast. That's what we're doing. We're on the porch, because we're fortunate to porch in it and have a podcast. We're having a porch cast, I mean.
Speaker 1:I think it's the first of its kind.
Speaker 2:It's so good, I like it, I like it. I think it's so fun. Strong work. Yeah, Bachelorette parties. Bachelor parties are a different ball game. I do like the games and things that you can play. Oh yeah, we're planning a baby shower now, you know very well. Yes, we are, and so that has been really fun coming up with really fun games and things.
Speaker 2:Gotta have good prizes too, for sure yes, let's just go through your uh closet, give it all the christmas things that never made it to anyone yeah, exactly, but this was so cute and um, and I had never heard of this and nick was telling me she said she had gone to a baby shower, and they melt candy bars and put them in diapers and put them in the diapers and hang them on the wall and you have to guess what?
Speaker 1:what poop it is oh, it's nasty. I ain't playing that game. I seen enough shit in my regular life.
Speaker 2:I need to like yeah, I'm thinking how is it not?
Speaker 1:Oh, there's peanuts in there. Ew, no See. We played a game where the guy's got to chug the beer out of the baby bottle. Or you got to waddle with the water balloon between your legs. I won that at my baby shower. I'm the pregnantest one waddling with that water balloon.
Speaker 2:I whooped y'all's asses. Look at you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm competitive yeah you are.
Speaker 2:I mean, if y'all didn't know that, now you know now and I got a sidekick.
Speaker 1:We ready Game on. We still ready to do that little one Boy. I tell you what that is hilarious.
Speaker 2:Went to my sister had a bachelorette party in Nashville, so you know I was just down there and yeah, up there, down, you know me over there. Remember we talked about never eat shredded watermelon and whatever it was, I had that all fucked up well, that's exactly why, if I was over there, I was not in texas and um, so nashville is the number one Bachelorette party capital City in the world. It's fun when people have bachelorette parties and I had no idea.
Speaker 2:And so then I'm scanning the whole. You know I'm like how many can we?
Speaker 1:count. Drink every time you see a bachelorette party.
Speaker 2:You might be laid up like the bachelors Trying to pace myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, trying to pace myself. Whose party are you with?
Speaker 2:Nobody's, I'm with them, I'm just going to join one just because, yeah, no, but I had no idea.
Speaker 1:But that is a real full-on thing, my sister lived close so we just drove over and got hotels and we had a limo and we did dance on the bar at Coyote Ugly. Did you a limo? And we did dance on the bar at Coyote, ugly Did you. I remember that. That's about all I remember, well, but it was wild. One out of is better than none, and you can't just not do it when they're like come on, oh, you've got to do it.
Speaker 2:I've done it at the one in San Antonio. I'm not that girl. If you can get me up there, I'll dance with you.
Speaker 1:I'm going to need more help getting down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I just need somebody to be there when I fall off. I'm not wearing heels Because y'all know how clumsy I am, and if you don't, you're going to see it. I fall all the time. I don't need any help falling. I take two steps. Bam, what are you doing on the ground?
Speaker 1:I have no's. I mean bachelorette parties are fun and I think for a last chance to get all your friends together when you're still not like. Let me see if it's okay with my husband Not that I live like that, I'm just saying Right, but it's a cool deal. And I think I just read that those bachelorette parties started like from bachelor parties Like back in, like the Spartan days.
Speaker 2:It was called like stag's dinner. They would just get together and good spartan and give everybody does.
Speaker 1:There's your shirt for this week everyone likes a good spartan. I will. You're welcome, not trojan, you said spartan right, yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's a two, it's a whole nother episode. Okay, stay tuned. Get back into the. Get back on track. Porch Kelly, stay on track Kelly.
Speaker 1:But I think it said they would just get together and give toast about whoever the doctor was going to be. I mean, that's cool, I guess, if you like your friends, Because some people would be saying some shitty shit at the toast Sit down.
Speaker 2:Next, you've got to really trust them. Unplug the mic, cut the mic. No, trust somebody like unplug the mic cut the mic, yeah, no ma'am, did you just say that? Who gave that guy champagne? Are we live what? Yeah, I know I invited you, man, trip them. Yeah, something I will, I would trip somebody. Yeah, shock collars, come in handy, those would be. Uh, I should start passing those out at the river as it on. To be honest, did you say boom?
Speaker 1:yep I'm sorry you look like trouble. Step right up. Yeah, you're gonna need a special wristband.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, this one's going to have a little device that's going to go in my back pocket.
Speaker 1:that you're going to wear all weekend? Nope, hey, blue shorts no.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, get down, I've gotten pretty good where I can call them out. I'll radio the guys. Who's in the big white truck? We are not going to get along. First one that I throw out and they're like how do you know? I said I. He looked at me. I've been playing this game a long time.
Speaker 1:I can tell you, I can tell you, he looked at me.
Speaker 2:He's got a cockiness about him that we are not going to get along. He's got that look in his eyes that I don't even want him here, nope. Nope, and it happens, road, my nose is itching but yeah, um, you know, riley did my daughter-in-law and I just love so much, love them both. But she's married, obviously my son and they did a really cool one and I really like how they. So you know, back when I had mine and, of course, when you had yours different timing when I had my first one.
Speaker 2:Let's just, we already talked about it doesn't matter which one it was baggage anyways, but I like how they have transformed into I mean I had strippers, you know, you don't hear. I mean I'm a little different than the most than the rest of the Internet.
Speaker 1:Now. They don't really need all that. You just project them on the wall, or something, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:But they did a really cool trip where they went to Arizona and she found this adorable little Airbnb. It had like these little trails in the back. I think I remember the pictures.
Speaker 1:It was somewhere beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yes, and they rented her and her pink she loves pink and they got her a pink Jeep and they went Adventuring. Yes, did all a pink Jeep and they went Adventuring. Yes, did all these things. They did some hiking, they did. I mean, it was just they had every day was a really cool adventure, but it was. It was a really neat vacation and the pictures were phenomenal. They were waking up early and exercising and stuff. You know she's not like us.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, she looked like that.
Speaker 1:I know exactly why she's so pretty we're still exactly where the bloody mary's at what is happening, right now amen yeah, but it was really, really cool and I enjoyed the heck out of the pictures I forgot where that was somewhere in arizona, I think, tucson, if I'm not mistaken because I was like that seems like a weird place for a bachelorette party and the pictures were just stunning.
Speaker 2:Yes, and the things that they found. And you're thinking you know You're in the desert. What are y'all going to do? What are you going to? Who's going to hit on? Who's going to fall on the cactus first?
Speaker 1:Who's going to kill the snakes?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, because I'm running Riley doesn't do ants, okay, so yeah, first of all, and you're going to go in the desert, yeah yeah, scorpions out there. I mean no, I ain't doing that Exactly so. To each their own, but you know individualize your own party and get your people together and come to the river, if that's for you If you need to revisit your people and your invitations and exactly revisit your people and your invitations and exactly, I mean maybe pay a little bit closer attention to how they are when they this one can't have whiskey, this one cannot have the vodkas.
Speaker 2:This is a thing. This one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cannot be trusted to put them in a category all day.
Speaker 2:Put them in okay, we got category a. We got category b a. This is this, this B. Nah, this one drinks from sunup to sundown. So she's not going to do well on the Arizona trip where y'all are wanting to get up at 6 am. Go have a muffin and a protein shake or something with the granola on top.
Speaker 1:Consider your party.
Speaker 2:Make good choices To interview them if you need to Re-interview them, send them to my porch, I'll interview them. If you need to re-interview them, send them to my porch, I'll interview them. Me and kale. We can pull up another chair we'll be asking weird questions yeah, we'll let you know who is going to fit that particular party and who is not have to, if you need to criminal background check. I mean, if you don't know people for that, yeah, we can but I think that's just really important, that you make good choices, because if not.
Speaker 2:You may end up regretting that With a few less fingers, Write that down Keep your friends close and your fingers closer.
Speaker 1:You did not just go there, that is so good.
Speaker 2:We were both surprised when it came out of my mouth. Sometimes that happens a lot. You had a good one the other day. That was amazing. And you looked at me and you went and I was like you're right, that was so, so good, it was so good. What the?
Speaker 1:hell was it Girl.
Speaker 2:Oh no telling. This is why I keep saying we need to have Write that down. Yes, this is what happens when Nick is not around. We have write that down. Yes, when what? This is what happens when nick is not around. We will look like now, who's gonna write it down? Who's gonna put it in a spreadsheet? She can just tell siri to she, does she? Just yells and somebody in the house starts taking notes for us and one of these devices that she's got hidden all over the house.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to work any of that clearly I got an old school notebook, like I'll really be writing shit that's what I do I've been doing it since college. All my friends know too.
Speaker 2:Like oh, you wrote that in the book my amazon deals because I'm not gonna mention anybody's name tiger lily, but she likes to eat them. So I've got to put these guys on because I can't see nothing. See, you're blurry as hell right now.
Speaker 1:But because I do look a little blurry.
Speaker 2:It's too early in the day for that kill okay, okay, pace yourself. Yeah, um, but that's exactly how I do it and it drives her insane. She's sitting there. We worked till like 745 last night. That's my girl and her dedication, because we're plugging away and she's got a bachelorette party that she's supposed to be at in 20 minutes, so Are we done here?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so she's got her laptop here, her, my iPad, her ipad, and she's and you're like, where's the pin at? And that's me, yeah. And then I get up because I had to go get something one of the kids had come by and I get back down she's like, oh, she's on the phone, we've got one of our people on speaker, so she's talking to him, speaker, and she's going and she's getting them. You know how she is, oh yeah, and she's telling, yelling at me to write it down. And I was like I can't find my pen. Would you wait? And she was like, why are you looking for a pen? And so then she gets real mad and she puts them on mute and she's going find your pen. What are you?
Speaker 1:doing. She's like, I'm ready when you call me to do something.
Speaker 2:Three pins I could.
Speaker 1:I saw you do that three. You had three pins three fingers.
Speaker 2:That's because I got all these battle wounds all over myself. You're about to be. Three fingertips mine are not from a bride or a bridesmaid. They're from a monkey, so and she's mad, she's big mad. She's been acting like east texas. Oh oh, you know where she's from. It's all coming together now. It's all coming back to me now. I sent kail a good video this morning yes, you did and it and it did have that song in it because it was so good.
Speaker 2:I literally did. You see the moves that. Oh, when he go, we got to do it. It is so hilarious. I was crying, laughing at like seven o'clock this morning. I was like this is like bink, bink.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh God, it's too early to watch videos.
Speaker 2:I was already into it.
Speaker 1:I woke up, fired up Usually. Imagine my surprise.
Speaker 2:This is why me and your seven yearyear-old get along so well, Because I wake up and I'm like boom, boom, boom.
Speaker 1:And I'm like shh, shh, oh shit, she's awake.
Speaker 2:God be quiet, You're not that hungry. We're already on our second movie. Get some fruit man, leave me alone. Get the yogurt with the granola.
Speaker 1:I can't Get the ladder. No, he will too. He doesn't need a ladder, he just crawls. No he put the milk in the fridge upside down the other day. I mean, never in my life have I seen this Like fit perfectly between the shelves. And it wasn't the screw on top, it was the pop on top, oh yummy. I woke up and was like Ashton, where you at Calm out, I, I'm out. I'm getting punked.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There was a little pool of milk about this big but it was a full gallon.
Speaker 2:I thought you were about to tell me that it was literally like you had an island. Oh, I would have burned the house down.
Speaker 1:Islands in the stream. That is what we are. No one in between Milking in the stream. Oh, I would have burned the house down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not. No, that's when.
Speaker 1:I flooded the kitchen once. Excuse me, I just went for a walk for about an hour. Did you take a big lap, the biggest lap?
Speaker 2:It was like under the sink and in the drawers.
Speaker 1:I don't even live there anymore.
Speaker 2:No, I'm over that, shit you just walk outside, you take that sign and you get your little rock, you don't?
Speaker 1:even need a hammer.
Speaker 2:Foie sale by Ono. Yep, come and take it, come, come and take it. Yeah, come and take it. Yeah, free to a good home for a good person.
Speaker 1:Somebody come take this home you're gonna need a mop one of them and bring good ones. Bring them up, yeah, yeah, we got a situation yeah that's exactly how that happens.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you know how many of those I have been through. Oh man, I'm not, we're not talking about construction we're just talking about people that don't have any fingers anymore and, uh, we're not talking about construction. We're just talking about people that don't have any fingers anymore and we're not talking about construction. We are not talking about construction.
Speaker 1:Too soon. Count your blessings. Yes, count them, count them, so yeah. I'm looking forward to river season and bachelorette party. I'm glad Because I don't actually work there.
Speaker 2:I'm glad one of us on the porch is so excited about river season.
Speaker 1:I am actually work there.
Speaker 2:I'm glad one of us on the porch is so excited about uh river season. No, irresponsible I did. I was just having this conversation the other day. It's not that I don't like it, because I do and I love my clients and I love my customers and I love meeting new people but, but it's the ones that I've thrown out before that have begged me to come back, because they're disrespectful, they're ignorant, they lose their ever loving mind. Look, I am not.
Speaker 1:This is advice.
Speaker 2:if you want to come to the river, I am not perfect and I am going to tell you I will fuck up and I'll do it again and I'm probably going to do. But if you don't learn from your freaking lessons, come on and when somebody is thrown, and I tell my kids if I have ever gotten a phone call of when you guys are out and about, and y'all never in a million years, if I personally thought you know what, let's get an airbnb in puerto ranzas or go, let's go to the beach and let's just fuck up somebody's property and feel good about it and then leave. I've had people pee in trash cans. Who? Who are these people Pee in curtains? Houston? There's people that will shit all over the walls. I'm like what are you doing and how in God's green earth did you accomplish that? Who's your mother? I could not accomplish any of that if I tried.
Speaker 2:Were you standing doing a headstand and shot shit all over the?
Speaker 1:walls, the fact that you even had to think about how does something like that happen. It's unbelievable, mind-boggling.
Speaker 2:The amount of thievery. Oh, and I cannot stand.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, and you got a lot of treasure.
Speaker 2:Seriously and I take pride in what I do. But now at the point I had somebody make a comment to me this was probably three, four, five years ago and said, well, this cottage, it was probably the same like the weekend after Dingle Nuts came and kicked my doors and shit in yeah and well, this just doesn't look quite like the pictures.
Speaker 2:And I said what got me? I was in a good mood that day and I walked by and I said if you motherfuckers would quit stealing my stuff and shitting on my walls and kicking in my doors, maybe it would look like it's supposed to, because that is how it used to look. Right Before y'all got here.
Speaker 1:And I was just like so. Be respectful of other people's things. If you're going to plan a party, be selective.
Speaker 2:If not call me.
Speaker 1:And yes, all of that, let me help you Don't get your fingers bit off.
Speaker 2:Let me help you. Help me help you Plan a good party. If you think about that, it makes very perfect sense. Pick up your trash.
Speaker 1:Please, that's cringy. People like to come here and just think that if they sink a beer, can that it just disappears forever. No, I've thrown beer cans at people like hey, moonlight, that's you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We fucking live here, Right oh?
Speaker 2:that's a full on thing.
Speaker 1:I just saw they're doing a river cleanup here pretty soon. I was thinking about partaking.
Speaker 2:We're doing our big one. Well, let me know when. That is because it makes me feel good about you know. Yeah, to come. Let's do it, we'll just take our big old rafts and we tow behind.
Speaker 1:We'll have a party. You know Prize winners for the biggest trash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, of course, people love prizes and you know me and I love to put prizes together Fun and games. Coming soon, it will be fun. Yeah, we do that, let's do it yeah. We do try to do one before and after Of course, after is a whole. Yeah, like you need a caboose too. Didn't I just say I was going to change my name to Caboose, because I feel like I'm always pushing, coming?
Speaker 1:in hot, Exactly Wait, there's one more Dude.
Speaker 2:I made that comment yesterday. I feel like I should change my middle name to Caboose. Yeah, I'm going to think about it. It's nothing, you know, it's not. I haven't put it on the certificate yet. Wait for it.
Speaker 1:Put it on the list. I mean, it's kind of catchy. I thought about changing Rowan's middle name to Pistol, because you don't remember his real middle name, rowan Pistol. That's just cute.
Speaker 2:It's appropriate. I think Gypsy Caboose is something.
Speaker 1:You know you can do whatever you like. I usually do, and that's permission. Do whatever you like. You know, whatever it is, I usually do, I do, and that's permission.
Speaker 2:Do whatever you like, but be respectful. I don't know, I don't. We just had this conversation about permission slips last week.
Speaker 1:We don't do permission slips.
Speaker 2:I mean we should here.
Speaker 1:It is here that I'm sitting here talking about all the rules and things, all these rules that I have. Speaking of permission slips, make y'all sign one before you come to the resort. Co-signer, you're going to fuck up. Bring a friend that can pay for that, make sure I have your card on file and if you disappear with your inner tube, they are going to charge you for that. You're a part of that. I have witnessed it.
Speaker 2:I don't even work there. Where'd your?
Speaker 1:drunk cousin. Go, he gone. He's arrested. Where's his?
Speaker 2:tube. Did he take that to the Como County jail?
Speaker 1:with him For his mugshot. They will take you to jail in your bathing suit, so don't think that that is a joke. You need to go get some clothes on real quick.
Speaker 2:Oh, I had one of the guys radio me one time Down here naked. What do you mean? She's not got no, nothing on what is happening. Where'd it go? What? I'm not giving her a t-shirt, no, better go. No. I went and told her buddies I know you got a shirt big enough. Y'all are both about the same size.
Speaker 1:Go grab something out of your trailer a minute ago.
Speaker 2:Go get something out of your suitcase, your bag, your trailer, your drawer. I don't care if it's a pair of boxers towel they'll fit right there. Motel room curtain cover it up as long as it's not mine, they will they see, because you got to pay for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, somebody paying for that we did have that conversation.
Speaker 2:Yes, about them. That's a real story about the motel girl how everybody had on outfits and she had the scrubs.
Speaker 1:I couldn't figure out why, oh because she showed up in a motel curtain and they were giving it back to put on for her to leave. Jill, is this yours?
Speaker 2:ma'am, are you maria? Yeah, oh shit, girl. Is this your almond colored linen? They're gonna want that curtain just saying you want the clips that go with it, or do you want me to hang on to those? Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:So you said maybe next week you'll take them on a tour of the studio, or we were talking about that. Or even or the porch, or the gypsy too, the resort.
Speaker 2:We do need to decide. We want to do two, two live episodes Out in the world, out in the world.
Speaker 1:You might have to wait till you get some on site, get some entertainment that shows up on that river. Yeah, oh, and look at this guy over here. You see that he's going to try to ride the swan through the chute. It's going to be funny.
Speaker 2:We definitely need to do some whole porch conversations. We'll do it after the season so I can grab you some solid content, or in between, in between the check-in because it's going to probably be just like it always is every weekend, just when you like I said when you think you figured it out or seen it all, yeah, no. Then the next weekend rolls around. You're like wow, and you know me and our kids.
Speaker 2:Me and the kids will sit and we will. We'll do bets. Oh, I love it. After check-in, when everybody comes in, we will put a dollar in bet who's?
Speaker 1:the one?
Speaker 2:Who's the one? Who's going to be the first one we throw out? Who's going to be the first one that's naked? Who's going to be the first one that trips and falls? Who's going to be the first one that pukes in the shuttle? Who's going to be the first one that gets lost? We have a whole that's a fun game. It's like super bowl squares, I mean by the time you're done you, I mean you, you're into the gig. A couple 25, 50 it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1:Whether you bet or not, you're gonna it's like getting a bonus at the end of the weekend on that money.
Speaker 2:Here's the problem. I'm pretty freaking good at the game, yeah, and so I made this game. She said I do I do and I'm pretty pretty good. I've been around a lot of years longer. That was probably the worst. However, you say that I'm older than the rest of um, and so when I um, when I'm picking and choosing uh yeah, and I'm scanning usual suspects crowd, I'm gonna take mohawk, bigfoot and big belly over there, yeah for the win. Yep, who's gonna be the first one? Money uh-huh grab by the back.
Speaker 1:Yep, who's going to be the first?
Speaker 2:one Cough up your money, uh-huh, grabbed by the back of the neck, it's going to be you.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll do that. It's going to be site number. This River season is coming up. What?
Speaker 2:are you saying Memorial Day weekend? Memorial Day weekend, yes.
Speaker 1:So stay tuned for that.
Speaker 2:It is, and maybe a festival that one of the kids that works for me, like the rest of them, just like my son, he is putting together a little music fest that we're doing and I don't want to announce dates because but it's, it's, it's before Memorial day, but yeah, it's going to be fun.
Speaker 1:Just bring in a bunch of bands from Austin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's going to be a full on deal, so but we will. Austin um, yeah, it's going to be a full-on deal, so but we will. Okay, I'll get all the scoop, we'll get all the deets, and that's kind of like a pre-game of the pre-game?
Speaker 1:yeah, because lord knows we need a pre-game.
Speaker 2:We do because they're coming, whether you're ready or not he may just be doing this like a prep the gypsy mama before, because this is a trial run saying for the last two, three months I'm not ready yet, I'm not ready yet, I'm not ready yet I'm not ready yet.
Speaker 1:I'm not ready yet. Ready or not, here I come.
Speaker 2:Yeah so, but yeah so.
Speaker 1:Get ready.
Speaker 2:Bachelorettes, bachelor parties those are fun. Y'all think about your choices. Come up with some good games. Be creative. Keep your fingers close. Keep your fingers close. Pack a Band-Aid or two. A little first aid kit Snacks. Some yeah, beef jerky works really well, nice protein to absorb things up is a good recommendation.
Speaker 1:Solid, solid advice.
Speaker 2:Peanuts, you can throw a big old wad of them in your Yep. They're really really good for things like that. To absorb Crackers work well. Loaf of bread.
Speaker 1:You think you're going to be fine when you didn't eat? You're not going to be fine. No, you're not.
Speaker 2:Pace yourself, you're going to be the first one that's out. I see y'all all the time. Y'all just come floating down.
Speaker 1:I got this. No, they sleep, they're out, they are literally unconscious on the tube Yep. We have to roll them out of the tube.
Speaker 2:We got to roll them into the van, into the Another thing Drinking liquor and shots on the river in the daytime sun. I cannot, because y'all are sitting and then you stand up. It's a whole different game.
Speaker 1:It's a whole different game. Water works great. It's kind of fun to watch, unless you have to help someone, exactly, exactly, which is why I don't like that game, no, no, I'd rather just watch from here.
Speaker 2:That's why you're a math teacher.
Speaker 1:Exactly, I'm going to sit over here.
Speaker 2:I'm not helping you on my day off.
Speaker 1:There's not a kid or animal involved. You're on your own, I'm out. Yep, sorry we all have our callings, things I'm drawn to. That's not one of them, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, it's fun, we'll have a good time. Thanks for hanging with us guys today on our porch. Like, share, follow. Send us some, subscribe. I'm doing so good at that now.
Speaker 1:Just stumbling across the board you almost made it.
Speaker 2:I know I told y'all I would fall, but this is a different kind of Subscribe is what I was trying to say, so apparently that's the key. I've had several people ask me about notifications how to get and find.
Speaker 1:Oh, like, yes, when it?
Speaker 2:tells you when we have a new episode, when we've been hanging on the porch, because you won't want to miss it, if you want to come hang with the porch, you hit the subscribe button and it doesn't cost you anything. It just notifies you and tells you hey, tiff and Keller on the porch.
Speaker 1:Just an hour of your life.
Speaker 2:Don't hang out Talking about some shit that you probably are going to want to hear.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can be mad or sad, I mean you can have a better day after you hear that.
Speaker 2:Regardless, smile you can do whatever.
Speaker 1:Smile Makers Club. Smile Makers Club.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm doing so good with my. We're fortunate To be fortunate. Thanks for hanging with us, guys. Come on back friends, love y'all, love you. See you soon.